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I found a letter from my dad
Denise's Story after he passed away. His
words read "Don't throw me
My dad was a cross dresser away". I believe in my heart
when I was a child. This I am involved in this out of
made me feel very respect and love from those
uncomfortable around him words that my dad wrote.
growing up. This confused
me with his role of a father in http://help4families.com/?pa
my childhood. I just wanted ge_id=18
him to be my “dad”.
A personal Note
I learned after his passing
that he was in a homosexual I found a letter written by my
relationship. This was dad. This letter had been
another dilemma for me to sent years earlier to me. I
deal with. Even though he had refused to accept it. I
had passed on, it seemed still remember standing in
like another chapter of his the post office. I stood with
life was revealed to me. I this letter in my hand. I had
had questioned this to myself decided that I was not going
growing up. I never told to read or accept any more
anyone about myself communication from him. I
questioning “if he was gay”. asked the postmaster to
Now the truth was there on refuse the letter. You see, I
pen and paper. had always opened my dad's
letters hoping they would tell
There are many of us going of his return and desire to
though this situation. There get the help he so
are many of us out there. desperately needed. I don't
Don't think the Gender know if it would have
Identify Disorder does not changed anything or not if I
exist or hurt people. It is not had accepted this letter then.
as funny as the T.V. programs The point I am making by
portray. sharing it now is, I believe I
am doing now what my dad
I can know what it is like asked of me in this letter.
living with someone who was
hurting deep inside with the Denise,
Gender Identity Disorder. I
lived to experience and know I know I was not a good
the emotional pain within my father. In so many ways I
father and my family. failed. But I tried to do what
was right and always seem to father as a man. As he grew
make a mess of everything I older, his defiance grew
ever did. If I could do it all deeper towards his father. He
over again I would try much detached himself early in life
harder to do better. from his father. The family
unit was dysfunctional.
Please do not just throw me Verbal abuse would be the
away as if I don't exist. I type of abuse I witnessed
know I did you wrong in between my grandfather and
many ways. I can not change my dad. My dad viewed my
it. It took place. I do not grandfather’s world as a
remember a lot of things, place he did not want to be.
just like so much of my He totally detached himself,
childhood. feeling that the man world
was not a safe place for him
I tried to show that to be.
something was still there
when I sent your birthday 2. Feels disconnected from
card and signed it dad. the masculine world. My dad
did not feel he could connect
God Bless you to the masculine world.
I do love you When he visited with people,
Dad he seemed to be more
comfortable with the woman.
http://help4families.com/?pa He would prefer to talk with
ge_id=194 the woman. I noticed this as
a child and thought it was
Possible causes to strange. I was also surprised
consider that no one seemed to
recognize this? "Don’t they
Let’s take a look at the some see it?" I used to ask myself.
of the characters that may I believe my dad felt safer
lead someone into the life and more accepted in the
style of cross-dressing or woman’s world more than in
sexual reassignment surgery the man’s world. It was
(SRS). where he felt he could
connect.
1. Attaches oneself to mom’s
world. Attaches himself to 3. Does not feel part of the
her as the safest place in the male world and feels out of
world. Desires to be loved by place when in the male
a man like his mother. My world. There was a time
dad never truly felt loved as when my mother was in the
a son or accepted by his hospital. This left my dad to
take care of his five children When you don’t feel good
and the household choirs. I about yourself and can never
remember him being in the measure up to someone
living room, folding laundry else’s standards, you are
on the couch. I was on the bound to struggle with low
left side of him just watching self esteem. My dad went to
him while he was whistling school for masonry. He did
folding the laundry. It was not follow through with it
like he was totally in his own long for a career. He worked
little world of pretend. It was for my grandfather where he
like he was truly in his glory, was known for his laziness.
taking care of the house as a Then he tried his own
woman does. He was living construction business. No
his dream for a few days. matter what he did through
life, he struggled with low
4. Envious of girls. Envious of self esteem. How we are
the way a girl looks. Envious treated by other’s can cause
of the love and attention girls low self esteem. If a child is
receive from males. I truly not ever praised but only
despised the way my dad comes to know the tearing
would comment on how lucky down, that child will come to
I was to be pretty. I despised find a lonely friend known as
the way he would look at my low self esteem.
