Description

I’ve been a marriage and family counselor for 44 years now and in recent articles I’ve shared some of the work of my colleagues Nicholas A. Christakis and James Fowler and their cutting-edge research reported in their book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives.

Here’s a helpful article recently published in Scientific American magazine.

We think of falling in love as something deeply personal and hard to explain. Indeed, most Americans believe that their choice of partner is an individual choice and really no one else’s business. Some people select their partners impulsively and spontaneously; others, quite deliberately. Either way, partner choice is typically seen as a personal decision. This view of relationships is consistent with our general tendency to see life decisions as individual choices. We like to believe we are at the helm of our ship, charting an entirely new course, no matter how choppy the seas. It’s surprising, and maybe even disappointing, to discover that we are in fact sailing through well-traveled shipping lanes using familiar navigational tools.