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THE DICKLESS WONDER 
“THE PILOT”
CreatedbyJosh MitchellWrittenbyJosh Mitchell
JOSH MITCHELL WICKID PISSA FILMS
mitchmitchell24@hotmail.com
http://www.youtube.com/wickidpissafilms 
 
 MAIN CHARACTERSRICHARD RINKLES
is a club promoter and consummatebachelor who treats women like decorations at a juniorhigh dance: he tramples on them the next day. His goodlooks are as undeniable as his indecent tendencies.
RONNIE RINKLES
is Richard’s dweebish younger brotherwho never could close the deal with chicks untilRichard loses his most prized possession. He takesfull advantage of his brother’s predicament byscooping up every lady that Richard has to deny.
DARLENE RINKLES
is Richard and Ronnie’s straight-lacedolder sister and their surrogate mom, which includesbut isn’t limited to, daily pious and judgmentalfinger-pointing and constant scolding. She vigorouslyshakes her head every time she wants to emphasize anacid-etched point. She is the Dean of Science andEnvironmental Studies at an all-female university.
LESTER JESTER, “The Sex Toy Tester”,
is an albinowitch doctor who pays his bills by testing newcutting-edge sex toys. His days of wrestling havegiven him a great appreciation of delivering justice.
LATEESHA JESTER 
is Lester’s younger sister. She’stall, pretty and proud. She never hides her propensityfor overconfident white men. If ever convicted ofmurder, she would stride off to the gas chamberwearing high heels and earrings.
  MARIBEL BARRIO
is a bleeding heart liberal and thedirector of a non-profit company that provides shelterand food for homeless people. Her main hobby isphotography, but neither an extreme wide-angle lensnor an x-ray machine could capture her inner beauty.
FRANK RINKLES
is the cropped-haired, soft-spokenpatriarch of the Rinkles clan who once demonstratedadvanced dementia to get out of jury duty. He is amailman and has the sculpted calves to prove it.
 
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  ACT ONE
FADE IN:INT. APARTMENT - BEDROOM – NIGHTRICHARD stands over a BENT-OVER BEAUTY, studying hisfacial expressions in the mirror as he screws the girlfrom behind like an epileptic Elvis.She WAILS like Pavarotti stubbing his toe.For him, this sex act is strictly textbook and asyawn-inducing as listening to NPR during a marathonbubble bath.RICHARD(rolling his eyes)
Oh, yeah, baby 
, I’m giving youthe Grade-A, VIP, all-you-can-eatbuffet treatment.More MOANING.INT. DIFFERENT BEDROOM – NIGHTRichard has athletic sex with a petite GORGEOUS GIRLin a different bedroom.This time the girl is on top, looking down at him.RICHARDHow’s it feel to have the bestview in the city?PETITE GIRL(not getting it)What view? My apartment is belowstreet level so all I see arewobbly women in discounted shoes. RICHARDNo, I mean – forget it.
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