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He's Just Not That Into u

He's Just Not That Into u

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Published by: u4102202 on Nov 03, 2009
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01/02/2013

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He's just not that into you...
WrittenBy Abby Kohn & Marc SilversteinBased on the bookByGreg Behrendt & Liz TuccilloJuly 20, 2007
 
 
EXT. PARK - DAYWe float down through a serene, leafy park to thechildren's play area. There, in the sandbox, a BEAUTIFULFIVE YEAR OLD GIRL plays among a group of kids.GIGI (V.O.)I have a theory about how this allstarted... A SIX YEAR OLD BOY approaches. He watches the littlegirl for a moment as she gently shapes her sand castle. And then - out of nowhere - THE LITTLE BOY PUSHES THELITTLE GIRL DOWN.LITTLE GIRLWhy did you do that?LITTLE BOYBecause you smell like dog poo.Some of the other kids SNICKER at this brilliant one-liner. Our little girl's face turns red.LITTLE BOY (CONT'D)You're so stupid just like dog poo!You're made of poo! And then, just to punctuate, he JUMPS ON THE SANDCASTLE,smashing it. Finally, our little girl starts to CRY.INT. KITCHEN - DAYOur beautiful girl sits at a kitchen table with her MOM.She can only get out one syllable between big, wet sobs.LITTLE GIRLMade. (SOB) Of. (SOB) Dog. (SOB) Poo.MOMHoney, do you know why that little boydid those things? And said those things?The little girl shakes her head no.MOM (CONT'D)Because he LIKES YOU.FREEZE FRAME ON OUR LITTLE GIRL'S FACE - TRYING TOPROCESS THIS.
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GIGI (V.O.)Uh - excuse me -- but what - the - HELL?Where did that rumor start? Because momshave been spreading it for years.BACK TO THE SCENE - THE MOM CONTINUES...MOMThat little boy is doing those terriblethings because he HAS A CRUSH ON YOU.We see our little girl take this in, like she is just nowbeginning to understand the ways of the world.GIGI (V.O.)Do you understand what this means? Weare all encouraged to believe that
if aguy acts like a total jerk 
--
that meanshe likes you
. Sure, that's a lesson that might serve us as five year olds, but many of us keep believing this advice well into adulthood.INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT
A CUTE COLLEGE GIRL sits CRYING in front of her ANSWERINGMACHINE, as her ROOMMATE looks on.
GIGI (V.O.)Then, as we get older, we carry on thistradition of misreading the signals mensend by encouraging our friends to do thesame...
The machine evilly flashes 0 in the NEW MESSAGES window.ROOMMATE #1That Phi Delt so
obviously 
liked you.I’m sure he just lost your number.INT. HIGH RISE OFFICE - DAYA HOT EXECUTIVE WOMAN stands in the office hallway, watching a SEXY MALE COLLEAGUE walk by. He does not giveher a second glance. Her FEMALE SECRETARY looks on.SECRETARYHe's not asking you out because he'sintimidated by your professional successand emotional maturity.
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