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92 Reasons to Hate Twilight

92 Reasons to Hate Twilight

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Published by chewie14
To start off, I'd just like to say that I have absolutely nothing against Twilight or Stephanie Meyer, so I don't want any of you Twilight fanatics attacking me. I just thought this was really funy and would like to share. Enjoy!
To start off, I'd just like to say that I have absolutely nothing against Twilight or Stephanie Meyer, so I don't want any of you Twilight fanatics attacking me. I just thought this was really funy and would like to share. Enjoy!

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Published by: chewie14 on Oct 23, 2009
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05/19/2013

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92 Reasons to Hate Twilight 
** I’ve got nothing against Twilight, I just thought this was really funny. ** 
Bella is a perfect character ("Mary Sue"), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.She can't do anything without Edward.And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.The books aren't well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn't make it good writing.All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will waitfor their Edward to come until they are old. And he'll never come.Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it's natural to them.The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.If Bella is so 'plain', why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for womeneverywhere, who have fought for equality.Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.Lack of character development.Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.It's too cliché.This book contains no real sex, so it's not really a vampire novel.Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.You don't have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward's 'perfectly toned chest' thefourth time she mentions it.
 
Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of "Show, don't tell"?She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it's supposedly about vampire.Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.Supposedly Meyer never uses the word 'said' in the entire first book, instead using breath.There is too much face touching.It's predictable, and childish.We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.Meyer can't think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of twonames and doesn't count.Vampires can't get people pregnant. SPOILER!Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.People think Meyer is the best writer ever.The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.Wow, yet another 'original' plot of forbidden love.Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them nodevelopment.Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don't realize the book is terrible.Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can't write 'worth a darn'.It's stupid.Bella.Bella is Edward's beard.Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.Straight men sparkle?It's teeming with grammatical errors.Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
 
Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.Do any guys actually like Twilight?If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was avampire" on the back cover.There's far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.They only love each other because she smells good and he's hot. There's no other given reason why.It's just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.Edward is HOT. We get it.She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.There's something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as..."What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!"And this..."do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? youshouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet."And this..."you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of thisart.....YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!"Isn't funny how Twilight fans can't spell and use proper capitalization? By the way, 61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.The reason Edward can't read Bella's mind is because she doesn't have one.T. Pain would totally win Bella's heart and beat up Edward because he's on a boat.Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she's got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.Vampires vs. werewolves (isn't that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the 'cool vampire powers'they gained from reading the series. Awesome!Even if you like the book, it doesn't live up to its hype.

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Kalyani Rajshree added this note
i agree with only some of ur reasons bt the others are lame like u r just dragging it to make it enough to post it on the internet
Liana Lupascu added this note
so funny:))
1 hundred reads
1 thousand reads
Jessica Sanmartin Limes added this note
I agree that Meyer breaks the rules, but I believe that can be a good thing if done correctly. If you are going to push the envelope, then you really need to have a good standing to do so; or at least a clear idea. I think that she had some ideas that were good, but the execution was less than perfect. The flow of the story telling was choppy and she contradicted herself even on the characters.
Daiana Jean Louis added this note
BEING A LOVER OF TWILIGHT I DISAGREE WITH THIS. BUT THIS WRITER SURE IS A GOOD CRITIC. i LOVE THE MOVIE TWIGHLIGHT JUST BECAUSE IT'S POPULAR WHY DOES THERE ALWAYS SEEM TO BE THOSE WHO FEEL AS IF GOING AGAINST IT IS COOL? OR IT'S BEING SINSIBLE AND INTELLIGENT? iIT'S FICTION THEREFOR IF THE AUTHOR DECIDES HER VAMPIRES SHOULD SPARKLE IN THE SUN THEN SO BE IT , IT'S STILL HER CREATION ........
JayBi95 added this note
Finnally someone with the same thougths as me! I seriously tried to read "twilight" but guess what? I read the first two chapters and i found it boring. Lucky me that i didn't spend my money in that rubbish! What annoys me the most about the twilight fever is the fact that the fans dare to consider Stephenie Meyer as equal as Anne Rice or J.K Rowling!
Al added this note
is reading about the most dangerous people in your child's life, Here is a book with over 10,000 hits. Free and complete: Teacher Teacher .
Abhijeet Mukesh added this note
hehehehahahahaaha...:)
YekitaS liked this

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