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Title: Here's AnotherAuthor: Lennie Lower (Leonard Waldemar) (1903-1947)* A Project Gutenberg of Australia eBook *eBook No.: 0100301.txtLanguage: EnglishDate first posted: December 2001Date most recently updated: December 2001Project Gutenberg of Australia eBooks are created from printed editionswhich are in the public domain in Australia, unless a copyright noticeis included. We do NOT keep any eBooks in compliance with a particularpaper edition.Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check thecopyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing thisfile.This eBook is made available at no cost and with almost no restrictionswhatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the termsof the Project Gutenberg of Australia License which may be viewed online athttp://gutenberg.net.au/licence.htmlTo contact Project Gutenberg of Australia go to http://gutenberg.net.au-----------------------------------------------------------------Title: Here's AnotherAuthor: Lennie Lower (Leonard Waldemar) (1903-1947)CONTENTSTHE LAST OF THE THOMASESPERILS OF THE BATHTUBWHAT BREAD IS AND HOW TO USE ITTROUT SEASON NOW OPEN FOR SILVER FISHERMENLOVE AND POLITICSOVERCOMING CLASS CONSCIOUSNESSBANKING: HOW SHE WORKSCURRENCY BASED ON EXPERIENCEANZAC NIGHT IN THE GARDENSLOWER TURNS HIGHBROWALL CRACKED AT THE TOWN HALLTHE BUTCHERS' PICNICUNTRUE FACTS ABOUT SNAKESBRADMAN AND THE BURGLAROUR OUTING IN THE HOBO LINEDRINKS WITH A KICK IN THEMMUST DRINK BEERHOW TOPPING, BY JOVE, WHAT!MILK BOARDNEW OPERAEVERY CLOUD HAS A WET LINING
 
DON'S BOYHOOD FRIENDSON INFLATIONTHE WALLABIES OF WILLOUGHBYKLEPTOMANIACSFIREMEN OFTEN GO TO BLAZESA TIP FOR THE TREASURERMONEY BOX AS BAITGOLF ON THE OCEAN WAVEHOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU ARE SILLY?NEW POINTS ON PRICKLY PEARTHE BACHELORS' GUIDE TO THE CARE OF THE YOUNGLOSERS AND LOTTERYLEFT WITH THE LOOTTHESE ERUDITE BARBERSA AND Y AMBITIONS AT SCHOOL LEFT US COLDA LESSON ON LIONSWOOL AND WHAT IT ALL MEANSTOPWEIGHT SNAIL'S GREAT RUNENGLISH, AS SHE IS SPOKE, ARE DREADFULUNPAID TAXESRULES FOR HUSBANDSLOWER KHAYYAM TELLS OF CUPAN APPEAL FOR MODERATIONGOLFCAN YOU BITE THE BACK OF YOUR OWN NECK?AN ADMISSION OF ANCESTRYBANANAS IN BOOTEESSIMPLE TALK ON DRESSTHIS GLAND CUREGIRLS, HOW TO ACQUIRE "IT"RABBITS, IF YOU LIKESUBSTANTIAL MEALSOPPOSITION FOR SYDNEY FERRIESTHAT CIRCUS AWARENESSFLAT HEAD, OR FAT HEADSLET'S BECOME PURERTRAIN TURTLES FOR PROFITCHANCES WE MISSEDMEN MUST PAY HEAVILY TO BE BEAUTIFULWHY IS A WHALE?WAGERS THAT ARE WORTH MAKINGPEDESTRIANS OF RUBBERPERSONALITYY CHARACTER, DETERMINATIONLOVE AND KISSESLONELY SARDINE"WE MELT IN TEARS"THE OYSTER AT HOMEABOUT FROGSA LOWER STANDARDTALKING OF WORMSVISIT TO THE ZOOHOW TO DISCOVER A GOLD MINEUNDERSTAND?ABOUT FIRESTHE TERRORS OF WEALTHWHAT GOLD ISMAKING MONEY OUT OF DOGSAMBITION AND SUCCESS.
 
A NOBLE ART OF ARGUMENTTHE VERY LATEST IN FISH YARNSTHE LAST OF THE THOMASESThere was a man named Thomas. There generally is. His surname wasThomas, and his Christian name was Thomas, so his full name was ThomasThomas.This is very peculiar.Thomas's family tree had been ringbarked at his father's death, forThomas was not married, and he was the last descendant of an honorablefamily. It looked as if the family could not descend any further.His father died in very romantic circumstances. He sprained his anklein Macquarie Street, and a young doctor, seeing him fall, ordered himinto hospital and operated on him for appendicitis, so successfully,that he died a martyr to science.On his father's death, Thomas became an orphan, because his mother haddied some months before he was born. He graduated as an orphan quiteeasily.Thanks to the commonsense laws of this country, all that was necessaryfor him to become a qualified orphan was that both, or all, of hisparents should be dead.Poor Thomas was cast out into the cruel world to earn his own living.No one can realise the horrors of this unless they have had to earntheir own living themselves, so it is no use trying to explain.It was a bit hot on him, being cast out into the world, though.With tears in his eyes he watched the landlord kick the door inand seize the furniture his poor old mother had made when she was agirl. Sadly he locked the landlord in, and set fire to the house, andthen started out for the cold, hard city.He had nothing, not even a cat. Not a solitary bell tolled him to comeback and be a Lord Mayor.Going along the road, he struck a kindhearted motorist, who gave him alift. Or, rather, the motorist struck him. He was lifted about eightfeet.He continued on his way, and at last, after many vicissitudes toonumerous to mention, entered the city on his hands and knees.As he was crawling along in the gutter, a big man in a motor car slicedhis ear off with the mudguard, and then, pulling up, greeted him with ahearty laugh.
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