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It's Not Just the Plumbing That's Different

It's Not Just the Plumbing That's Different

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Women and men are both plumbed and hard-wired differently, so they have different ways of both coping and communicating.
Women and men are both plumbed and hard-wired differently, so they have different ways of both coping and communicating.

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Published by: Dr. Cheryl Bryantbruce, M.D. on Oct 24, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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11/25/2009

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It’s Not Just the Plumbing That’s Different!By Dr. Cheryl Bryantbruce, M.D. This evening as I watch my partner drive off, seeking solitude insteadof my companionship, as he grapples over a stressful circumstance, Iam reminded that it is not just the plumbing that is the differencebetween women and men. As I stand at the door feeling a bit tearyand rejected, I remind myself that there isn’t any trouble in paradiseand that it is not about me. I force myself to remember that men andwomen are just hardwired differently. He calls home a short timelater, each of us is grateful for the understanding of the other.Call me a feminist, because I wholeheartedly believe that men andwomen were created equal. That doesn’t negate the fact however thatAdam aint just like Eve. Be it “Intelligent Design” or Evolution a realsense of humor was at work here. (Work with me on this one, because Iam not arguing for or against the existence of God. Not only were menand women given different plumbing, they were given differenthardwiring, so that at times it is like a MAC trying to talk to a PC,before the advent of compatible programming. Studies are showingthat men and women have very different coping styles (remember thisis a generalization, because within both sexes there will always besome members who respond more like members of the opposite sex).When stressed, the emotional response of men tends more towardsolitude. Men withdraw into themselves. They are more likely tobehave like cave bears or engage in activities and behaviors totallyunrelated to the situation at hand, until such a time that they feel likecoping with the situation at hand. Men can also be likened to owls.When an owl injures itself, it finds itself a dark hole in a tree and goesinto a vegetative state in solitude until it has healed itself. A man maygo to a bar and drink alone. He is unlikely to run to his BFF to unloadhis emotional bucket; although after a few cold ones at the bar, he justmight spill to the bartender. If he does seek out the companionship of a friend, it usually won’t be discussing the issue at hand, but ratheravoiding it like the plague. He hasn’t forgotten the issue. He’s juststoking his emotional chimney to be better able to deal with it when heis ready to do so.Women, on the other hand, are hard-wired to seek the companionshipof other women when they are stressed (either that or a bucket of icecream). A woman is very likely to seek out her BFF and pour out all of her troubles. She is programmed to want to talk things out, verballyworking through her emotions. She doesn’t need a solution, just to beheard. She is more likely to have not just called one friend, but to havesought the comfort and/or counsel of a few close friends. Women are

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