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The Worst Girlfriend in the World by Sarra Manning, Chapter One

The Worst Girlfriend in the World by Sarra Manning, Chapter One

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Published by Little Brown UK
Alice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold.

But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing.

But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years.

She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls.

So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy.

They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London.

Can true friendship conquer all?
Alice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold.

But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing.

But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years.

She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls.

So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy.

They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London.

Can true friendship conquer all?

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Published by: Little Brown UK on Mar 25, 2014
Copyright:Traditional Copyright: All rights reserved

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09/02/2014

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‘Right, so after you’ve nicked a traffic cone, you need to climbon top of the bus shelter and leave it there, along with one per-sonal item. First one to complete the mission gets an amazingprize.’Alice stood there, her hands on her hips, blonde hair rip-pling in the breeze – though it seemed to ripple even whenthere wasn’t a breeze, it was that kind of hair. It was obviousthat
 she
was the amazing prize.It was a Saturday night and we were hanging out on the HighStreet, though Merrycliffe-on-Sea doesn’t really have much of a High Street, just a forlorn parade of shops. It doesn’t havemuch merry either, so we have to make our own fun. As wewere both too broke to go to The Wow, watching Alice ensnaretwo lame boys and make them do her bidding was as good asit was going to get.
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‘I wonder how long they’ll be,’ I said to Alice, after the boyshad trooped off on their quest to prove they were worthy of her.‘Want a chip?’Alice sat down next to me on the low wall in front of the bet-ting shop and shoved her hand in the grease-soaked bag of chips that one of the boys had bought for me because Alice hadtold him to.Soon all that was left were the crispy bits floating in anacidic slick of vinegar. Alice looked up at the big, navy skystudded with pinpricks of starry light and ominous wisps of cloud. ‘I think it’s going to rain,’ she said. ‘If they’re not backin five minutes, we might as well go home.’‘Next week, we have to go to The Wow.’ This week, I’d lentmy mum thirty quid because she hadn’t got to the bank. Italways took her ages to repay me too, not until I’d droppedbrick-sized hints for at least a week about illegally benefitingoff child labour.‘How long does it take to nick a traffic cone anyway?’ Aliceasked me. ‘I hope they haven’t got into trouble. Like the timeMarc got caught trying to steal a wire basket from outside thepound shop, remember?’‘Don’t be mean,’ I said as Alice hooted, but I started laugh-ing too because Marc from Year 12 trying to bomb it down theseafront with a wire basket and two security guards in hot pur-suit had been one of the highlights of the summer before last.In the end, to get rid of the evidence, he’d thrown the basketon top of the mini-golf ticket office where it remained to this day.‘Do you remember the security guards trying to find a ladder to
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get their stupid basket back? Then they decided that theycouldn’t climb it because of Health and Safety regulations.’‘And Marc didn’t get arrested . . . ’‘And he turned out to be quite a good snog so it was all OK.’Alice gave me one of her sideways smiles, her little snub nosetwitching, eyebrow arched. It was the look that had all the boysbringing their milkshakes, fries and extra ketchup to Alice’syard.Talking of which, limping down the road with only one of histrainers on was Chris, or was it Joey? He was holding a trafficcone aloft like it was an Olympic gold medal.‘I don’t think this one is going to be a keeper,’ Alice mur-mured, like that was anything new. ‘But he’ll do for the next tenminutes.’She stood up, still tiny even in her five-inch heels. Alicewas small and curvy. In ye olde days they’d have called her apocket Venus. Boys wanted to protect her as much as theywanted to get with her. She had the previously mentionedripply blonde hair and huge blue eyes that twinkled whenever she said something suggestive, which was all the time. It waslike Alice came with an inbuilt nudge and wink as standardfeatures.Like she said, ‘If we weren’t best friends until the day wedie, then you’d probably hate my guts, Franny.’But I couldn’t remember a time when Alice and I weren’tbest friends. We’d met at a Mother and Baby group; there’s pho-tographic evidence of us in nappies and a gummy, smileyembrace and barely a thing had happened to me, from losing
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