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I love summer its warm. I love it most because that’s when you feel great shortshorts low cut dresses parties on beach. I live on the coast it’s a small town thething that surprises most people is that there isn’t a star bucks on the corner andthat in someplace you can’t get reception. But that has never bothered me mostlybecause if I want to talk to someone I generally write it’s much more personal. I findI feel more excited when someone sits down and takes half an hour out of there dayto write to me, its total small town behavior something that got lost on the way tothe city I remember when my friend moved to the city she promised to write notemail or text but to write hand written letters to show that I was still her best friendbut she forgot and the hand written letter turned into email that turn in to texts itsadden me.Four months before she moved and we were twelve my mum died in a car accidenton the way back from the city she owned a company and a week out of everymonth she would drive back and check on it and the rest she did from her office incoral coast that’s where we moved when me and my brother were three theydecided that they wanted to install us with small town values things my parent sthought city people had lost that we should be brought up with respect for theirelders and not this demanding attitude that most kids develop in the city. The waythey told the story you would think that they were giving us to new parents like thatthey would morph into new people with different values just because they movedup the coast. They didn’t mum still wore Gucci dad was still the ideal Calvin Kleinguy that every young women is looking for and we still were given everything wewanted but they still believed that there choice to move up the coast is what madeus the family we were.Dad worked as a city surgeon before we moved then he took up the house surgeonfor the local hospital it like was the hospital for four towns so he was paid well andnot that busy he learned to surf and ran every morning and mum did yoga andswam they fit right in people like them we kept out of trouble and that’s the way itwas till we where twelve just a normal family except that we never did anythingtogether mum and dad both worked and kept a different circle of friend to eachother and me and my brother were polar opposites my brother did excellent inschool I wouldn’t say he was a nerd he did have some of my dad’s good looks thatwere trying to break through but I wouldn’t say he was cool he had his click andmine were that athletes I participated in every sport soccer netball tennisbadminton running athletics. I had some kind of meet most nights so I didn’t do alot of study so I wasn’t an A student mostly b’s and c’s that was ok with me I wasgoing sports scholarship anyway . My brother was hired by my parents to tutor meevery Thursday for three hours. That was the only time that I spent any time withMitchell.On the afternoon of the accident I was sitting in English passing a note to Isabeltelling her another way to get her out of moving to LA and she was laughing when James Harris I tiny 15 year old walked in to the room with a note. We were a small

town so high school and middle school were combinded. Mr. Smith stood up and askthat I come up to the front of the room a minute with all my stuff and then heexplained that I go to the front office my father was here to pick me up. I felt soweird dad had never pick us up before ever not in the eight years I had gone toschool as I started to panic that something might of happened to Mitchell and thenbefore I could control myself I was running straight through the doors and in todaddies arms he said that we had to go quickly to the hospital and then it hit methat it was mum as Mitchell walked in the door he looked alarmed but not worried.As dad started the car he turn on the music and said nothing he look like he wastrying to do some hard math calculation in his head as he pulled up to the hospitalhe turned to us and he said and this is, word for word. Mum has passed away in acar accident this morning she was rushed here after a car smashed her into a wallthe other driver had had a seizure while driving it was most likely her first one asthere is no mention in her medical files. He looked down. The morgue is holding herbody for us to look at and that if you want to say goodbye you can but I will tell younow it isn’t what I would like to remember her like that so I won’t be going in withyou. I said that I wanted to say goodbye Mitchell said that he should accompany medad said that he didn’t have to I think this was the easiest way for Mitchell to saygoodbye. Use me as an excuse and he did this for many more times over the nextfour years. I can’t remember what she looked like I have successfully blocked it outand the funeral it’s hard to say that our family was untouched by the passing of ourbeloved mother slash wife but it would be lying to say that we mourned her foryears and my father was never able to work again and that we were nearly put intofoster care because our father was to grief ridden to look after us. We were sad fora few weeks we cried and missed school and wore black dad then after two monthsdecided that is was time for a trip and we headed abroad to Europe and we stayedthere till Christmas we missed two months of school on for that trip. And that waswhen I learned about education I put down the bat and picked up the pen and forthe first time since grades mattered I got an A it was for English a subject which waslike my mortal enemy but soon became my closest companion. Mitchell seemedalmost unaffected he still did well and still didn’t participate in sports and still ranwith different friends but he did seem quieter that should have been the first sighit’s a pity we missed it. Dad was funny afterwards he would be so unattached andthen he would be overbearing and then our best friend he did the best he could Isuppose. Gram on dads side occasionally came down on the first year she used tocome every third Christmas as she had two other children and never like to be seenas favoring one over the other. Their Father had left then when they were young, asfor mum’s parents her dad was died from a heart attack when I was eight and hermum had alsimzmers and couldn’t remember that she had a daughter. So dad triedto a make up for the fact that we had shitty grandparents and now no mother thenext three years where odd Isabel moved away half way through the first year mumwas died and I made new friends ones that you sat with and had in-depthconversations with about the new hot guy on the front of Cleo but not friends that

you took home for a sleep over. Dad used to ask why but gave up after he got sickof hearing that I just didn’t want to and to leave it alone.I remember when I was thirteen and the school nurse called me into her office and Iwas surprised considering my father was a doctor. I just about fell of my chair whenI found out what she had brought me in for at first I thought that I might have beenon suicide watch when she opened with I know your mother died a year ago and asthe nurse I was wondering if you knew about your period and if not maybe it wouldbe easier coming from a women rather than your father. I look shocked I know Icould feel it in my face the utter shock I said that I had been told by one of thenurse at the hospital and my father had thought the same thing as her about it wasbetter coming from a women rather than him. This was so the thing the letters were for but Isabel hadn’t written in over twomonths so I felt like it was kind of a sigh that maybe she was over me. So I didn’ttell anyone and just let it go.Over the next three years I developed a very great relationship if a guy namedSteve he went to college up state and he came back every holiday and someweekends. We meet when I was sitting on the beach contemplating waves that isanother thing I started doing was contemplating random things. When heinterrupted me he looked magnificent and he knew it, we used to meet up at nightand do things that we shouldn’t do, things he would have come to prison for hadanyone found out I think Mitch new but he never said I was very careful he got mebirth control and that’s what kept me entertained till I was fifteen and he finishedschool and stopped coming down. It was sad but I got over it and thinks went backto normal so to speak and I started to think about the next two years of school andcollege and after. I think Steve helped if gave me some kind of love not a healthylove that would have made me into this great person but love that made me happy.If you expected more then let me remind you that I was a thirteen year old sleepingwith a nineteen year old in the early hours of the morning in the holiday and onsome weekends it wasn’t much, but it was more than I had got in a very long time.When I was 15 I went on a school excursion to New York city it was great and I feltfree. I felt like I belonged there were no reminders no looks of pity I don’t talk aboutthat because I brings up the horrible memory of the first anniversary of mums deaththey did this big thing in town that we decided not to go to because it was easier tobe at home rather than put on some crap front about we were still sad but gettingover it one day at a time with the help of the community, so we stayed home andthe town mourned and the next day as we went to the diner for breakfast as we sathidden in the corner booth which had become our seat a group of three or fourcame in and bitched about how ungrateful we were for not coming and howdisrespectful we were and how we best not expect this kind community supportnext year. As we sat there dad just put his face in his hands and told us to get upthat we were leaving and as they turned around to look at my father and his two