body as I started to develop
into a young woman. I hated 6. Emotional wounds from as
the way he would just stare early as childhood. Emotional
at my breast. He was envious or physical wounds that are
of me being a girl, something suffered are carried with us
he could never be. I hated through life. It can become a
being a girl around him. As I part of who we are and how
started to date and have we turn out in life. If
boyfriends over he would molesting takes place it is
give a glare that would go devastating to a person. The
right through you. wounds are carried with you
Sometimes the way he through life. If you are
behaved around my mistreated you can carry
boyfriends showed his those wounds for the rest of
enviousness of not being a your life. My dad's emotional
girl going out with a boy. I wounds were carried
could see this in his eyes and throughout his life and the
felt all of this growing up emotional wounds had a
with his attitude. deep seeded root. Perhaps
the root started when my
5. Low self esteem of oneself. dad was molested as a young
boy. He never shared by eyes just how much this
whom. In his last days he addiction had taken a hold of
would put his finger up to his him and had him captive in
lips as if to say "Shhhh" his own prison.
whenever the question was
raised. A man once said, “If a lie is
told long enough it becomes
The book The Masculine Soul the truth.” What truth these
is helpful in understanding words speak. The enemy will
what happens when “boys” try to convince us that we
are not lead into “manhood.” really don’t have a choice.
Every boy needs a father or This is the way you were
father figure who will love born, etc. For those who hear
them and teach them about these false words and tell
the life of being man. Instead themselves over and over
of men teaching their sons to again "I was born this way"
hunt, fish, play sports or really becomes convinced
work on cars the young boys that they are a female or
are pushed more with mom. male when in truth they are
Mom’s do the best they can, not. Satan is an opportunist.
but ultimately our sons need He will take advantage in
a man to help lead the way. every way possible to
enslave someone. His powers
I know my dad never felt he are in generating lies. My
could live up to his father’s pastor recently made the
expectations as a man. My following comment, “When
dad gave up early in his we find Christ and are born
years to even try. It was again Satan's power is lost,
easier for him to escape into BUT his will is not. We will
his fantasy world than to have struggles until we reach
reach out for help and to face heaven.”
the reality of his cross-
dressing addiction. When he Choosing your gender
left our family he had bags identity can be based on
upon bags of clothing someone telling you “You’d
stashed in the garage attic. It make a good girl” or “You
seemed no matter where you should have been born a
went in our home there was girl.” Hearing those words
his stash. Isn’t this what we could haunt someone just
find with someone who is like the comments “You're
addicted to drugs or stupid,” “You're ugly,” “You’re
pornography? The feel good a girl” or even “You’re gay.”
drug is hidden for their fix? The words we speak can
We had seen with our own affect someone’s self image
of themselves. We often what has been shown!
unconsciously accept such We Do not focus! Saying its
judgments as the accurate not so!
truth. Other influences can Yet the search goes on and
bring a reaction to the soul on and on!
and spirit My dad's heart ached
because of what he had lost;
I have written some of my his inner self and his family.
dad’s writings that I had He found incompleteness
found along with his personal with his life as a transsexual.
items after his passing away. My dad continued to search
You be the judge. Does it for peace that he never
sound to you that living this found. You can certainly hear
life is a happy choice our pain from his words. My
loved one makes? If your heart aches to know that my
loved one says he has found dad was so miserable. Life is
happiness in being a woman, so precious. Life is a gift. To
I say they are deceiving know a loved one who is
themselves entirely. living with such turmoil
inside brings you to a hurting
My Heart Aches place for them. As angry and
hurt as we become with our
My heart aches from my loved one, we truly do not
losses! desire them to be in this
From my incompleteness! much pain.
Is this the way it will be?
I am missing something! http://www.help4families.co
Change, change, change m/causes.htm
Always the need to feel
changes Definition of Terms
My heart aches from my
losses! Homosexual
Where am I? One who is attracted to a
Who am I? member of the same gender
All is loss! in erotic, physical and
emotional ways. This person
Searching is trying to connect with a
member of the same sex in
Search our minds! To become order to feel complete and
ourselves! fulfilled. The most credible
Don’t recognize, what’s research indicates that this is
there! not a genetic malady at all,
Don’t recognize, who’s there! but rather a result of
Saying, just not possible! For unresolved childhood
emotional wounds. The Pain
One of the most influential "If God did it, then why
should we resist it? In fact, chain of nuclei in men and
consider it a lovely gift from women's sexual behavior."
the Creator." (Judith Graham, ed., Current
Biography Yearbook, 1996,
The highly-oiled political New York,NY: The HW Wilson
machinery duped the medical Co., 1996), 301.)
community and the
unsuspecting world by this FOUNDATIONAL DECEPTION
deceptive ploy, this hoax.
