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# Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up and manwants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him and says: Pay you monthly, youbastard!# Ladies Hostel Caught Fire... It took 1 hour to bring the fire undercontrol...and 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.# One car salesmen complained to the other, "Business sucks. If I don't sell morecars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass."Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, heapologized for his bad language."That's okay," the blonde replied, "If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm goingto lose my fucking car."# Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch heranywhere he likes?A: Lifebuoy.# Q: How do we know men invented maps?A: Who else would turn an inch into a mile!# 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!# Husband: I fancy kinky sex, how about I cum in your ear?Wife: No, I might go deaf!Husband: I have been cumin in ur mouth for 15 years & ur still fuckin talking.# Little gypsy girl: Which way do my knickers go?Her Mom: How many fucking more times do I have to tell you yellow to the front &brown to the back!# Tarzan and Jane came to New York and were being interviewed.A reporter said: Tarzan, what is your wife's name?Tarzan replied: Jane.The reporter then said: No, what is her whole name?Tarzan answered: Pussy.# Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives? DrinKING,LicKING,SucKING,F*cKING,W*nKING !# Women are like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them,when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, peoplelaugh at you.

# A man meets a lady at a bar and says: Hi, what' ur name?She replies: Carman, coz I like cars & I like men, what's urs?Man replies: Beer cunt!# Banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana turns 2 vibrator Idon't know why you are fuckin shaking, she's goin 2 eat me!# Customer: Excuse me, but how can this tiny little hand bag cost so much?Cashier: It`s made of foreskin madam, when u lick it, it becomes a suit case!# After great sex, she lies there stroking his penis.He asks: Do you want more sex?She says: No. Just admiring your penis. I used to have one just like it.# A gal tells her Doctor: I've got a bad discharge.He fingers her & says hows it feel?

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Gal: Very nice, but the discharge is in my ear.# The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating, but only 10%enters the female, and you wondered why the sea tasted so Fu*kin salty!# A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits down onthe chair and spreads her legs wide open."You must have made a mistake," says the shocked dentist, "The gynecologist'soffice is one level higher."To that the lady replies, "No mistake, you installed my husband's dentures lastweek, now you'll be the one getting them out."# These two fags were doing what comes unnaturally when they were disturbed by apoliceman.They ran and hid in an alley. The policeman searched and eventually found one ofthem.He told him, "when I catch your boyfriend I'm going to shove this nightstick rightup his ass."Just then a voice from a nearby dustbin called, "I'm over here officer!"# A man walked briskly into the drug store, went over to the pharmacist and said:I would like a box of Sex-Lax.The pharmacist smiled and replied: You must mean Ex-Lax."No," the man responded: I don't have any trouble going.# A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in apermission slip in order to take it.A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the

course as long as there's no homework."# What's the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra.One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.# "It was just a simple misunderstanding, your honor," testified the man chargedwith indecent exposure."Explain that statement!" demanded the judge."Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what Iwanted most in a woman, so I showed her."# The boss went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around withthe waitress?""Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.The boss replied, "Good, then you fire her!"# An eight-year-old kid swaggered into the lounge and demanded of the barmaid,"Give me a double Scotch on the rocks.""What do you want to do, get me in trouble?" the barmaid asked."Maybe later," the kid said. "Right now, I just want the Scotch."# Q: If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, whatdo gynecologists get?A: Tunnel vision.# Sex is good, sex is fine. Doggy style or 69. Just 4 fun or getting paid,everyone loves getting laid. So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text meback.# One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!# 'Great, just what I need,' she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven.'One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.'# Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, then what's anunmarried woman called?A: Center Fresh.# To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in betweenthem if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know!# Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.