In the 21st Century Racism Still Lives
today -- Oh Boy!Can you believe that here and now, in the 21st Century, a justice of the peace inLouisiana refused to marry an interracial couple? He admitted to refusing to marry four couples in his 2 1/2 year career.I am proud of the couple, Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay, who spoke out againstKeith Bardwell, the justice of the peace.The couple got no justice, and now Mr. Bardwell is getting no Peace.In an incredible interview with Mary Foster of Associated Press, this public servantapparently made the subjective judgement that interractial marriages do not work terriblywell and their offspring ould whave trouble, so he would not marry them, even though hesaid he tried to treat everyone equally and even let his black friends use the toilets in hishouse.Then, I started wondering how little I knew about the deep south. For a couple of years, Ilived and worked in North Carolina while I served my hitch in the military.I had a couple of interesting interchanges with folks who had never met a Jew before andasked me what I believed in.The day I arrived for duty as a medical officer at Fort Bragg (Fayetteville, NorthCarolina) there was no room at the BOQ (Bachelor Officer's Quarters) and thedepartment secretary, with extreme kindness, felt sorry for me and said I could sleep onher sofa -- something I was delighted to do.We sat up most of the night because she had rightly guessed my Jewish roots from mylast name. She had never met a Jew before and she wanted to know what I believed inand such and we talked a lot. The question that burned into my memory was when sheasked me what was so special about Jewish mothers. She had worked hard all her lifeand raised a family of whom she was proud, kids who went to college, married and hadfamilies. She actually wondered if there was a way she could have done it better if shewere Jewish. I reassured her as best I could that there was not. She was not a stupidwoman by any means, but she was visibly relieved when I told her I was certain she had been a wonderful mother.She was a little surprised when I asked permission to discuss some stereotypes about thesouth that had been part of my upbringing in that Yankee bastion, Boston. This consistedmostly of views about the "southern belle" that seem to have come from "Gone with theWind," although I did not see that movie until years later in North Dakota. I had really
been told by some august Boston folk that the beauty of Southern women was famous,and that they used it to manipulate men. My hostess was visibly surprised, and verystraightforward. She said she didn't think anybody she knew down there lookedanywhere near as good as the fashion models in magazines. She had worked hard all her life, not just raising her family but also, at least when she was younger, in peanut andsoybean fields and processing, until she could secure the education that qualified her as acivilian in military employment.As a matter of fact, I then remembered the first psychiatrist who had ever told meanything about the art, my preceptor at the state hospital when I was in medical school inFrance.He told me, as I was seated in the backyard of his home after a wonderful dinner withhim and his wife, out of the clear blue sky, that Jewish folks were wonderful, but had to be careful about this "Chosen People" thing. I bristled a little bit and he saw it, but hekindly explained to me that if we thought we were better than everyone else, peoplewould not like us terribly much. We did agree that it was a protective thing as there had been some considerable historical problems, like World War II and the Nazis, who werewell known not to be fond of Jews and had tried to kill us off.He then explained to me that racism started with people wanting to feel better aboutthemselves. When people who did not achieve or attain social status, it became easy todiscriminate against a group of people for whom life seemed "easier."My family had a life which centered around synagogue. I had started my schooling in areligious school. But the minute I broke out of that milieu and started meeting people of other origins, it was pretty clear to me that they were more like us than different. My parents had not had that kind of experience at the same early age or with the sameintensity as I had.The "wanting to feel better about themselves" idea is very true, and is reflected in
produced by the American PsychologicalAssociation. (This is another important topic rarely discussed with us "pill-pushing" psychiatrists.)I suddenly realize that racism has never really gone away. To quote another famous man-- Popeye the Sailor -- "I am what I am" and I have sure tried to be a decent non-discriminatory human being, as I honestly believe most folks have. My non-Jewishhusband has never shown anything but respect for my constantly evolving Jewish theism.He was raised as what I guess you could call "Bible-Belt Protestant" in the midwest.I stood my ground with my Jewish parents and told them that I was not going to tell him"convert or else." My love stood then and now. The justice of the peace who married usin the city where I took my psychiatric training had known me because I had committedlots of psychiatric patients in the course of my residency training. He said somethingabout "Goldstein, this is the ultimate commitment" and he waived his fees. Actually, I
had seen him once in that same city where I took my training when I dropped into a localScottish Presbyterian Church for a bagpipe ceremony/concert. I had explained to himthen I was Jewish and just visiting. He smiled amused. Not many people seek out bagpipe concerts voluntarily.As I think back now, there were lots of times I sat with people and explained myself in amillion ways. I am glad that people have had the courage to ask me about my religiousand national identity and about my beliefs. When I was in France, I talked to people whowere "leftists" or communists and had been afraid to tell me that until they were reassured by others that the McCarthy era was over and that Americans would probably not clobber leftists, especially when abroad, and that I was basically nice and would not clobber anybody. I remember an Armenian physician-preceptor in France who told me thatalthough Napoleon had done some things that some people didn't like, that imperialisthad legislated the "equality of races" or else we both would not be there practicingmedicine (even though the kings of France had slipped some Jews into their financedepartments).Unfortunately, I remember most vividly the first day of the second year of medical schoolwhen my professor of physiology chastised me in front of the class for taking a medicalschool place from a Frenchman who would need the money to raise a family. I simplycited the Napoleonic Code which made my presence in medical school both legal andappropriate, and nothing more was said about my earned (I placed 38th out of 610 peoplein the competitive medical school examinations) presence.When I was in prep school in the sixties I heard about some people going south,including Jewish people, to march against inappropriate treatment of African-Americans.I thought it was good. My parents did not think it was a bad thing, but when I told themthat Jewish people had gone, too, they cut me off at the pass and told me nobody like meshould go alone that far on a bus, which was probably true. A few African-Americangirls entered my private prep school without incident.My extra attempts to extend myself to them and be friendly probably represented a sort of reverse discrimination, since I simply did not know people of races other than my own,and I wanted to.One crucial turning point was an experiential group the military sent psychiatrists to. Wewere all in a room with a group trying to figure out why we were there, until a group"leader" went silent and started making comments about our need to recognize thediversity in the room.I remember talking to a black social worker from Washington, D.C, with whom Icorresponded for a bit. We were both a bit surprised to realize how similar our struggleshas been.I realized just now that everything I have said and done is consistent with the AmericanPsychological Association pamphlet on trying to eliminate racism. I talk a lot. Words
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