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When I Die!!!
One Marine’s Battles with both life....”
 And Death
”
 A Soldier’s Prayer 
God our Father,Help me to remain true to my idealsduring my service to my country.Help me to realize that I representwhat our country stands for.My uniform is a symbol of duty and valorboth in peace and in war.I take up arms to defend what all Americans hold dear:life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.Grant me the strength to live according to these ideals,the courage of my convictions,and the resolve to endure whatever dangers threaten.With you at our side, I fear no eviland resist every enemy,secure in the knowledgethat you hold me in the palm of your hand.AmenAuthor: Unknown
We drove through the gate of our new company area. I had been in country for about three weeks and so far things had been really slack. We got off the trucks and went in to the tent to check out our new home. It was just like all the rest; dirty green canvas, plywood floors, canvas cots and no “air-conditioning”.We were in the process of putting our gear away when the call came. It was a dreadful, and soon to be very familiar, sound; “reactionary up
@
. A patrol had been ambushed! We grabbed our gear and made our way as quickly as possible toward the ambush site. As we approached the area, we began to draw fire from a sugar cane field on our right. The only cover available was a twelve inch rice paddy dike on our left, so we gladly took 
 
what we had and returned fire. Two men had already been wounded and it didn
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t look good for the rest of us. The fire power on both sides wasimmense. The whine of the bullets flying overhead and the noise from the M-60 machine guns, M-14 rifles, grenade launchers and rockets from theHueys all contributed to the confusion. I was scared, but, so was everyone else. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it was over. The enemy had broken contact.We lay there for a few moments, still unsure if it was safe to move but, we had wounded to care for, a perimeter to secure and a patrol to finish. Itwas then that I knew, it was going to be a long thirteen months.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall directthy paths.” Proverbs 3;5-6
********************I was born in a sleepy little town in the mountains of Western North Carolina. It was then, and still is now, one of the most beautiful places thatI
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ve ever seen. We didn
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t have many recreational activities available when I was growing up. There was the movie theater. It only had onescreen and usually showed the same movie for three or four days before changing. Friday nights were reserved for the ball games. Football or  basketball, it didn
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t matter, the school spirit was strong, so everyone supported the team. We also had a local pool room. You wouldn
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t find therich kids, or the jocks, or the National Honor Society members hanging out there. Since I didn
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t belong to any of those groups, I fit right in. Therest of the time, we had to invent ways to amuse ourselves.The area that I lived in was an industrial
A
Disney Land
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to a 12 year old boy. We had two abandoned feldspar processing plants with all theequipment still inside; a perfect place for hide and seek. There were two large settling tanks containing water and clay in each plant and a catwalk that extended from one side to the other. Our favorite pastime consisted of dropping large rocks off the catwalk into the wet clay and watching themslowly sink to the bottom. The thought never occurred to us that a small boy would probably sink just as fast as those rocks. There were three large bodies of water in our community, (mine holes) as we called them, that we found to be very refreshing on a hot summer day. These were supposedto be off limits, but a young boy
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s curiosity will usually win out even under threat of punishment. We also had two feldspar mines that were in fulloperation. That, in itself, wasn
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t too exciting until we found out that they left the keys in the ignition of all their trucks and equipment when theyleft for the day. Naturally, we had to try our luck at handling the big rigs even if they did belong to someone else. This proved to be quite anadventure until a delayed blast went off at the mine one afternoon while we were still there. Needless to say, this got our attention, but not one of usreceived so much as a scratch. It never occurred to any of us just how dangerous our playgrounds really were. We were young and adventurous. Wecould travel to the bottom of a mine shaft, play on the railroad tracks, swim wherever we chose, hang out in abandoned buildings, play in workingrock quarries or just sit in a tunnel under the mine access road and listen to the loaded trucks pass overhead. At those times we felt invincible!My thirst for adventure grew as I got older and so did my thirst for something else. I discovered alcohol in my sophomore year in high school,and I liked it. I was riding with some friends who had beer and they offered me some. That was my first time to ever get high and I knew that itwouldn
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t be my last. Just a short while after that incident, I was invited by a friend to a special school function for band members. I wasn
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t in the band, but the members where told that they could bring a friend, so I was invited. By the time we arrived at the party, we were drunk. The banddirector, who also happened to be my home room teacher, threatened us with expulsion, and also threatened to notify our parents. That really scaredme. I couldn
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t imagine what my dad would do if I was expelled, much less for drinking. Little did I know that I would soon find out. I drank at ballgames and at any other social function where it was available.
 
I looked for every opportunity that I could find to get alcohol. I didn
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t have my drivers license yet so transportation was a real problem. I had toeither walk or hitch hike every where that I went. This turned out to be a real bonus for me. I discovered that a lot of the whisky bottles found lying beside the road still had some whisky left in it and I would drink what ever I could find.I grew up in a Christian home. My parents prayed with us each night and took us to church regularly. Still, my life was going in a differentdirection than theirs. I got my drivers license when I turned sixteen. This opened up a whole new world for me. I loved the independence that I felt. Icould go where I wanted, do what I wanted and stay as long as I wanted. I never stopped to realize that along with this new found freedom cameresponsibility. The only thing that I felt responsible for at this time was finding new ways to get high. I was still living at home, going to school,working at night and partying as often as possible. I never studied or did my homework and got in trouble constantly for cutting class or skippingschool all together. I was on probation most of the last two years of high school because of my skipping school but I really didn
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t care, and, just asI feared, I was expelled.I wasn
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t expelled for drinking, but for truancy. I was told to stay home for two weeks and to bring my dad back with me when I did come back.I was scared! I had both seen and felt my dad
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s temper. I knew that there was only one thing to do, so the very next day, I told him. His reactionwas a total surprise. He just looked at me. You could see the hurt in his eyes, and in a tone that was very much out of character for my dad, he saidsoftly,
A
I
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ll talk to the principle Monday
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. And that was that! I was reinstated and nothing changed. I continued to skip class and I continued todrink. I didn
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t think at all about my future. The future just wasn
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t important to me. I had more important things to take care of in the present!********************It was hot and dry. The Asian sun beat down on us and the low scrub brush of that Vietnamese hill side didn’t offer much shade. We were only afew hours into our patrol. We had a good man on point. He had not been in country much longer than I had, but he was very observant and everyonetrusted him to lead.The trail continued to wind around the hill until we finally reached the top and started across the ridge line. It wasn’t very high. You could see theVietnamese working in the rice paddies below with their water buffalos. This was comforting because we knew that if we were going to beambushed, the villagers would all be in hiding and the animals would be locked in their pens.We continued down the trail. Suddenly, from the front, we heard the point call out for some one to halt and then came the sound of an M16 beingfired. The point had seen a young man running down the trail with what looked like a rifle and had open fire. The man dropped. We all took off running and when we got to him we realized that he was severely wounded, but still alive. We also discovered something else. It wasn’t a man. Itwas a child, approximately 10 to 12 years old and he didn’t have a gun. It was a stick. The point had no way of knowing that.Our squad leader called the incident in to the Company Commander and we were told in no uncertain terms that a Med-Evac was out of thequestion and to “deal” with the situation. The young boy was suffering. I stood there just a few feet from him and I could see the pain in his face.Then, just as though someone had thrown a switch, his breathing stopped. I stood there in shock. Just a few weeks earlier I was in a civilized world,having supper with my parents and watching “The Andy Griffith Show” on TV. Now I’m on the other side of the world watching children die. Willthis nightmare ever end?
“Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek andlowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls” Matthew 11;28-29
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