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Tenzer's

1Vatt:rwa1!g ~\'O}~et ~ubHeaUl)n

Barbara Fisher & .. Richard Spiegel

, Co-directors

Scriveners

Rudy Rodriguez Tony Hernandez ASHSStafT

Thomas Perry C.U.N.Y. Intern

Stephen E. Phillips, Superintendent Office of Alternative High Schools and Programs

Shell a Evans-Tranum Program DIrector Auxilliary ServIces for High Schools

Margaret Wade-Bing Assistant Principal CurrIculum Development

Keith L. Honeywell Acting Administrator

Tenzer Learning Center

CD 1991 The Waterways Project ofTen Penny Players, Inc. Support for the Waterways Project Is provided by participating schools, the New York State Council on the Arts, the Office of Alternative High Schools and Programs and HarperColllns, Publishers

contents

Sbakla Riley

Freddie

Blmari RamoS

Ray Hernandez Sillda

Betty

Gregory Dean Anonymous Sborty~ln~the-Mlddle

Tracey Jones Willens Reglstre "She~Ra

Joanne

LisaJ.

William" Alexander Radamus Rosado DlonMcCoy

Fleming Mathews. Jr.

/

3

4

5

6,16

7

8 9~11.28 12.23,24 13~14 15

17

18

19

20 21~22 25

26

27

1\I.I:y PERFUJ.\IXE Shakia Riley

My perfume, your cologne. In your house. At my home. You kiss me,

I klss you.

We make love,

All night through. My love,

Your desIre.

Our love is like flames of fire.

Your cologne,

Stopping my every move. Broke my every

decent thought.

Putting me in the groove. Thoughts of kIssing, I-lugging

and sexually loving.

I know my mind shouldn't Dwell so far,

But It's Just

Because of your cologne, Drakkar.

I lrnow my mInd shouldn't Dwell on the past.

I lrnow my mmd couldn't Race so fast:

I know my mind wouldn't Let the thought even last. I know my mind didn't. That thought

could've been banned.

Which leads »

to the question, Why did my mind KJ.ll that man?

Why did my mind Ifill that man?

Was It done by Instinct? Was It done by plan?

It could not have been done By technology;

Could not have been done With tricks.

How dId my mind Klll that man?

Not knowing, Leaves me in a fix.

3

DR.E.A.1VI: GIR.L Freddie

I had a dream abou t a girl. I've have never met her before.

She was short, #

with lIght skin

and very good looking. I come to find out

that same girl In my dreams happens to be In my class,

This glrllooked ten Urnes better than the girl In my dreams.

In my dreams I always get the girl. ThIs Is surely not a dream anymore. ThIs girl has

a very bright sense of humor. a beautiful smile

and really seems to like me. I hope I don't do anything to mess up with her.

It's a little strange.

I have never

really understood girls too well. Most girls that look good usually don't want

to talk to many young men. I don'tlmow why

It seems that way to me.

She shocked the hell out of me. Today I'm feelIng good

about myself

because my dream came out very well and my lIfe Is following that same path.

4

X LoVE You Bin:a.ari Ran:a.os

A heart is not a play thing A heart is not a toy,

But jfyou want it broken, Just gIve it to a boy.

Boys love to play with things

To see what makes them run,

But when it comes to a lovely girl

They do it Just for fun.

Boys never give their hearts away. They think that gtrls are fools.

They wait until we give them our hearts And then they play it cool.

Each time we have a chance to meet My heart begins to dance,

Your heart revolves around me There's nothing but romance.

I search my mind for a word or two That means the same as I love you.

I rock my brains and search my heart,

But these are the only three that fit the part.

#

5

i

~

.,

i

,

X TOLD You I LoVED You Ray Hernandez

I told you I loved you. I told you I cared. And sUll you went And broke my heart, Leaving me alone

In the dark

Running in Circles

Not knowing where to slop. For a whlle I sat and wondered What happened to my lover, Away from my arms

And into another

Thalin tlme became her lover, Keeping her happy wIth respect But all the tlme he wanted sex To use her.

All I wanted was to please her, To keep her safe in every way, Safe away from guys that play Just to reach fame

With their love games.