Eric Pollard, a leading gay
However, after the medical activist, back in some of the
community caught on to his foundational years for gay
deceptions and the political activism countered
government seized his so- any notions that would not
called “ground-breaking support the altered scientific
investigative studies,” it conclusions. He insisted that
became evident he was a naive world-populous
committing a devious, self- would blindly accept and fall
serving fraud. They then for the intentional, deceptive
informed him that he'd best ploy of the self-serving,
recant his position, or be politically-savvy gay activists.
sued for "scientific In The Washington Blade, a
misconduct." (note: you do major pro-gay Newspaper,
the research ; the Eric, a leading contributor of
incriminating evidence is the “Act Up Organization”
abundant). wrote:
You said that you were not But the truth is that the devil
expecting me to give you a has no bargains. “Take what
“formula,” some magical you want, Samson. We can
prescription to provide the settle up later.” One of the
cure-all remedy. Good! Cause devil’s tricks is this: When we
I cannot! All I can do is offer choose evil, usually we get
to you those things that are what we want at once and
helpful to me (and others) in pay for it afterward. When
our ongoing recovery we choose good we have to
process. pay for it first before we get
it. Most of us have found this through all of this stuff. We
out with as simple a matter are in this together. I am
as examinations in school. If anything but perfect or
you chose good grades and a without temptation, but I am
degree with honor, you had learning what it takes to stay
to pay months ago with hard on the right course, doing
study, the giving up of some the correct things, making
pleasure or recreation. But if the right decisions. I am
you chose to have a good always growing in my self
time, you began that long understanding and
ago, and you have had your comprehending more of what
fun. You did not pay then, God has for me, which is
but you are paying now in always good! (Jeremiah
your frantic, last-minute 29:11) I am also incredibly
boning for your exams, and aware of my weaknesses and
your paying is not over yet. vulnerabilities.
There will be further deferred
payments later in your life. With that, I am also daily
committed to traverse this
Make no mistake about it. thing called “recovery,” not
This Evil Personality is very just for myself . . .but for
real and very subtle. He is God’s purposes. And for you.
real to me; I know him well.
He wants to persuade us to I am glad to have you
choose the things that we do walking beside me!
not have to pay for right
away. Usually they are cheap Footnotes: 1. Dr. Boyd Luter,
and sordid things. “You want Looking Back, Moving On,
it,” the devil says. “Charge it. (Colorado Springs: Navpress,
I understand. I’m your 1993), 15. 2. Ibid., 19 3.
friend. Take what you want.” Catherine Marshall, The Best
of Peter Marshall, (New York:
But the bills always come Zondervan Publishing, 1983),
due. And what is more, they 246-247. 4. Ibid., 247-248.
are not all presented to you.
Payments must also be made http://help4families.com/?pa
by those close to you, bound ge_id=290
to you through all eternity by
ties of blood and bonds of
love.4 My Pornography Addiction
The Lord has been doing Tears may fall along the way,
some major renovation in my but it’s a chance I have to
heart. The bottom line is I take.
don’t have a gender identity
problem, for I know exactly For I’ve seen a mockery
who and what I am. I am a made of love, everyone talks
man, I am a child of the but no one does.
living God, I am the
husband, lover, and friend of So I hide my heart upon a
my wonderful wife (Patricia) shelf, to never give to anyone
and most of all I am who God else.
created me to be — namely
ME. To say anything else But I fall apart when I hear
would be a lie. The truth is your words, healing will come
I’ve been a runaway. I have to those who learn.
lived the last forty or so
years trying to be an island Change never comes to those
unto myself. There is a who wait, it’s a chance I have
wonderful song written by to take.
Bill Deaton (and recorded by
Bob Carlisle) that expresses For true joy in living is found
my heart perfectly. only in forgiving, those
who’ve scared you so – let even a burden.
them go, let them go.
