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Influence

Influence

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Published by terrygault
Why influence is important in any relationship
Why influence is important in any relationship

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Published by: terrygault on Mar 03, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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07/23/2014

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What are the benefits of influence?- Increase your ability to shape someone’s behavior when you do not have directcontrol of them.- Gather better data while building ongoing relationships in sales, consulting,and in any businessenvironment.- Motivate others when involved in projects with virtual teams in remotelocations.- Exert leadership that transcends organizational boundaries.Even when you have direct authority, command and control behavior does not producereal buy-in. Influence is shaping someone else’s behavior without resorting topositional power. Real buy-in is achieved when others participate in the processof making decisions. The true meaning of dialogue is aptly captured succinctly bythe title of William Isaacs seminal book, Dialogue: The Art Of Thinking Together.Some approach customers and clients by telling them about the superiority of theirproduct, countering customers’ “objections,” then “closing” the transaction.Influence is more subtle. In complex transactions, involving experienced partieson both sides, a more sophisticated approach is called for. Consider the following“stages of influence.”Conflict and ResolutionBusiness associates open to you as you square off and face them directly. A senseof all things possible develops as you learn to focus your attention even moreintensely on someone else.Trust is earned as others feel heard. Rapport is built as you demonstrateunderstanding of others needs and desires. Influence is increased as your empathicparaphrasing leaves others feeling profoundly understood.Inquiry expands the field of possibilities and begins the process of dialogue.Pathways of influence materialize as your understanding of others’ mental mapsgrows.Conflagrations are diffused as the assumptions that underlie them are surfaced.Long-term business relationships are formed as your influence expands.To influence another, they must trust you. We tend to trust people with whom wefeel connected. Create a sense of shared experience with your colleagues andcustomers.Active ListeningAccurately receiving the message of others is the hardest part of thecommunication process. We tend to focus on:- What we want to say, and- What we expect others “will say.”Our expectations are often so strong that they interfere with hearing what is

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