Wow, Spencer! This is really good. I'm very impressed. Keep it up! I look forward to reading more by you.

The story is decidedly improved from its previous incarnation. What I would suggest at this point: 1. In the beginning of the story, the dialogue is still a bit too ham-handed. A lot of this said so and so and so and so said is choppy. Towards the end of the story that tapers off significantly, which is I assume is because much of the later content was written at a different time. The dialogue toward the end of the story feels much smoother. 2. I think it confuses the premise and the pseudo-denouement and the overall chill of the tale to have Paul and Aaron talking to each other so much in the middle of the story. Since they are clearly Chris's own haunting delusions, I would better envision them as only harassing him, not each other or anyone else. Although I love the line about the "crazy ******* and the legitimately born lady" and I think you might want to work that into Chris's thought process or the delusions' direct interaction with him rather than with each other; especially when he is not even present too much of that doesn't make sense. 3. It is good that you've added more suspicious and variably interpretable reactions between Chris and Aaron/Paul; this makes the reader's moment of realization more poignant. However, you don't want to go overboard. The hand-waving? Great. The note to them in the car? Too much, I think. If you have the reader realize that this man is seriously deranged (and not just possessed of unfortunate companions) too early, a lot of the power of the ending is sapped. (Great ending, by the way. Very dark and provocative.) 4. I also get the feeling Chris and Jennifer have seen each other multiple times (ex., he mentions their "relationship" being similar to others he's had.) However, she acts as if she's just now noticed what a freak he is. :) I think the story would be stronger and convey even more sympathy for Chris if the implication was strong that he was on a first date and trying desperately to make a "normal" first impression. Perhaps he could even be stuck on a chain of first dates: a likeable guy from a distance, disturbed up close. Tragic. GOOD JOB! That's my man.