When she awakens

And sees he's fakin',

She wtllreallze

The big mistake.

6

1

1\IIy EXPERIENCE VV"~LE X·~ PREGNANT SUkia

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was sad and happy. Sad because I never planned for it to happen and happy because it was the beginning of a new'hfe. I told my family and they were pleased. When I decided to tell my boyfriend, he wasn't as happy as I thought he would be.

At first I was a bit confused by his emotions. I didn't know what to think. He made me feel Uke I was worthless. He told me to get an abortion. I broke up with him. I was cryIng for days. Crying, because he hurt me real bad with the things he said. I started thinking to myself, maybe he's right. I thought about getting an abortion, but I didn't get it.

I decided to keep It. The way I see it, it's not the baby's fault. I mean we made the mistake. Why should it pay the price for somethIng we did. I really don't see It as a mistake. I see it as a way of God telling me my time has come. Now I have to think of the baby and me.

Everybody says I'm giving up my life. I don't see It that way. You see to me, It's the beginning of a new one. One that I can be there for. One that can share all Its feellngs wIth me. That one Is my baby and I love It.

7

BEING 1'\I.I:.A:R.:RIEI> Is NOT EASY Betty

Marriage Is a big responslbUity. especially to me. When I first got married. I didn't know how to do house work or

how to cook. •

Marriage Is not easy, especially when you're at a young age. I thought of marriage differently. Now that I'm married. everything that I thought of marriage is different from what I'm living.

The first three months were great. But. after those three wonderful months. that Is when he. my husband. started acting up. He starLed telling me what Lo wear and what to do. I never had anyone tell me what to do. or when to do it. Not even my mom. Then again. my mom had me very spoiled.

I was told that once a couple gets married the man Is the one who rules and says what goes. Not in my point of view. I believe it should go fifty filly.

I love my husband a lot. He Is my first love, bul I somelimes wtsh he wouldn't be so hard on me. It's that I'm not used 10 being told what to do. All my life. I've been a very Independent person. I'm willlng to change to make this marriage work. Being marrIed Is hard. but It doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

/

8

..A. BR.C>T:H:ER.· S C..ARE

(A PLAY IN PROGRESS) Gregory Dean.

scene one

setting: office in a school

John: How's your famtly? George: FIne. How's yours?

John: I have a problem. George: What's the matter?

John: I'm confused. Life Is moving too quick.

George: Don't worry yourself sick. Whatever you're dealing with. others go through.

John: I'm not convinced. George; Well, be more specific. Let me Imow what's on your mind. If I can help, I will.

John: I'm not sure. George: Don't try to be llke others. You are an IndlVIdual. You're unique. So be yourself.

John: I want to blend in.

My mother was very sick, and that was a problem rIght there. I tried to help her out wIth stuff that she couldn't do herself.

George: Howald were you when you started helping your mother?

John: I was too young to really remember. I started at a very early age. I grew up too quick. Life Just passed me by too quick. I didn't have tlme to play with any of my friends or get, to know any of them.

George: Well, how do you feel about that now? Are you angry about It? Do you blame anyone?

John: Yeah, with those problems I really blame myself.

George: Why blame yourself?

John: 'Cause I feel that If I wasn't born, I wouldn't have all these problems now.

George: Ah, so It would have been better never to have been born at all. Do you really think so?

John: At times, I do. George: There's a story about a ktng who was given thIs advice: "Life Is so hard and sorrowful that it is best never to have been born." I don't know. There's some positive things about Ufe, too. What do you think?

9

John: I have a brother, whom I help out. It makes me feel lIke my life Is worth something because I can help my brother. You see he is not able to care for himself. He has a severe dIsability, and he needs my help.

George: Tell me about your brother.

John: Ah, he's tall, 6' 1".

He likes to eat a lot. He weighs about 210 lbs. He likes to stay In bed when he's home from school. My brother can be lazy when he wants to. But, all In all, I do love hIm a lot. He Is my brother.

George: You've just described a person like ten m1lllon others. What do you mean when you say he has a severe dlsab1llty?

