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A/N: This Belongs to SM, I Am Just Playing! Chapter

A/N: This Belongs to SM, I Am Just Playing! Chapter

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Published by Jessica

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Published by: Jessica on Nov 08, 2009
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12/07/2009

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A/N: This belongs to SM, I am just playing!Chapter 1: Fake SmilesDeep Breath... Calm down... Just a dream....I was laying in my tiny bed shaking and soaked through with sweat even though the window wasthrown wide open letting in a bone chilling breeze. I would always open my window at night, after Charlie had gone to bed. I know I shouldn't hope... It is sick really. It's been weeks and weeks and hehas not made any contact whatsoever. The automatic tears that always flow when ever his name ismentioned, or thought of, or even if something little reminds me of him, threatened to fall, so I quicklygot out from under all my piled on blankets and took a shower to help clam down.Standing under the scalding water, I tried not to think to much, but to no avail. Today was Saturday, sono school. The weekends were the worst days. I have almost nothing to occupy myself and by the timeMonday gets here, I am almost out of my mind.After I was done I began to clean my room. I re-organized my books and CDs. I picked up all my dirtyclothes and did a load of laundry. I started breakfast and coffee for Charlie and made him something totake with him out on his boat while he was fishing today. Around Seven Charlie came down. Hethanked me for the food and sat down to enjoy his favorite breakfast of Eggs with ham and cheese andtoast with jelly. He was such an easy man to please. I never understood why my Mom hated it here somuch. Charlie was easy enough to get along with. He really loves us...Charlie broke into my train of thoughts with a question."Aren't you hungry?""No. Just coffee today." He still looked concerned and like he was about to say something again so Isaid, "I'll eat something here in a bit." I threw in my Fake Smile to try to help a little."Alright. Well, just so you know, Jacob Black is coming over today to do some work on your truck for me. The kid could use the extra cash and I thought you might like some company. I hate thinking of you here alone all day.""Dad, you don't need to do that." I was trying not to let my anger show but it was hard. "I can take careof my self.""Didn't say that you couldn't. Just said you might could use some company. He will be here aroundnoon, so make enough lunch for him, if you don't mind." And with that, he stood and grabbed his bagof lunch, kissed the top of my head and said a quick 'thanks' and was gone. I listened to his truck pullout and drive until I could no longer make out the sound.For the rest of the morning I tried my best to keep my hands occupied. After cleaning every room I saton the porch swing with my bag of knitting. Once, a few years ago, my Mom and I took a knittingclass. We only went to about three meetings but I picked it up really fast and actually enjoyed it. I wasworking on a scarf for no one in particular right now. I was just using some black yarn I had left over from a sweater for Charlie and not really paying attention to much other then the music coming out of my stereo and the needles and stitches in front of me when a hand came down on my shoulder out of nowhere. I jumped visibly and let out a loud scream as I looked up into the laughing face of JacobBlack."Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!" He continued to laugh at me. "Man, you jumped, like, a mile in theair!"
 
"Yeah, haha." I said sarcastically."Well, um... I'm supposed to do some work on your truck..."I interrupted him. "Actually, I already had a mechanic look at it, Charlie didn't know I already had ittaken care of. Sorry.""Oh really? And who did you go to?""Oh someone down at Dowling's" I lied."Yeah right. Like Charlie would pay those prices. I think I'll go and check to make sure they dideverything right. I re-built that old thing, you know!" He winked at me and walked off to my truck.Apparently Charlie had told him I'd try to run him off. Since when did he know me so well?I watched curiously as Jacob pulled his truck next to mine and started dragging out different tools hewould need. After almost an hour of watching him fiddle around and become almost covered in oil andgrease stains, I decided he might could use some food and drink, so I went and made us somesandwiches and got two bottles of water. I sat it up on the table outside and walked over to him.He was leaning over at the waist into the hood of the truck. I couldn't see his head, but I had a goodview of his butt. I began to feel the heat in my cheeks despite the cold air and I called his name."Jacob, I made some lunch."He lunged forward a little at the sound of my voice and smacked his head on something. He raisedhimself out rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand and said, "Oww, don't sneak up on people!"I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him. I guess this is what was so funny when he scared meearlier. "Hey, paybacks, remember?" I almost couldn't wipe the silly smile off my face as we went upthe the porch and he shredded off his jacket."Do you want to eat inside?" it had to be almost freezing out here, but thankfully it wasn't raining at themoment."Nah, I never get cold. I run hot. Aren't you cold?""No, I'm used to it." That's all it took. The word 'cold' was spoken and I immediately thought of Edward. Marble, stone hard, cold, Edward. I could almost feel myself slipping back into my depressionthat I had managed to escape for a few minutes. Pain ripped though my chest and I gulped, trying toforce myself to suck in the air. I could feel my hands shaking. I buried them in my hoodie pocket andclutched them to my stomach as a wave of nausea hit me. I closed my eyes and rested my head on thetable trying to calm down.I could see his face. His beautiful golden eyes. His perfect jaw line. His soft hair I wanted to wrap myhands in and the lips that I wanted to kiss so badly. Great, now here come the tears...I was brought back to earth to someone saying my name. I froze. I completely forgot Jacob was evenhere, I was so caught up in my panic attack."Bella, are you alright? Shh, it's okay. Come here." He scooped me up before I could even take a breathto protest with and managed to open the door and plant me on the sofa in just a few seconds. He brought me my water, and I gratefully took a sip. He handed me a tissue and I dried my eyes, nowfeeling embarrassed about my breakdown and because someone else was having to take care of me. Hesat beside me and rubbed my back and talked softly."You know Bella, you really need to get the oil changed on that hunk of junk if you expect it to lastmuch longer. You know, I will do it for you for free any time. Just swing by the rez or gimmie a call.
 
