Haley was born at his family's homestead in Midwest, Wyoming.

His family moved to Berkeley, California when he was 4. After serving in the United tates Army Air !or"es d#ring World War $$, he attended UC%A where he re"eived a BA in &heater Arts. '#ring his #ndergrad#ate years, Haley (#blished a short story in &he )ew *orker. After a year s(ent in (#rs#it of a "areer as a (laywright, he ret#rned to California and re"eived a Ba"helors of %ibrary "ien"e degree from University of California at Berkeley and then a Masters 'egree in Comm#ni"ation from tanford University. +ay was married for the first time in ,-./ and had three "hildren, 0athleen, 1regory, and Andrew, with his wife 2li3abeth. While at tanford, Haley met the anthro(ologist 1regory Bateson who invited him to 4oin a "omm#ni"ations resear"h (ro4e"t that later be"ame known as &he Bateson 5ro4e"t, a "ollaboration that be"ame one of the driving fa"tors in the "reation of family thera(y and that (#blished the single most im(ortant (a(er in the history of family thera(y, 6&owards a &heory of "hi3o(hrenia.6 &he "entral members of this 5ro4e"t were 1regory Bateson, 'onald deAvila +a"kson, +ay Haley, +ohn Weakland, and Bill !ry. $n addition to his (ersonal involvement in the birth and evol#tion of family thera(y, +ay was an observational resear"her of (sy"hothera(y in the ,-./s and early ,-7/s. &he Bateson 5ro4e"t arranged for +ay and +ohn Weakland to observe and re"ord "lini"ians in"l#ding Milton 2ri"kson, +ose(h Wol(e, +ohn 8osen, 'on +a"kson, Charles !#lweiler, !rieda !romm98ei"hmann, and others. $n ,-7:, while working at the Mental 8esear"h $nstit#te in 5alo Alto, +ay be"ame the fo#nding editor of the family thera(y 4o#rnal !amily 5ro"ess ;assisted by his first wife, 2li3abeth Haley, an e<(erien"ed 4o#rnalist=. While at M8$, +ay "ontin#ed the (rofessional relationshi( with Milton 2ri"kson that had been established in the earliest years of the Bateson 5ro4e"t. +ay hel(ed to introd#"e 2ri"kson to the "lini"al (#bli" with s#"h im(ortant books as Un"ommon &hera(y. Haley also worked "losely with alvador Min#"hin, who develo(ed tr#"t#ral !amily &hera(y.