John: My brother can't talk. He's what they call mentally retarded. It's hard to deal wIth someone who can't talk. But, I am lucky that I can talk to him and he can understand me. If he wants something, 1 ask hIm what does he want and tell hlm to go and get It if he can. In most cases 1 will know what he wants.

10

George: It sounds to me like your brother mIght be autistic, if he can't talk. DId you ever hear of that term before? There was a movie about a man wIth an autistic brallier. Did you ever see "Rain Man"? Was there anything In that movie that reminded you of your brother?

John: Yes. I saw that movie. It was great. 1 can Identify with somethings in the movie. In the movie the guy who found out he had a brother wenl through some of the same things I had to go through:

George: At the end of the movie, the bra ther wen t to live in an institution. Have you ever thought of that, with regard to your brother?

John: No, 1 have not thought of that. It Is not something that I would want to do. I don't think that my brother would respond In an insULuUon, because he Is used to being at home. That would be a big change for him. He Just would not survlve.

scene two

setting: at home

John: Hey, Pete. I have

somethIng for you. I bought some crayons and a coloring book. I want you to do some coloring tonight before you go to bed.

Pete sits on his bed, paying no attention to John.

John: You know that I don't want you to go to bed too early 'cause if you go to bed now • you're gonna wake up In the middle of the night and stay up the rest of the night. Why don't you use the crayons to keep you awake a lllUe longer?

Pete starts to get angry at JolUl.

John: Don't you be getting angry with me. You're supposed to listen to me and not the other way around. I want you to stt down and do your coloring until I tell you when to go to bed.

Pete sits down at the table.

He is a little anyn), but he starts coloring in a book. John sits down next to his brother.

John: You're not colonng the people. You're coloring the whole page. Let me show you how to do it.

John takes the crayons. Pete looles on.

John: This is the way. You're supposed to be coloring the people like the way I'm showing you now.

John glues Pete the crayons.

Pele continues coloring lhe whole page.

John: That's not right! Watch me closely this lime.

Pete watches, then does as John is teaching him. Pete continues to draw while John starts to do some work about the house. After a while, John turns to Pete. He sits down to laUe to him about someihfng serious.

John: Pete..; /

Pete stops coloring Jar a momenL

John: I don't know if you can understand this, but, ••

Pete is looking at John.

John: Well, I'm going to I.ry to tell you something that's been on my mind. Do you understand why mama died?

Pete does not understand. John: Well, mama died because she had a heart attack Pete sUll does not understand. John: Mama had trouble breathing. She was in bed

asleep.; '

Pete looks at Jolm, trylng to understand.

John: Well, I'm telUng you this, because mama suffered from heart trouble for years. Mama always had trouble breathing and just lhat night she couldn't breathe any more, because the heart just stopped pumping ...

(to be continued)

11

l"ll

THE F .A.CE OF .A.N'OT:E-IER. SXSTER.

AnODy-InOUS

1

I have a sister who Is 12 years old. Recently we have been through a lot of changes between us and the family.

I try to handle the problems as well as I can. With my sister, she pretends to be something she's not.

There used to be a time when we could talk, but now everything Is a joke. It's like she's hiding what she feels deep Inside and won't let it out. I know it's hard for her to handle, because it Is for me. But, at the age she is and the stage she's In she should talk to me about how she's feeltng.

From her holding her feelings Inside It Is creating a lot of problems for her emotionally and physically. I was afraid that something would happen to her. One day she tried to commit suicide. Luckily It wasn't fatal. Still, she hides behind this barrier that I can't knock down no matter what I do.

Now it's getting very difficult for me to deal with. because I can't handle her not cornmunicattngwtth me or the family. I have tried to think of a solution to the problem. How can you tear a barrter down that's been up for so long? What if I start taking the barrter down and she comes down with it?

12

TI'IE :J:).A.. "Y

I FOUND OUT nlIv 1\IIOTIIER. :H:A:D .AIDS Shorty-in-the-Middle

My mother had always had thIs heavy cough. My grandmother kept telling her to go to the doctor. When my mother was sixteen, she was told she had T.B. and to take care of herself or it can get really bad.