Okay?" He was trying to distract me and, surprisingly, it was working."Yeah, I kinda have been neglecting that, haven't I." Just like I've been neglecting everyone else... Ifinished inwardly. I couldn't look him yet so I took another sip for something to do. He was stillrubbing my back, and even though I felt a little awkward, it felt good too. I couldn't remember the lasttime someone touched me like that.Oh, wait, yes I could... Edward used to rub me to help me fall to sleep when he would hum my lullaby.And now it was happening again. Tightness. Hard to breathe. Shaking. I felt Jacob pull me close andwrap his arms around me, and I just let go. I buried my face into his chest and cried until I couldn'tanymore. Jacob rocked me slightly and rubbed my back and shoulders, even my hair, trying to consoleme. After a bit, I could control myself and pulled away, but he didn't let go of me. Part of me wanted torun away and tell him not to touch me, and the other half, the weaker half, wanted this small form of comfort. So I let him hold me, even though I knew it was wrong. After some more time, he cleared histhroat and I sat all the way up off of him."I need to finish putting your truck back together, but I can stay here with you, if you want me to.""No, I'm fine. I'm sorry you had to see this... I am such a mess." I covered my face with my hands inshame. He gently tugged my hands away and looked me in the eyes. He had a sweet little smile on hisface and he reached up and wiped away a rouge tear."Bella, you are going through a hard time, its understandable. Don't worry about it! I'm here for ya,kid!""Who are you calling kid, I'm older then you!" I said, trying not to sound indignant."Yeah, but I am bigger then you, so that counts for something.""Pfft." I scoffed. "I could take you down any day, Jacob Black, and make you sorry!""Is that a threat, or a promise?" He said with an evil grin.Suddenly, I was being tickled half to death. He poked me under my arms and wiggled his fingers under my chin and counted half my ribs before I could try to fight him off through a fit of giggles. I retaliatedwith a quick but firm pinch of his pecks and had the pleasure of hearing him roar like lion before pulling my hands off."Oh, you asked for it, little girl.""Little girl?!" I gasped. He must have saw the determination in my eyes because he was about to flee before a grabbed his waist and pulled him down to the floor with me on top. I sat up and pressed mythumbs into the hollow spot at his hips and tried to hold on as he almost cried with laughter and tried to buck me off. He finally got my hands and I couldn't get free. He yanked me down to his chest and practically growled in my ear between breaths, "That... tickles..." We were still laughing and barelyable to breath when I looked down at him and he looked up at me. He was still holding my wriststogether with one hand and he slightly pulled me forward at the same time he wrapped his other armaround my neck and brought my lips to his, even though he was the one trying to kiss me.I let him, and was suddenly confused. I had never kissed lips like Jacobs. These lips were not hard andcold, but soft and warm. They moved with mine instead of molding them. There were rough patches of stubble on his chin and it kind of tickled mine. He opened his mouth and bit onto my bottom lip and pulled it in to his mouth. I involuntarily moaned out loud, and the sound seemed to act like a trigger inmy head. My heart started pounding and I feel a rush of heat flood through my veins. Jacob deepenedthe kiss and I felt my heart rate speed up even more. I had never been kissed like this before...Suddenly, somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard Edward say my name. "Bella..." It was so soft, I

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