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Why Women Have Sex: 7 Surprising Questions Answered

Why Women Have Sex: 7 Surprising Questions Answered

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Published by Jed Diamond
While figuring out what women want has stumped men for centuries, understanding how they think about sex may have just gotten easier. Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book Why Women Have Sex and managed to come up with 237 reasons, ranging from the predictable — commitment — to the puzzling — curing a headache.

I’ve known David Buss for more than 20 years and find his research to be some of the most important in understanding why men and women are the way we are. Teaming up with Cindy Meston, who specializes in female sexuality, is sure to expand their understanding of sex, love, and intimacy.

Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one might think. TIME spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-ons and turn-offs involved in female sexuality, and what a guy can do to stand a chance.

I look forward to your comments and questions.
Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com
While figuring out what women want has stumped men for centuries, understanding how they think about sex may have just gotten easier. Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book Why Women Have Sex and managed to come up with 237 reasons, ranging from the predictable — commitment — to the puzzling — curing a headache.

I’ve known David Buss for more than 20 years and find his research to be some of the most important in understanding why men and women are the way we are. Teaming up with Cindy Meston, who specializes in female sexuality, is sure to expand their understanding of sex, love, and intimacy.

Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one might think. TIME spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-ons and turn-offs involved in female sexuality, and what a guy can do to stand a chance.

I look forward to your comments and questions.
Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com

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Published by: Jed Diamond on Oct 17, 2009
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Why Women Have Sex: 7 Surprising Questions Answered 
By Jed Diamond, Ph.D.Contact:
 
ByAlyssa FetiniTuesday, Time Magazine Oct. 06, 2009While figuring out what women want has stumped men for centuries,understanding how they think about sex may have just gotten easier.Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book
Why Women Have Sex 
and managed to come up with 237 reasons,ranging from the predictable — commitment — to the puzzling —curing a headache.Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one mightthink. TIME spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-onsand turn-offs involved in female sexuality, and what a guy can do tostand a chance.
1. You co-authored a famous 2007 study "Why Humans HaveSex." Why focus on women this time around?
We discovered that women's sexual psychology turned out to be far more complex than we envisioned. [It] deserved an entire book-lengthtreatment.
2. What differences between men and women did you notice?
There are important gender differences in sexuality, but these mustbe interpreted within the context of a high level of similarity. Bothwomen and men have sex because they are physically attracted tothe person, for pure pleasure, because they are in love, or simply
 
because they are horny. But within the overall similarity, I'd saywomen's sexuality tends to be more linked with love and emotionalbonding. Women, more than men, like sex when there's some kind of emotional connection. Men were more likely to have sex simplybecause the opportunity presented itself. Women tend to be pickier,especially for short-term sexual encounters. And men are moremotivated to have sex to boost their status among their peers,although some women in our study also had sex for precisely thisreason.(Read more about the chemistry of desire.)
3. What are the main reasons why women have sex?
The most frequent reasons include: sexual attraction to the person,the desire for physical pleasure, to express affection, to express their love for a person or because they were sexually aroused and wantedrelease.Other important reasons are to boost their self-esteem or sexualesteem, to get revenge, to secure "mate insurance" in case a partner dumps them, to relieve pain, to achieve health benefits such asgetting rid of a headache — yes, it works — to decrease stress, tolose weight and as a sleep aid. We devote one chapter to "sexualeconomics," which focuses on all the ways in which women have sexas an exchange for other benefits, such as getting her partner to takeout the garbage, securing free dinners or getting expensive gifts. Wealso devote one chapter to what we call "the dark side" of women'ssexuality — when women have sex because they were deceived,coerced or forced into it.(See photos: "Same-Sex Overtures AcrossSpecies")
4. Any particularly surprising findings?
I was surprised by the importance of revenge. A few had sex in order to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease. Morecommonly, women's revenge sex involved getting back at a cheatingpartner, or having sex with the partner of a friend who had poachedher partner. Actually, the frequency of mate-poaching also surprisedme — the frequency with which women try to lure men who arealready "taken," either for a short-term sexual liaison or a longer-term

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