As the years went by, she stopped taking care of herself. She was running around doing her own thing. So somewhere In her lIfe she hooked up with the wrong guy. I'm not saying she slept around: Just that If one guy would try to hit on her, he would get beat up by guys In my family. So he would not come around.

Anyway, for two months she was In the hospital. She went in because of her T.B. After a while, she came out. When she was in there I went to see her every Friday after school. When they let her out, she went to stay wIth her sister. The doctor told her to get a lot of rest, but at my aunt's house that's very hard to do. When I went there on the weekend, I saw my mother yellIng at my little cousins

and she was not eaUng. I told my grandmother and my grandmother told her . that she had better eat If she plans on getting better.

So a week later, I went over there arid she told me that she had spIt up some black stuff. She went back Into the hospital. I did the same thing. At first she was doing fine. The next week I went up there, she bad a brain seizure. I got very upset and scared.

I went up there on a Sunday with my two aunts. Then I went up there the next week. She was the same way. A week later she dld not even lmow that we had been up there. So she started getting worse.

On June 15, 1991, my grandmother called my house about 10:30 pm. I Just had thts feeling that something was wrong. I went to the phone. She told me to go to the hospital and pack up all my mother's things and take them to my house, because the doctor called her and said that she does not have much longer.

I went up there. On my way up the block, I saw my brother. He was on his way home. I asked him to go back with me. He did. We

talked and we cried 13

1[11

l

together. We shared her birthday cards between us. Everything else I took to my house. .

As I try to keep myself from breaking down the harder It gets. But. With my son, my brothers and the rest of the family, I know I can do it. When I am not around my family, my house parent Is always there for me.

RIght now my mother is hanging in there. TImes, I Just Wish God would Just take her. I hate to see her suffering.

Always rubber up for safety. No matter how well you think you know that person. Peace. Be safe. Take It from someone who Is going through this pain. I am outa herel 50001 A,B,Ceeal

14

TI-IE BIG SI-IOOT OUT' Tracey Jones

One day there was a blg fight. It was between the Yankee Posse and the Albany Posse. It started out as just a fist fight.

My brother and my cousins were in this fight. They were fighting and they fought from in front of the school up the street by the park. The boys from Albany ran down the block.

The building where one of my cousins and one of my uncles lived was in Albany. So we went to stand in front of their building and when they came back they had guns. When I saw them coming. I told my brother.

We all went into the building and we went to the third floor. They would not see us with out our weapons. I went upstairs. I got two "nine mUUmeters" and three "three fifty seven" hand guns.

I got my two guns. a "two point five" and a "two point two" auto. They had two girls with them that myself and my girl cousin Tracey did not like. We had three other girls with us. The first floor I could not believe. I was gettIng shot at.

I had to shoot back. The other three girls that was with us stayed in the building so that they would not get hurt. But one person got hurt really bad. I just thank Jab my cousin Spanlde did not die.

The other person who got shot Just got hit in the leg. That's what happened at The Big Shoot Out.

Now. here I am almost three years after that shoot out getting my G.E.D. After 1 do that, I plan to work on an E.M.S. truck. Then I

plan to move to where my father is from which Is Trlnldad. I want to do the same kind of work and if I find the right guy. I plan to get married. My brother that was in that shoot out now is getting his diploma and moving to HawaU to go to college for two years and do [our years in the marines.

15

.A- BRIDGE To BR.oOH:LYN R.ay Hernandez

I live a few miles away

from the Williamsburg Bridge. The bridge Is a very old bridge ..

In 1989 the bridge was about to ·collapse. Mayor Koch quickly hired help

to repair the bridge.

It took about a year to repair the bridge. The bridge needed a paInt Job

and needed repair on some beams to hold it up.

After the work was done, Mayor Koch opened the bridge.

\

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16

..A.:R.O"l.JNI> 1\I.I:y "VV'".A. y "Willens Registre

Where I live Is also called crIme cIty. The kids around there are so wild. It's like they just carne home from jailor something. If people come around there to- visit, they wouldn't like it, because of all the shooting and crime.

Sometimes I just want to get away from the area, but It's hard to get away. I don't know why. It's just hard. Most of the time, I'll be thInking about moving to another state. But, I don't want to go by myself. I would like for everybody in my famIly to go wIth me, so I wouldn't have anything to worry about. I wouldn't want to leave my girl and.just move away, because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. I wouldn't want her to hurt my feelings too. So I have to take my time and get to move to another state like that.