In the summer (especially
Now you are asking for my after my mother was
trust that’s been abused so diagnosed with cancer) they
very much. would pack me off to my
grandparents. I adored my
So I give to you the me that grandmother; of all the
breaks — It’s a chance I have people in my childhood I
to take. wanted to be just like her.
She made time for everyone
My Own Reflections: — and maybe even more
importantly (to me) she was
I knew from the time I was a the best cook on the face of
small boy that my mother the planet!!!! I realize now
wished that I had been born that she had qualities I
a girl. I don’t remember her desperately wanted. She was
ever dressing me in girl’s a very loving person; she
clothes — I guess the wish would go out of her way to
itself was enough. My father be kind or helpful. She just
was a very hard worker and seemed to have a personality
worked the strangest hours that you wanted to be
to this day I’ve ever heard of around. It’s not that she
– 1 week of days, 1 week of couldn’t be tough if she had
2nd shift, 1 week of 3rd shift to be. Believe me, if she
and then a week that could handle my grandfather
consisted of 2 day shifts, 2 she could handle anybody!
days of 2nd shifts and a day
of 3rd shift. And he did that My Grandfather on the other
for over 30 years. So he was hand was rather self-
always tired (and a little absorbed and he loved to
cranky). I’m not trying to play mind games.
make excuses for him. When
he didn’t show up for my He would take me fishing
music concerts, my (few) from time to time but the
athletic events, or even my thing he enjoyed the most
wedding day it still hurt me. was scaring the bejebers out
He always seemed to have of me. One of his running
time to play a round of golf gags was to stare at me (just
or listen to a baseball game. a little crazy) and tell me he
But since I was born 10 was going to take his strait-
years after my brother I edge razor and cut my hair
always felt like I was an off in the middle of the night.
accident anyway – perhaps Or that some morning I
would wake-up hanging by The hardest person to forgive
my feet from the ceiling. It in all this mess is of course
gave him great joy to pass — me. Why would anyone
me the butter at the table like, (let alone love), me. If
and just as I was taking it they only saw the mess I’ve
he’d give it a little push and made of my life they would
there would be my thumb in avoid me like typhoid Mary.
the middle of the stick. His Time to refer to the song
favorite game was “hot lyric’s above. Yet amazingly I
hands”– you know where you am very loved. The Lord has
put your hands on top of the proved over and over again
other players hands (palm to how very much He loves me
palm) and you try to move and so has Patricia. If the
your hands out of the way Lord loves me so much why
before the other player flips didn’t he protect me when I
his hands over and slaps was growing up? The simple
yours. My granddad had the truth is — He did and He is.
fastest hands in the world But without pain there is no
and when he slapped you he growth and more importantly
didn’t play around. Many a there is no empathy for the
time my hands were beet red pain of others. The truth is
because I just wasn’t fast the Lord has shaped me for a
enough. My Grandmother purpose and though I may
was always after my not always understand what
Granddad to stop teasing that purpose is I know He
me, but Charley just had an allowed it because He Loves
odd way about him. The me. That’s not just a
funniest (perhaps saddest) platitude or convenient
part of it all is that I’m a lot saying. I know that as
more like my granddad than bedrock truth in my heart. It
my grandmother. But it’s true was not an easy lesson to
that whatever you hate the master but I’m finally seeing
most (and don’t forgive! ) the truth of it.
ends up shaping you more
into its image than you could Not only that but I don’t
ever imagine. want to run away from who I
am anymore. Are there many
So my image of masculinity things to learn and face up to
was not the best, and my — YES! But to be an ”island
image of femininity was unto one’s self “ is a
overly glorified and false. miserable way to live. My
This has led (in my case) to wife and I are finally starting
one screwed up life. to rediscover intimacy — it is
a work in progress. There is
sometimes pain — but there Bob forgive me for taking up
is also great reward! The so much space and time. I
Lord through the Holy Spirit guess I just needed to write
is constantly illuminating my these things down and talk
self-centeredness and my with someone who has been
selfishness. Is it a pleasant (and is going) through the
thing to behold — NO! But I process. I also know I
must allow the Holy Spirit to needed to hear them myself.
deal harshly with these I’m sorry for all the junk and
things. I don’t want to be in hurtful things you have to
charge anymore — I have deal with just to minister to
found through experience the needs of others. Hurt
that it’s really lonely at the people, after all, hurt people.
