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The White Man Episode v - Messy

The White Man Episode v - Messy

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Published by Benjamin F. Kaye
Episode V
Episode V

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Published by: Benjamin F. Kaye on Feb 23, 2014
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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02/23/2014

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1
 
Messy
C
mon, c
mon!
 I rang Maggie
s doorbell. Maggie opened the door.
What?
 
Watch this!
 I was about to put the alien artifact in my mouth. She stopped me and jerked her head in the direction of the living room.
Honey, I
ve gotta help Mitch pick out some paint for his living room. We
ll be back in a while.
 
I thought you painted your living room last month.
 Trent walked into the front hall. Ironically, he was wearing a Captain Incredible tee-shirt.
I did
 –
 then decided that
forest green
 wasn
t all that it was cracked up to be.
 I smiled; Maggie had always been my partner in crime.
Uncle Mitch!
 Jack came running up to me and gave me a hug.
Can I come too?
 
Sorry buddy
.this is going to take a long time and it
s going to be a
very 
 boring affair.
 I messed up his hair. Funny, Maggie let me field that one.
What
s that you got in your hand?
 Jack was trying to pry open my fingers.
Yeah, Uncle Mitch, what is that you
ve got in your hand?
 Trent chuckled. Finally, Jack was bugging someone else this fine Saturday morning.
Oh my God! My earring! Oh crap I didn
t even notice.
 While I was busy trying to come up with an answer to Jack
s question, Maggie had surreptitiously slipped off one of her earrings.
Nobody move, I don
t want anyone stepping on it.
 While we were busy searching the floor for her missing earring, Maggie, the master of sleight of hand, slipped me a quarter. We exchanged sneaky smiles.
I don
t see it honey.
 Trent straightened up and scratched his head.
Got it!
 Maggie held up the earring in triumph.
 
2
 
Uncle Mitch, what
s in your hand?
 Jack went back to trying to get at my secret. I admired him
 –
 he was persistent alright.
I have a reward for the first person who can tell me the three branches of the federal government.
 A civics lesson on a Saturday morning? Sure, why not?
Boy
.that
s a tough one.
 Trent frowned, pretending to think very hard.
I know! I know! The Executive Branch, the Legislative Branch, and the Judicial Branch!
 
Good job Buddy!
 I handed him the quarter.
This is your reward.
 Maggie bent down in front of Jack.
Wow! Jack, you
re rich! Now you can buy Mommy those chocolate diamonds that she wants.
 
Well, off to the paint store. We
ll be back.
 I waved as I walked down the front steps. We got into the car and I let out a huge sigh of relief.
Oh my God. That was too close.
 Maggie looked over at me.
Do you have it?
 
Right here.
 Maggie opened her hand and the alien disc glinted in the sun. I held up my hand and the artifact zipped through the air.
Thanks.
 It slapped against my palm and I closed my fingers around it.
Mitch! How did you do that?
 
I
m back in business.
 I know I should
ve been very humble and somber, the way super heroes are supposed to be, but a triumphant grin slithered across my face. Maggie sat in my living room with a paper clip in front of her. It sat there innocently enough, gleaming on top of the coffee table. She looked up at me with those questioning eyes. I was in my armor.
Pick it up.
 
Why?
 
C
mon Maggie, just do it. I promise
 –
 no pranks.
 She picked up the paper clip.
OK?
 
OK
now put it down.
 
There!
 
 
3
 
OK
.ready?
 
Sure.
 
Now pick it up.
 Maggie tugged on the paper clip, but it wouldn
t budge.
What?
 She looked under the coffee table for a magnet or some other tricky contraption.
Nope. No magnet. Nothing up my sleeve
no mirrors or tricks of the light. Go on, try again.
 
Holy cow! Mitch, it
s really stuck.
 Maggie was trying everything.
See, it even works on something like a book.
 I directed my attention to a nearby paperback.
Mitch, what the hell are you doing?!
 Maggie couldn
t budge the book either. I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the back yard.
I wanted to save the best for last.
 I turned her around.
Now watch the house very carefully.
 My home rose up, ever so slowly, till it was two feet higher. Then I let it sink back down.
I can control gravity! This thing is  just
.just
.neat! It just needed a week to recharge-
 
Mitch, take it off.
 
What?
 
Mitch, just take it off! Please!
 I got out of the armor.
I thought you would be really excited.
 
Mitch, that thing is unstable.
 
Oh, so now you
re an expert on alien artifacts.
 
One week it gives you one power and another week it gives you something else. How do you know that it won
t kill you the next time you use it?
 
It won
t. I can handle it.
 
Mitch! You don
t even know what it is! No one on this
 planet 
 knows what that thing is, what it can do, or even where it came from. Mitch, please
.
 
I feel fine. Trust me
this thing and I are
.connected in some way. I can
t explain it
 –
 it
s a crazy-outer-space thing. Really, sis, it
s not going to hurt me.
 Maggie saw that look in my eyes. It was the same look that I had when I tried out for the baseball team two days after my chemo treatment.
Just be careful, OK?
 
Careful is my middle name.
 

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