Around my way they also steal a lot of cars, strip them to the frame and then cut them In half. They also sell guns on the street. It's like buying them from a gun store. The only dIfference Is that they are from another state.

17

.-

l\I.I:y BEST ~END She-Ra

Sandy and I met when I moved in next door to her. We were only seven years old at the time. We became best of

friends. .

When I was sixteen. my mother and father got another home and we moved again. It was hard for me to move far from Sandy, but my mother was not golng to leave me behind.

As the months went by, Sandy and I wrote and called each other. I missed Sandy so much. I knew that someday I would see her again.

'!\vo years passed. Sandy had stopped calling me. When I trIed to call her no one would plck up the phone. She was wrltlng to me and telling me how good she was doing. I was very happy for her.

Three years passed. Sandy had stopped wrIting to me. I was very worried about her. I wanted to go see her, but I could not put my life on hold. So I waited for another two years until I was ready.

Time came to pass. I lost complete communIcation wIth Sandy. Her mother never called or wrote. I was very upset and hurt to thlnk that she found a new friend and forgot all about me.

I'm twenty three years old. I'm married and I have a two month old baby boy. His name Is Jack. I so badly wanted Sandy to see hIm.

(to be continued)

18

G-OI:N"G TO TI-XE 1\I.I:OVIES Joanne

l 1

Crack heads started flghUng In the Ridgewood

movie theater.

Everybody got out

of thelr seals

and started runnIng. People were so scared that they were stepping on lop of each other. Crackheads were shooUng at each other.

About three people got shoL. News reporters and cops came askIng everybody quesUons. People were so nervous

that they were runnIng home. That day was scary,

but iL wasn't nothing

like the Ctneplex theater. People around the area wait for people to come

out of the movie theater La rob them. One day, my frIend and I

went shopping for clothes in the mall downtown. Alter we were finished, my friend said,

"Let's go to the movie theater." I said, "Let's go."

So we wenL.

We got inside

tile movie theater and ordered

some popcorn and soda.

We sat down,

and were enjoying the movie. The movie was wonderful and funny.

The movie finIshed.

My friend and I walked out the movie theater. When we got to the door, my friend saId, "Joanne, take your earrIngs off."

I sald, 'Wby?"

She sald, "Because there's two guys

at the corner lookIng at our earrings."

I said, "How do you know they're looking

at our earrtngs?"

She satd, "Because

they look like thieves. They're dressed like thieves. And we have on blg earrings that attract

a lot of attention."

19

i

\ \

\

~E GET .A.:LoNG Lisa J.

Today was nice,

but It Is still kind of cold outsIde.

My name Is Lisa Jones and I live in the Bronx.

I lIved there all my life. •

I mean ... Well, you know.

My mom and I lIve alone there. My dad left when I was a baby.

Mommy doesn't speak about hIm much. She tells me,

"He was a no good for nothing of a man. And, I wish he would drop dead!"

I lmow she doesn't mean It.

because I can see that she still cares. It's In her eyes.

Well, that's enough about me. Let me tell you about my frIends. There's Megan---

Stuck up on herself,

she thinks the world was made for her. Bllly---

fat. sIlly. the class clown.

And last, but not least, Jane--she and I are best frIends.

We get along so well.

20

ON T~ R..UN Wllliaxn. Alexander

There once was a kid who was on the run for shooUng at people thinking it was Iun. One day he planned to rob someone,

take all their money, shoot them and run. He pulled it off, shot the man and ran free. WIth the money in hls hand. he felt at ease. He got back around his way

thinking he was the man

when five guys walked up to him pointing guns to his head.

The kid was scared

and didn't know what to do.

If you was looking down the barrel of a gun I'm sure you wouldn't too.

The kid was begging

and screaming for hIs llfe, but llttle did he know

that was someone he had shot The kid didn't know

because he shot so many,

so he thought it was someone trying to make a penny.

The kid ran tryIng not to get hit. Two of the man's bullets

struck the kid In the neck.