top. Yet I constantly am blessed
and helped every time I drop
Let me make mention of the by the website. This ministry
house church I attend. I have has been a lifesaver and a
stated, “There are Christian rock to me. I have — and will
people here (including ALL of continue to pray for you and
my pastors) who know about Betty.
my struggles. I belong to a
care-ring of believers as well May God Richly Bless You —
as my regular church yet I Always!
have no real support system
concerning these issues. The Kerry :~)
simple truth is it’s more
reality than most people http://help4families.com/?pa
want to know. Most of the ge_id=412
time they don’t know how to
respond anyway.” The Lord
has been leading me to the Pastoral Oversight of the
conclusion that these are Transsexual
exactly the people the Lord
wants to use to deal with the Shock & Strategic Planning
issues I’m facing. Once
again, this isn’t about gender What approach should you
confusion — I don’t need to (or do you) take when you’re
be convinced that God didn’t the pastor of a member of
make a mistake by making your flock, who wants to
me male. It’s simply about change their birth sex status
living the Christian life — it’s by invasive surgery and
about discipleship, it’s about harmful infusions of
my sanctification for Gods hormones intended only for
purposes. those of the opposite
gender? a woman like me goes
through all her life, knowing
Perhaps the parishioner has that your ‘womanhood’ is
previously met with you to mercilessly trapped within
inform you that he has the frame of a much
already had the sex- despised male body.
reassignment surgery and
now desires your The medical world refers to
understanding, cooperation, people like me as a
(if not total sanction!) … in transsexual, or one
helping the congregants manifesting a ‘gender-
adjust to his new role in identity disorder.’
society.
Since I was three years old I
Do you allow the man who knew that I should have been
presents himself as a female born a girl. Well, I have
to engage in the programs of finally been able to achieve
the women’s outreach of that lifelong dream through
your church? Or, can he … I multiple surgeries and have
mean “she” use the women’s adjusted to my new roles
bathrooms with your wife very well. What I want to ask
and daughters? The old from you and the others on
saying is true: “women know the pastoral staff is that you
women.” They readily discern accept me in my newly-given
that though the person in the gender role and allow me to
red dress looks and acts like attend formal worship
a sister … there is something services, women’s functions,
very, very wrong. How do retreats, and be totally
you protect them, the assimilated within your
innocent children, and even congregation as a fully-
the unsuspecting men from functioning female member. I
the charade of a “wanna-be- will do all I need to become
woman?” … or do you even properly educated in your
engage the subject, in the church doctrines and will
hopes that somehow it will faithfully serve you as any
mend itself? other woman of your parish
does. Is that a problem at
When I presented myself as all?”
a new potential female
church member to my priest, He didn’t even blink as he
Rev. Father John, I didn’t answered, “No, there is no
mince any words. “Father,’ I problem within this
said, “I know that you are congregation with anything
not aware of all the anguish you have shared. We do not
make such matters an issue coming to our church
of concern; for we know that functions dressed in women’s
you belong to God and He is attire? He has actually tried
helping you finally come to a my patience by his blatant,
place of inner-peace with unannounced attendance to
who you were initially our woman’s Sunday School
supposed to be. We do not class. What do I do? What
make issues of one’s chosen can I say without sounding
expression of their sexuality unloving and unsupportive of
or their choice of gender him; but he has placed me in
roles. You are most welcome such an awkward position by
here.” not paving the way by
forewarning me of his recent
He then initiated a warm hug decisions.”
as I got ready to leave. As
we parted, he said, “Be sure Another minister wrote, “Last
to come this Sunday to the week one of the women on
11 o’clock service, so I can my staff informed me that
personally introduce you to she would be leaving the
our visiting Bishop following church because her husband
the service.” The service was is going to have sex
very beautiful, especially reassignment surgery. She is
when receiving the Eucharist taking their two children and
from my own Parish Priest. moving to her parent’s home
Interesting, too, was the fact in another state to get away
that the Bishop’s sermon was from her husband’s influence.
centered upon loving and He says he will pursue equal
embracing those who were custody of their two boys,
struggling to find acceptance and intends to tell them that
by the established Church they now have another
because of their sexual or mother.”
gender orientation.
