What to say, then, of accepting a God who, silently, indifferently or impotently, watchesall the misery of human sufferings - or worse - sometimes, even valuing them for thegood reason that
“suffering humanizes men”
? No, this can not be right and that’s why I grew up with many unanswered questions…However, on the other hand, I was brought up in the country-side, surrounded by Godfrom all sides. Just watching a sun-rise through a dense fog in the morning; a goldensun-set over the lake or appreciating the sun-rays shining through a dark forest; or even just getting charmed by infinity of flowers and smells were enough to feel Hispresence. Just perceiving the silence that speaks to one’s heart was enough to seeand feel God all around, one that
did not know, yet, to be God, Himself, manifested. Ithought that it was just His work, but that was already enough to make me feel moved.Today I know that it was Him, it has been Him, all along.One grows up hearing things like: God is everywhere. God is power. We are thechosen children of God. God is love! God is life! And, so on… and so forth…We hear,but do not understand. Why don’t we understand? Should it be because we’re bad?No, that is not why. It is because the lives we live do not agree with these affirmations.One question we always ask is: WHERE IS GOD?And we feel small, uncared for, rejected, because we do not hear a reply. Then… aswe are separate from God, it is better we fend for ourselves whatever way we can. Theresult is this world as it is, with whatever good or bad it has.A lot of what I learned is due to years of reading about searches from all men, of allraces and creeds. A lot of what I built in my inner self comes from tens of illuminatedwriters who reported their discoveries and, from these readings and apprenticeships, Ichose what reverberated as truth within me. I have never been fanatic for anything.Thus, I hope that my reader does the same: choosing that which resonates in his/her heart. It is God blowing at one’s chest.I owe, too, great leaps to one or other master who has crossed my way. Someteachers engaged in their own searches, who had trailed the way first and who havemade my course easier. Other people, here and there, even without intention, saidsomething that caught my ear and which I, rapidly, stored somewhere with all my lovefor making my own quilt about God. However, I have to say that, recently, I owe to JoelGoldsmith, the opening of the latest door. His writings perplexed my being, leading meto find the answers to several questions that roamed around still without solution. Thus,if my writings wake up your soul, make sure you read his books, too.