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92 Reasons to Hate Twilight 
** I’ve got nothing against Twilight, I just thought this was really funny. ** 
Bella is a perfect character ("Mary Sue"), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.She can't do anything without Edward.And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.The books aren't well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn't make it good writing.All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will waitfor their Edward to come until they are old. And he'll never come.Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it's natural to them.The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.If Bella is so 'plain', why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for womeneverywhere, who have fought for equality.Isn't it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn't question her? Real parents aren't that way.Lack of character development.Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.It's too cliché.This book contains no real sex, so it's not really a vampire novel.Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.You don't have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward's 'perfectly toned chest' thefourth time she mentions it.
 
Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of "Show, don't tell"?She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it's supposedly about vampire.Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.Supposedly Meyer never uses the word 'said' in the entire first book, instead using breath.There is too much face touching.It's predictable, and childish.We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.Meyer can't think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of twonames and doesn't count.Vampires can't get people pregnant. SPOILER!Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.People think Meyer is the best writer ever.The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.Wow, yet another 'original' plot of forbidden love.Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?It's too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them nodevelopment.Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don't realize the book is terrible.Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can't write 'worth a darn'.It's stupid.Bella.Bella is Edward's beard.Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.Straight men sparkle?It's teeming with grammatical errors.Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
 
Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.Do any guys actually like Twilight?If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character's identity, don't slap "First, Edward was avampire" on the back cover.There's far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.They only love each other because she smells good and he's hot. There's no other given reason why.It's just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.Edward is HOT. We get it.She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.There's something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as..."What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!"And this..."do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? youshouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet."And this..."you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of thisart.....YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!"Isn't funny how Twilight fans can't spell and use proper capitalization? By the way, 61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.The reason Edward can't read Bella's mind is because she doesn't have one.T. Pain would totally win Bella's heart and beat up Edward because he's on a boat.Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she's got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.Vampires vs. werewolves (isn't that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the 'cool vampire powers'they gained from reading the series. Awesome!Even if you like the book, it doesn't live up to its hype.
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lostjacobsteam

Thank you for making this!

reply04 / 15 / 2012
Samia Khan

i've read both twilight and harry potter,i like both, and think that comparing them with each other will be very idiotic. One is love story with fantasy, and the second one is fantasy with some love story. I also thing that only people who are so angry with this series will like this post, otherwise it is full of meaningless points and most of them are idiotic. you should make them clear first.

reply03 / 24 / 2012
Maggie Molisso

How could anyone possibly stomach the series? I read it, and weeped for humanity. I know Twitards that think SMeyer is better than Shakespeare. *bangs head on wall repeatedly*

reply03 / 10 / 2012
Duckfarmer

You are entitled to your opinion, but you do have some good points.

reply03 / 05 / 2012
Anna Harris

you should just take your opinion and suck it in your pillow ! how great is it that you have the time to gave a great critic about someone else but not to yourself . you should have not put your envy ahead of you just because stephanie meyer is a good author not like you , pity yourself . take a good look of yourself at the mirror before you decide to talk bad things about someone else ...

reply01 / 07 / 2012
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