Another very frustrated
He made it very, very clear minister asked, “What can I
that his own approach was do with my associate
that of Jesus Christ: to love minister, who has just
everyone and not condemn confessed he is chronically
anyone. involved in cross-dressing
and parading himself in the
Recently a minister asked, public as a woman. What is
“I’m wondering what it is there I can do besides
that I can do to help Stan, a dismissing him?”
parishioner and very good
personal friend, who is now A more than distraught
pastor inquired, “Last week a victim. The popular cultural
nice couple came into my endorsements and the
office for pre-marital Medical Communities “blind-
counseling. They have been leading-the-blind”
attending our church for legitimization of applying
several months . Jack tells surgical means to correct a
me that he is really a she mental illness, is
and that she is really a he – preposterous at best! The
that they both have switched surgical intervention taking
their sexual and gender roles place today is nothing more
in order to fit into a more than what I refer to as “the
satisfying marriage. frontal lobotomy of the
twenty-first century.”
They both claim they are
supposed to have been One male to female
created the other sex. They transsexual exposes the
want me to perform their Truth in a letter:
marriage ceremony. Good
grief! What do I do?” “Don’t be surprised if your
case-load increases
I do not know many pastors dramatically. The long-held
or clinical care-givers who traditional screening methods
would profess they know how for candidates for ‘sex-
to handle these kinds of reassignment surgery’ (SRS)
problems. Seminary and continues to deteriorate as
University training does not so-called transsexuals
adequately prepare students themselves take over the
to redemptively minister Mental Health Organizations
truth and grace to people and their heavily biased
exhibiting gender and sexual promotional literature. Even
identity problems. the main screening methods
of the Dr. Harry Benjamin’s
A pastor or care-giver is one International Gender
who has the tremendous task Dysphoric Association is now
of helping hurting people to made up of more
find peace with themselves transgendered individuals
and God; and to live a more than ever before. The truth is
purposeful life. The great that the majority of the
dilemma today is the literature which guides the
misinformation, if not all-out- Medical/Psychiatric
blatant misrepresentations of Community in these matters
Truth, which leaves the is composed by the
afflicted parishioner transgendered population.
characterized as a poor Mainstream psychology and
psychiatry has been led to everyone to his own way.” (Is
believe that psychotherapy 53:6)
and pharmacology have little
or nothing to say about this And let’s not forget Mark’s
condition by way of helping injunction that certain
to change a patient’s behaviors make a man
orientation. unclean. Some of them are:
evil thoughts, sexual
They firmly attest that this immorality, theft, murder,
anomaly can only be “fixed” adultery, greed, malice,
or “changed” through deceit, lewdness, envy,
surgical and replacement slander, arrogance and
hormonal therapy.” foolishness. Take a casual
look into the transsexual
Romans 1:25 clearly states Internet Website to see how
that it is common for humans each of these defiling
to “exchange the truth of behaviors and attitudes are
God with a lie.” manifested. Then ask the
transsexual person how
Stop and think this through. many of the above-
Can you think of any other mentioned behaviors have
medical condition in which become a part of their lives.
the patient determines their Their response, if they are
own diagnosis and then honestly forthcoming, will be
explains the recommended quite an eye-opener!
treatment plan to the
physician? Why has the BASIC DEFINITIONS:
Medical/Psychiatric
Communities so completely TRANSVESTISM (across
acquiesced in their clothing lines)
acceptance of the “one-size-
fits-all-mentality?” Could it “A condition in which sexual
be that they are playing God arousal and eventual
by performing surgery (or orgasmic pleasure is derived
mutilating viable human flesh by dressing in the clothes of
& skin-folds) in order to the opposite sex. It can occur
provide a remedy to what in both homosexuality and
otherwise is a hopeless heterosexuality. It is
condition to remedy? characterized by a
momentary desire to dress
At the core the real issue was like and be accepted as a
so well described years ago: member of the opposite
“All we like sheep have gone gender in order to escape the
astray; we have turned present reality and relieve
emotional tensions. It is of the opposite sex. Members
usually done within the of the same sex hold the
privacy of one’s own home emotional connection to
and remains a most private one’s feeling genuinely loved
and well-hidden fantasy life.” due to the other’s same sex
love needs being unmet.”
