Friday, July 13, 2007

— Vol. 30, No. 6

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The following article is an editorial printed in the November 7, 1958 (volume 1, no. 1) issue of

The CordWeekly

, the first undergrad student publication at theUniversity of Waterloo (known then as Waterloo Col- lege and Associated Faculties).

IMPRINT REWIND

browse our dust-free archiveshttp://imprint.uwaterloo.ca/archives

Remember obsessing over day-to-day problems for hours on the phone with your best friend when you were a teen? Well, according to a recentstudy, those overly-long conversations can exacerbate depression andanxiety in teenage girls.

The study, from University of Missouri-Columbia, found that this

“co-rumination” — complaining and obsessing over problems withclose g

irlfriends — seemed to raise anxiety and depression. While thesechats also tightened the bonds of friendship, male subjects achievedthe same level of bonding without the increase innegative emotions.Researchers surmisedthat this might be becausegirls are more likely to inter-nalize their problems thanboys, who are more proneto externalizing them. Now,here’s where my problem withthis study begins and ends. If girls are prone to internalizing problems and blaming them-selves, shouldn’t venting thoseemotions to a close friend besoothing, as opposed to a sourceof more frustration?Girl talk is cathartic, notsomething that makes it worse.Imagine if parents started isolating their teenage daughters from theirfriends so that they had to bottle those feelings up inside — would thatreally solve anything? I understand that co-ruminating about problemsmay increase negative feelings after the encounter, but in the long runit’s healthier to get the negativity out in the open.Girlfriends can sometimes be the sole source of support for someteens. Their parents may be well-intentioned, but too uptight to ask forreal advice, or just MIA. For me, I would take all the potentially un-necessary brooding over reducing my overly-long conversations withmy best girls.No matter how hard you try, most teenage girls aren’t going to talk

to a counselor or a parent if they’re feeling upset. They’re going to ip

through their phonebook and call the closest girlfriends on their list. Atthe tender age of 14, your best girlfriends may not have been the mostsensible people in the world, but at least one of them would usually have good advice, be it to visit the health clinic or change face-washes — whenever one didn’t have the answer, well that’s usually when parentshad to get involved.Girlfriends provide a necessary support network for young girls.Surrounded by a constant barrage of unattainable body images and allsorts of marketing, a friend that hugs, tells you that you’re beautiful nomatter whatshisface says, stops you from hurting yourself or tells off the teacher who failed you, can be the best cure in the world. Girls aremore apt to blame themselves for their own shortcomings than boys,so maybe their form of “co-rumination” seems more negative becausethey dwell on their own failings, while boys focus on what caused thesituation to go wrong.

It may sound depressing to lay around watching chick icks after

a break-up and whine about how you “were never really that into himanyway,” but it’s really only depressing if you do it alone. Besides,

somebody

has to help you nish that Häagen-Dazs.

acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Let’s hug it out, bitch

IMPRINT FORWARD

The following is a comment posted on AshleyCsanady’s column titled “Take back the night?” (published July 13, 2007). The comment has beentruncated but otherwise left unedited.

Want to teach them a lesson?

posted by cpb

Ashley, on behalf of all men with brains and a sense ofdecency, I’m sorry you had to deal with this bs.My recommendation: make them pay using the real‘power’ available to you.[...]So yes, I’m a guy. In my opinion, there is no placefor this kind of bull-shite anywhere, anytime.Women should not be frightened in the world todaybut, unfortunately, all it takes is one attack to inflictlasting pain (mental and physical). The one time you letyourself become overconfident in a possibly dangeroussituation is the one time you will regret it. I’m not sayinglive in fear, I’m saying live smart. You are one woman,they were multiple men. The odds were stacked againstyou if they were looking for trouble. You were smart toplay it safe Ashley. It is better to fume at home than tofind out they were out looking to cause real trouble.There is no point in giving them a piece of your mind,it is (most likely) what they want. Walking by with yourhead raised high won’t help either, they will just pick onthe next woman who walks by. These guys crave yourattention (as they clearly don’t know how to attractwomen using their natural charm).[...]If you want to make the world safer for womeneverywhere it is my opinion that stupid men like thisneed to have fear put into them and pain broughtdown on them.If you had a big pack of women with you I mightrecommend some vigilante justice involving kickingsome groins, laughing at how little there was to kick,then walking away. As you were alone, the police orbouncers would be your next best bet (IMHO).[...]Just my 2 cents. :-)

Girl talk is cathartic, not something that makes it worse.

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Opinion

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