Inspirational, courageous and brilliantly written

, October 19, 2009By

-See all my reviewsThe Lives of Abused and Battered WomenBy Author: Barbara Ann HartReviewed by Fran LewisWhen a woman believes that it is okay to become someone's punching bag she issending herself a poor message. When a woman feels that she has the inability toplace the fault on the person who is punching her and creating the abuse, she needsto rethink and reaffirm her rights as a person and whom she really is.There are many kinds of abuse that people endure throughout their lives. Whether itis child, sexual, physical, emotion, intimidation or verbal abuse, it is still wrong andthe abuser needs to be dealt with and made to realize that their actions and wordswill not go unpunished.Emotional abuse is more harmful and detrimental than you think. The scars arehidden and cannot be seen on the outside but are ever lasting ones that oftendestroy the person's self-esteem, self-respect and feelings of self-worth. No one hasthe right to do this to anyone in any way.As our author so brilliantly tells her story and shares the many experiences sheencountered when dealing with different types of abuse and abusers, we learn someserious lessons that must be taught and remembered by all women. One of theworst things that can happen to a person as described by the author is being madeto feel that you are worthless and not good enough to be in anyone's air space andbecause of that you deserve the poor hand that you are being dealt. Men oftenabuse women because they have low self images, low self-esteem and in order tomake themselves feel self-important and more in control, they try intimidation, fear,guilt, shame and physical harm in order to take strong, powerful and intelligentwomen down into the pits of the gutter where these men really reside.As the author shares many of the true life incidents that she went through andothers close to her too, we learn that men often become violent and abusive whenwomen are more successful than they are, have better jobs, can handle difficultissues better than they can and can move on in many different directions whenthings do not work out for them. They demean and verbally insult the womencausing some women to self-inflict their own abuse on themselves by feeling theydeserve to be unhappy when their partner is too. NO YOU ARE NOT!Women need to realize that who and what they are is just fine. Take a paper andmake a list of all the things that you want for yourself and in life and post it on a wallin a room, bulletin board in just in notebook. At the top of the list label it THIS ISWHAT I WANT FOR ME in order to make your life go on an uphill climb. Our authorrelated stories about women who felt the need to put the desires of men ahead of theirs and were often deflated and left alone when the desires were met and theyfound someone else to fill them in what they feel might be a better way. Take thatlist and add to it what you want in a partner and the qualities that you both shouldhave to make the relationship work. Then, decide what you need for your successand do not settle for less.The one thing that my mother taught me and I have never forgotten till this day is tobe financially independent of any man whether a husband, boyfriend or anyone andnever ask for anything that you cannot get for yourself. Marriage is a definitepartnership with each party sharing the responsibilities whether financial, household

chores and more. But, when one person forgets his place and decides thatmistreating the other is the only way he can find an excuse to wander, leave anddefault on his responsibilities, it is your job to show him the door and keep it lockedor better yet change the locks. She also taught me after many years of learning thehard way, that you must never love someone more than they love you and put yourneeds at the top of the list.The message conveyed in this book is meant for women and men. No one has theright to debase, demoralize or diminish the inner soul, inner being and inner core of another person. There are many gears people use when driving a car and the onethat you must never use when dealing in a relationship is reverse. Move ahead anddrive and establish yourself as a brave, courageous and independent women whocan manage on her own and when she feels the need for companionship it will be onher terms and with the understanding that her rights and feelings will not beviolated.The author tells about women and describes how they cheat with other women'spartners whether married or not. These women are not as self-assured as you wouldthink. They need control and they need to feel important and in order to do that theyprey on good; kind and unsuspecting women who they feel are weaker than they areand will succumb to their rude and mentally dismantling ways. Men who cheat do itto feel virile, dominant and in their own terms manlier. Not so, they are just are littleboys who want to feel grown up in an adult's body and if the situation were reversedand you left them, they will not see it as anything that they might have done butblame it on you.It takes a woman of courage, valor and integrity to open her life and her heart to herreaders and share her experiences with us in order to inspire and teach other womenand even men that any kind of abuse is wrong and we will not stand for it. Womenoften demean and can be hurtful when a man loses his job or becomes ill and cannotwork. In-excusable. But, when that same man does not appreciate the loyalty,kindness and compassion afforded to him by his companion or partner, then heneeds a lesson in more than just plain humility and kindness. Life is meant to bespent doing what makes us happy and brings joy into our hearts and minds. God iswatching over all of us and will always be there when we need him.Barbara Ann Hart has written a book that is meant to remind us everyone is uniqueand special in his or her own right. Everyone has a voice and it must never besilenced. Everyone is capable of love and when someone denies you that love ormakes you feel less than whom you are, do what you do when you are typing andyou make a mistake-DELETE him from your life and start over again.Here is my message to you:Barbara you have surely eased the pain of many by writing this book.Barbara you have made many including this reviewer stronger in mind and heart byhaving read your book.Barbara you are an amazing woman who will not stand for anyone hurting her orthose close to you. You deserve God's blessing and strength and kindness.Diamonds are the most precious and valuable stones. Their worth never goes down.To every woman out there: YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN THE HOPE DIAMONDOR THE LARGEST STONE IN Cartier's OR HARRY Winston's. WOMEN UNITE: FAIRWARNING: NEVER AGAIN: NO MORE! WOMEN UNITE: SISTERS ONE AND FOR ALL!This is a great book and I never give stars: I give this book FIVE RAYS OF GOLDEN