TRANSGENDER /
TRANSSEXUAL (going across GENDER IDENTITY
established Gender Lines)
“Gender refers to one’s
“A condition in which one genetic sex, male or female,
feels inwardly incongruent in which is irreversibly fixed at
his/her God-given gender the moment of conception by
role or sexual identity. the pairing of the 23rd, or
Eventual attempts are sex-determining
usually made to finally chromosomes (XX or XY.
‘correct the anatomical Hence gender is biologically
mistake’ through increasing determined and can be
episodes of cross-dressing, discerned by the 5th week of
ingestion of hormones of the pregnancy by a simple blood
opposite sex, and eventual test. Identity is more
submission to irreversible attributed to psychological
surgical alteration of their causes, or the product of
body and its secondary sex how one views themselves as
characteristics; such as the a male or female. Put
removal of breasts from the another way, a male is
female-to-male, or the male always a male and a female
genitals from the male-to- is always going to be a
female transsexual. He will female, no matter what
also most usually have disfiguring surgery may
bilateral breast implants so occur. The psychological
he can more readily be process wherein a person
identified as a woman.” identifies more strongly with
one sex or the other is
HOMOSEXUALITY (Same-sex typically completed by the
attractions) third year of life.”
Do not miss the point! If I Your web site has been very
had not kept my mouth shut, helpful to me. One of our
this lady and I would never pastors and I (Director of
have connected. Women’s Ministries) are
needing your help if possible!
Peter Marshall said, “There I’ll give you a brief synopsis
are aspects of the gospel and pray the LORD will give
that are puzzling and difficult you insight as to how we can
to understand. But our best help:
problems are not centered
around the things we don’t “Jack dressing as Jill”.
understand, but rather in the
things we do understand. Jack is a transsexual who has
This, after all, is but an been attending our church
illustration of the fact that this past year. (Man dressing
our problem is not so much as a woman). No matter how
that we don’t know what we Jack dresses, he looks like a
should do. We know perfectly man (6’5” and heavy beard).
well, but we don’t want to do Several churches in town
it.” have asked him to leave. We
have been extending grace
Is it possible that what many and welcoming him to the
Christians do not want to do following: main church
is … love? services, singles ministry and
our women’s evening bible
Jesus said “…all men will studies. We have set firm
know that you are my boundaries with designating
disciples, if you love one a low use woman’s
another.” (John 13:35) bathroom, not attending
college group (he is 38 years allow Jack to attend. We
old), and not attending our typically resource women
Women’s Fitness Plus with severe problems to a
Exercise Classes. These support group or mentoring
reasons have been explained partner, so they ask, why are
to Jack: too old for college, we allowing Jack to disrupt
and women’s/girls sensitivity things? Good question. Jack
issues. We do not know if he believes the sermons and
has had surgery or not. singles group sermons are
over his head (that’s why he
BOUNDARIES/DECENCY likes college). However, our
women’s studies are very in
We are frustrated in that Jack depth as well. We have
continues to violate the offered to him a small group
boundaries (i.e.: restroom basic seeker study, but he
use, going to the college doesn’t really want that
group, talking about either. Many of our ideas are
inappropriate sexual things in rejected. The pastor I
prayer groups). He shows up mentioned has been very
late, is inconsistent in good in extending grace and
attendance in all the yet holding Jack accountable.
aforementioned activities we He had the bathroom/college
have invited him to. When he talk with him this week,
does attend, he often gets up again. I would be willing to
during bible studies and meet with him for a seeker
moves to the front or leaves study, but is that the best
early. place for him?
I know one day the Lord is going to restore everything to right and He has given believers
such as myself new light, hope and optimism for a very bright future.
As Charles Spurgeon said: “If thou receive not His perfect, unrivalled blood-washing, thou art
no Christian. Whatever be thy profession, whatever thy supposed experience, whatever thy
reformation, whatever thou mayst have attempted or accomplished, if thou hast never come
as a guilty one, and seen thy sin laid upon the bleeding Son of God, thou art in the gall of
bitterness and in the bond of iniquity. ... Without faith in the atonement thou canst have no part
in Christ” (C.H.S., Sermons, 16, 220 & 223).
It is my prayer that you know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and the love He has for you.
Beck
265
Help 4 Families Ministry
P.O. Box 755
Waynesville, NC 28786
266