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Editor's Note of Caution
This novel is not a novel. Okay it is, but still, it shouldn't beread cover-to-cover, but more like middle-to-second chapter-to-fifth part and so on. Let me offer you a helpful scenario:imagine that you are a naughty little frog, joyfully hopping from Lilly pad to log even though your mother specifically told you to stay in the water. That’s how you want to read thisbook, like a rebellious frog who needs to be taught a lesson. Also, do not read this book. Reading it is exactly the wrong thing to do, as it means actively processing and interpreting words and sentences. You should take a much more passiveapproach and just let this book happen. I can’t be muchmore specific than that. Soon you will find yourself enjoying it with the same spirit in which it was written: you will be con-fused, uncertainty and trepidation will befriend you, and you will find yourself in no particular hurry to finish, perhapsever. We worked hard to ensure that this book is wholly unreli-able. With little deliberation on the matter, we attentively removed any consistencies, hacked away at any semblance of plot, and corrupted all information deemed to be provable orfactual. In retrospect, this was a very bad choice to make, andI’m considering firing myself right after I finish writing thisnote.Mark Twain once wrote that "you can judge any book sim-ply by taking its author to court on the matter," but I'm hop-ing you don't react with judgment or anything else resembling a lawsuit. In fact, if everything works out right, you will finishthis book some time next year, photocopy a couple of thegood parts, and pass them around the office or at school.Don't worry about the copyright law, because right now, Igive you permission to copy the hell out of this book.Finally, if you catch up with me someday, you might betempted to ask me what parts of this book were true and what actually happened. This will be a good sign to me that you didn't really read the book, so I'll smile at your joke. It isa joke, isn't it?Sincerely (whatever
that
means),Michael Mason Widworth, Mass. Aug 5, 1955p.s. I lied, I am not really the editor, and Mark Twain didnot really write that. It was Oscar Wilde.
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