The kid hit the ground

looking up at the sky

while all the bad thtngs he dId raced through his mInd.

(

21

\

\

\

:EIO:M:ELESS Wl11ia:rn. Alexan.der

Being homeless

Is a serious stage.

People treat you

like you're a slave. Because you're homeless, people put you down. But like I say,

what goes around

comes around.

One day

you'll be In my place. The dIfference is

I won't laugh In your face.

22

DEAD IN 1\I.I:-y EYEs A:n.On.YDl.OUS

I live in a world

where everyone wants something from you. Where life is a chance that we ail must take.

I r

You know

when I go outside,

I see the people on the corner just standing there

waiUng for someone to say, "You got one ...

All I have is two dollars. That's all, man ...

You better be out of here.

Just get out of my face, okay ...

Come on. .

You know I would

pay you back.

Come on ...

Just one, okay." I hate it.

Ijust want to cry.

She's only twenty years old. Why do they do this Lo them? Oh, why ask?

If they don't know, who does?

As I walk further down, I can see old 'grandma, "Boy, you better stay from down there

or you'll find yourself standIng on the corner with your mother. Them damn kids

never listen."

As I stand there listening to grandma,

] say La myself.

'That's my mommy. Now 1 know

why the homeboys tease me. Why I hate my mom."

I remember opening my door and watching my friends take turns on my mother. And closing my eyes

to the fact

that mom Is a crack head and that she

is dead In my eyes.

I just want to walk up to her and kill her.

But she Is already dead In my eyes.

23

\

LIFE Anonyxnous

Life Is a wonderful thing. Don't waste your life away wIth drugs.

Drugs are evil chemicals that destroy your body and your soul.

Do you think using drugs makes you cool?

Well, you are absolutely wrong. If you want to be cool,

just be yourself

or make lots of friends.

Do some sports, acting. etc. So please don't use drugs;

for the sake of OUf future generation. Just say "NO" to drugs.

24

GOx:NG FoR. IT RadaIll.us Rosado

I

!

My name is Radamus Rosado. I live on 10 Stanton Street. I wake up every morning, brush my teeth, take a shower and go to school. I live with my mother and two older sisters.

When I first moved in the buildIng, I was thirteen years of age. Ever since I moved into the building, I've been slowly but gradually training myself in many things, such as maximum Intense workouts, kickboxlng and joinIng dIfferent gymnastic clubs.

When I first began, it was very hard. But, I quIckly got used to many things and began trying to find new things to do. I have not been weight traIning. I have Just been doing Intense exercises.

Now, that I have found a gym to go and workout with even more intense workouts. my life will change for the better. I have always loved weight training and now Is my chance to go for It. As far as I can.

25

DIPL01VIA. BOUND Dian. McCoy

There's only one major thing that I'm really serIous about right now. That Is working hard to get my GED. I know

I have to work hard

for it takes a lot of studying and tIme. But I think lowe myself

that much apprecIation.

So now I have to prove It

to my mother and myself.

Because I ain't no Joke.

I don't half step.

I always get paid

because I get the Job done.

26

r

T:H:E GR..A.DU.A.TE FleJD.ing Mathe'w'S, Jr.

The graduate is confident. He is an achiever

like a basketball player he scores,

like -a boxer he prevails as the champion,

like a football player he scores the final touchdown. In the beginning,

he was confident:

and in the end.

he moves to a higher obstacle in life.

,"

27

SOAP SCOOPS Gregory Dean

For those of you who watch Dynasty, I have some great news. I Just got the news.

Dynasty will be coming backJ That's right, You read rIght. Dynasty will be coming back. I got the news rlght from Joan Collins, who played Alexis Colby. She said it will be back, but only for a four hour mlnlserles,

I asked her If they had started taping anything yet. She said, "No, not as yet. They have not Illmed anything yet." But she has been keeping herself busy. She has written a book entitled, "Love, Desire and Hate."

Dynasty Is set to start taping sometime in the summer.

It will be airing sometime In the fall. Miss Collins said that she can't walt. She misses playIng bad girl Alexis.

I can't wait to see what this Dynasty will be like. I know you can't wait eIther.

28

'.