As you can see, I have a similar sword which I am going tostop waving over my head now, because A) I think you are permanently scarred, and B) the headmaster looks like he is aboutto tackle me and C) some of you, I can tell, are way too excitedabout this sword, and you’re scaring me a little.I’m here with you young men today because your parentswanted me to speak to you about service—that is, serving othersand giving back to the broader community for the blessings thatyou have received in your life. But that is a speech for a later timein your life. Don’t get me wrong, serving others is really, reallyimportant. It truly is the secret to happiness in life. I swear to God.Money won’t do it. Fame won’t do it. Nor will sex, drugs,homeruns or high achievement. But now I am getting preachy.Today, I want to talk to you about the dirtiest word that anyof you 9
th
graders know. It’s a word that is so terrible that your
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