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THE FACEBOOK EFFECT! AN ARTICLE BY JANET LEE ROSE!

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Communication has changed with the advances of technology; phone calls and mailed letters have been replaced with texts and tweets. The personal relationship has shifted from face to face interactions to notes and abbreviated words on to someone's public wall. Facebook was introduced in 2005. It was rst only accessible to university students, which rapidly grew to include friends, relatives, co-workers, teachers and more. Currently, there are more than 800 million people actively using Facebook. In a world where private relationships are public and displayed online one must ask, where does this leave room for romance in a relationship?!

I was already a bit jealous and insecure, but I think Facebook has definitely made me much, much, much worse.!
Minsky!
National A!airs Reporter with The West Block on Global TV News!

The strains of Facebook on romantic relationship varies, for some couples it does

not affect them at all but for some Facebook users it can bring upon the end of a relationship or the explosive after effects of a bad break up. Facebook's strain on a relationship mostly stems from mistrust and jealousy; this is a result of keeping a constant eye on a partner. It has become so easily accessible that people use it as a venue where they would say things that they would not say in person. Ultimately hindering the relationship by unmeant words. There is also the issue of having access to their personal information and access to their interactions with others; of course having a window into a partner's past can stem insecurity and hurt. And when the relationship does end, is there a healthy way to do it? Or are all relationships doomed to the public, "too much information" sideshow of a break up? Though it has brought people from across the world together and created a platform for relationships, Facebook has the power to have a negative effect on romantic relationships.!

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The rst thing Facebook enables someone to do is to keep watch on their

partner, it can start as simple as checking their wall and grow to obsessively looking at all their photos, interactions and check- ins. Respondents admitted they had used Facebook to check up on their romantic partners by looking at whom they have been speaking to (Scott). A partner can see where their partner has been and with who, also interactions from simply saying "hello" or posting a link can be easily misread; on Facebook, there's less context... Feelings of insecurity, which would otherwise be easily quashed when the relationship is explained in person, become more frequent and more intense online (Minsky). A partner's insecurity can magnify when they see tagged photos or interactions with unknown friends, the assumptions can jump from, "who is she?" to "why were you out with that person?" Mistrust grows when one partner feels they must defend their innocent interactions, she's just a coworker or that's an old friends. The other partner can start feeling excluded from their life. The socialnetworking site has rapidly devolved into a surveillance tool, dissolving many a relationship status in the process (Bielski). Of course, there are the positive aspects of having a loved one on Facebook: to keep in touch when they travel, to show pride in being with them over a public wall and to send each their notes and inside jokes. But what boundaries must be presented? Facebook's public interaction has allowed for amazing interactions with anyone but without proper conduct or control a partner has access to too cub information that can bring ! ! about unnecessary jealousy and strain.!

Facebook collects information from the moment one joins to the moment the

account is deleted. With Facebook having been online for over four years now, this can accumulate the amount of photos and information from the past. How many friends does one have, how many photos can pile up and how many of these things will contain a past relationship? With the start of a new relationship one can see into the window of the past. No longer is an "ex" the mysterious person you may never bump into, now they are real and online. They can gaze into their predecessors' lives, from attering photos to frivolous interests and preferences - some of which can be disturbingly similar to their own (Bielski). Comparisons don't start from conversation or jokes; they can start in the darkness of a bedroom alone with insecurities mounting. Amy Muise, a Ph.D. ! of 4 2 !

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student in psychology, says "Facebook gives people access to information about their partner that may otherwise not be accessible. This may include details about their partner's friendships and social exchanges, especially interactions with previous romantic or sexual partners (Gaudin). A new relationship can be strained when a partner sees the many photo albums with their ex, comparing their trips, dates and Christmas gifts. The window into the past can also enter the present when the ex starts posting on their wall. With so much access into a partner's life the past can very much affect the present.! ! In the past, relationships were ended in person or through a phone call. Now

there are endless possibilities - a text message, a relationship status change or a Facebook message. And with the end of the relationship comes the aftermath. Now sorrows are not drowned in a bucket of ice cream and getting drunk, the qualms of a relationship are taken public with everyone knowing what happened and why it happened. The phenomenon of bad break ups on Facebook is so large that the Boston Health Commission gave a seminar, "Face It, Don't Facebook It" that addressed healthy break ups.!

[A] handful of scenarios the teenagers debated and placed into healthy or unhealthy categories... included posting mean/embarrassing statuses about your ex (unhealthy) and rushing into a new Facebook official relationship (understandable, but still not healthy).!
Denizet-Lewis!
Writer with the New York Times Magazine!

The effect of post break ups on Facebook is so widespread that humor websites

have collected the most atrocious ones and created articles for them (http:// www.happyplace.com/4033/the-most-awkwardly- public-break-ups-in-facebook-history/ page/2). Facebook's effect on the personal relationship has created a public forum for a person's relationship, whether it is celebrating someone's 'single' status or commenting on the quality of sex after a break-up the relationship is no longer for two people.!

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In the past, people in romantic or sexual relationships were not, for the most part, subjected to daily scrutiny of their social exchanges by their partner."!
Bielski!
Reporter with The Globe and Mail!

With today's instant notication and open information into a couple's lives, the

stains of Facebook are evident. Facebook's effect on the romantic relationship starts with over access to too much information, [s]eeing certain things on Facebook could enhance the jealousy that a person was experiencing, and that might lead to more surveillance and monitoring of their partner's Facebook page, which could then expose them to more jealousy-invoking information" (Denizet-Lewis). Even without constant monitoring of a partner, Facebook gives a window into the past photos and memories of a past lover are in plain site. With the social networking website recording every post and interaction there is also the public break-up, to change a relationship status can rock everyone's news feed. Facebook seems to make it difcult for people to trust, even when they feel condent in their partner (Bielski).!

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