you took home for a sleep over. Dad used to ask why but gave up after he got sickof hearing that I just didn’t want to and to leave it alone.I remember when I was thirteen and the school nurse called me into her office and Iwas surprised considering my father was a doctor. I just about fell of my chair whenI found out what she had brought me in for at first I thought that I might have beenon suicide watch when she opened with I know your mother died a year ago and asthe nurse I was wondering if you knew about your period and if not maybe it wouldbe easier coming from a women rather than your father. I look shocked I know Icould feel it in my face the utter shock I said that I had been told by one of thenurse at the hospital and my father had thought the same thing as her about it wasbetter coming from a women rather than him. This was so the thing the letters were for but Isabel hadn’t written in over twomonths so I felt like it was kind of a sigh that maybe she was over me. So I didn’ttell anyone and just let it go.Over the next three years I developed a very great relationship if a guy namedSteve he went to college up state and he came back every holiday and someweekends. We meet when I was sitting on the beach contemplating waves that isanother thing I started doing was contemplating random things. When heinterrupted me he looked magnificent and he knew it, we used to meet up at nightand do things that we shouldn’t do, things he would have come to prison for hadanyone found out I think Mitch new but he never said I was very careful he got mebirth control and that’s what kept me entertained till I was fifteen and he finishedschool and stopped coming down. It was sad but I got over it and thinks went backto normal so to speak and I started to think about the next two years of school andcollege and after. I think Steve helped if gave me some kind of love not a healthylove that would have made me into this great person but love that made me happy.If you expected more then let me remind you that I was a thirteen year old sleepingwith a nineteen year old in the early hours of the morning in the holiday and onsome weekends it wasn’t much, but it was more than I had got in a very long time.When I was 15 I went on a school excursion to New York city it was great and I feltfree. I felt like I belonged there were no reminders no looks of pity I don’t talk aboutthat because I brings up the horrible memory of the first anniversary of mums deaththey did this big thing in town that we decided not to go to because it was easier tobe at home rather than put on some crap front about we were still sad but gettingover it one day at a time with the help of the community, so we stayed home andthe town mourned and the next day as we went to the diner for breakfast as we sathidden in the corner booth which had become our seat a group of three or fourcame in and bitched about how ungrateful we were for not coming and howdisrespectful we were and how we best not expect this kind community supportnext year. As we sat there dad just put his face in his hands and told us to get upthat we were leaving and as they turned around to look at my father and his two
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