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While figuring out what women want has stumped men for centuries, understanding how they think about sex may have just gotten easier. Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book Why Women Have Sex and managed to come up with 237 reasons, ranging from the predictable — commitment — to the puzzling — curing a headache.

I’ve known David Buss for more than 20 years and find his research to be some of the most important in understanding why men and women are the way we are. Teaming up with Cindy Meston, who specializes in female sexuality, is sure to expand their understanding of sex, love, and intimacy.

Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one might think. TIME spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-ons and turn-offs involved in female sexuality, and what a guy can do to stand a chance.

I look forward to your comments and questions.
Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com