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Fathers Ought to Protect Their Children

Fathers Ought to Protect Their Children

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Published by olufemi fasanya
Josef Fritz has been sentenced to life imprisonment. To many who viewed his case, he did not get what he deserved.
Josef Fritz has been sentenced to life imprisonment. To many who viewed his case, he did not get what he deserved.

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Published by: olufemi fasanya on Oct 31, 2009
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05/11/2014

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The Nation
- http://thenationonlineng.net/web2Fathers ought to protect their childrenhttp://thenationonlineng.net/web2/articles/21338/1/Fathers-ought-to-protect-their-children/Page1.htmlBy Olufemi FasanyaPublished on 10/10/2009
Recently, I had a burden in my heart on the issue of abuse by fathers against their children. This burdenwas ignited by the incest case involving Josef Fritzl; a man who was charged with abusing a familymember.
Recently, I had a burden in my heart on the issue of abuse by fathers against theirchildren. This burden was ignited by the incest case involving Josef Fritzl; a man whowas charged with abusing a family member. He had locked up his daughter for 24years, had forced sexual intercourse with her and had seven children out of thatrelationship. When I heard the report on CNN, it got me thinking.Late last year, in one of the social networks I joined on the internet, a lady askedthose who joined the network to give her advice on what to do. She wrote that herfather had been having sexual intercourse with her since she was a teenager. BeforeI could respond to it, the network had taken off the question from its site. Josef Fritzl’s case does not show that incestuous sexual relationship between a fatherand his child(ren) is only a foreign problem. The lady that asked for help on the socialnetwork is a Nigerian. I have read in some of the Nigerian newspapers shockingstories of fathers abusing their daughters. It is therefore out of concern for the familythat I am writing this. Though abuse may take varying forms, I consider sexual abuse by far the worse,especially when it comes from someone who should be your protector - one’s father.No child who has ever been abused gets over it without what I call 'divine' help. Thequestion that needs to be answered is: why do some fathers abuse their child(ren)?I have discovered an important reason for that: Perverted lifestyle - Years ago, Iwrote inspiring words and mailed them to people on my mailing list. I got the emailaddresses from friends and extracted some of them from email sent to me. I wasdoing this for some years when I got a reply from one of those that had been gettingmails from me, saying he was gay. I responded by telling him that I was not gay butwe could be friends if he wanted. So, I gave him my home address and asked him tocome visiting. It was when he came visiting the second time that I discovered that hewanted to make a gay out of me. So, that put an end to that relationship. Years later,I have appreciated the fact that I did not give in to him. Today, I have two children -both boys. If I had given in to that perverted act, my children would not be safe withme. There are certain perverted acts that some fathers have gotten involved in in theway they treat their own children that later boomerang. Some have molestedchildren when they were much younger; some have been involved in masturbation (Ihave read reports that masturbation can be healthy, but I really do not accept that)
 
and their sexual desire had been heightened. So, a perverted lifestyle is one of theroot causes of incest involving a father and his child(ren).A victim’s position - Josef Fritz has been sentenced to life imprisonment. To manywho viewed his case, he did not get what he deserved. The cry, ‘crucify him!’ wouldbe a household word during his trial. I am more concerned about how a man can goso low as to commit incest with his own daughter. It never ceases to amaze me howpeople can go into this act. However, I have come to a conclusion that the statement,‘hurt people hurt others; people who have been abused, abuse others’, is true. Josef Fritz was a man who said he had gone through some forms of abuse from hismum (he did not say that it was sexual in nature). We all react to abuse in differentways, but one thing that is consistent with people who have been abused is that theyconsciously or unconsciously abuse others.However, I have concluded that there is no moral justification for a man to abuse hisown child(ren), and my cry to fathers is that they should play their role as theprotectors of their families, rather than become the ones that hurt them. I believethat the statistics of this form of abuse is higher in this country than we can imagine.Unfortunately we live in a society where people keep quiet because of the resultingstigma if it becomes known. Many children will also not share it with their mothersbecause they want to protect their parents' marriage.Many children are going through pains because they cannot share what they aregoing through with others. The lady that asked for help in the social network that I joined wrote with so much pain in her note that it woke up compassion in my heartfor her. There is no child that has gone through sexual abuse from her father that willever remain the same again.It is time for fathers who have abused their child(ren) in the past to seek help. I knowthat if you have your way, you will not have done it or you would have stopped.Anyone who has been involved in this act needs help urgently. You will havediscovered by now that your best effort to stop the act is not enough, you will need tocome out with it to someone you can trust. Whatever wrong that is not confessedalways has a hold on one. Once it is said out, the hold it has is broken. The life of the child that has been abused can be salvaged if the father who has donethis will come out clean with it. You will need to see a psychiatrist for treatment, andthe child will also be required to go through some forms of treatment to stop it. Mybelief is that religion can serve as a way of healing for both the father and the childwho has been abused. Turning to the clerics of the faith they attend and confiding inthem will also help in the process of helping the man to be free from this pervertedlifestyle and also the child who is abused to experience healing.Religion, I believe will help more than one can imagine. Turning to God who nevercondemns is an important way for both parties regain their lives and set the abusedfree from becoming an abuser in the future.Can abuse ever end in our world? My answer is a NO. It'll never end, but you can endit in your family and to people around you by learning how to love and walk in love.Love is a powerful medicine that can turn the victim of an abuse to a victor.

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