- http://thenationonlineng.net/web2Don’t repeat the mistakes of your father http://thenationonlineng.net/web2/articles/8142/1/Dont-repeat-the-mistakes-of-your-father/Page1.htmlBy Olufemi FasanyaPublished on 27/06/2009I was recently having a discussion with a young man who had got married not long ago;thank God for MTN free night call.
I was recently having a discussion with a young man who had got married not long ago; thank God for MTN free night call.My advice to him was the need to guard his family from the past mistakes; I said to him,
"There is a thinline that divides the past from the present and the present from the future."Really, if a father doesn’t walk in this consciousness, it’s easy for him to repeat the mistakes of his ownfather. I guess some of the readers of this column may in time past had called their fathers irresponsible anda bad example for his children. Yet, inside of everyone is the likeness of the man who gave birth to them. Ifeel that our children, just as we assessed our own dads will be the one who will make conclusions about ustoo.My cry to fathers in today’s column is;
‘don’t repeat the mistakes of your father’.
Life is like a viciouscycle. History, when it’s not learnt from, always repeats itself. However, the impact of the repetition of history is often at a varying degree to that of the present; that of the present is far worst.I will want every father who will read this column to do reminiscence of the past and learn from the parenting approach of their parents. They should objectively look at the constructive and negative impact of how they were brought up.Permit me to say that you can learn from the past, but it can be a colossal mistake to use the approach of your parents in the change of present trend of event. For instance, it’s wrong to impose on your children thecourse they ought to study; the wife they should get married to by imposing cultural superiority on them; by turning your children against other cultures, etc.Years back, I can quite remember up till date going to a friend’s house and being treated by his father likean enemy because I am a Yoruba and they were Igbo (some Igbos’ have had similar experience too). Thecivil war thing just keeps living in the heart of many parents and they keep passing the hatred on fromgeneration to generation. Even there are tribes who consider it a taboo to get married to people from a particular tribe. Thus, ethnic problem still exists in the country.If a child has bias for a group or culture, 80 per cent of his or her education was imparted into him or her byhis/her father. The father is the one who unconsciously educates his children on love, respect for humanityand the law. He is the major influence of his family. The hatred that is pominent in the world today is dueto the fact that children have been taught to hate by a father who has lived under some bitter experiences.Some fathers merely follow what their fathers taught them without asking questions. Some, because theyare not conscious of observing past events in their family, had repeated far worse than what their ownfathers had done. The reality is that it leaves a negative impact on the lives of their children. Here is thestory that I believe will help buttress my point…Kemi, at the early stage of her life grew in a home where there was love and care richly shared by her parents to one anther and to the children. She could still remember how her dad would come home after a