'The Positive Approach' is a personal growth home-study course written byPeter Shepherd. Each lesson may be read and practiced, over hours, days orweeks as you need. At any time you can take your studies to greater depth bybuying the 'Living Consciously' and 'Meta-Programming' courses, which includeunlimited personal email support. Details of these and other Tools forTransformation courses are included at the end of this document.The Positive Approach is intended to help you become more clear about yourown identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to consciouslytransform your life for the better. You will learn how your beliefs shape yourlife experience and become aware of exactly how you are creating your reality.Each of these lessons includes a practical element that you can apply duringthe week, so your life can genuinely start to improve and you make realprogress toward manifesting your vision.The first lessons are about finding yourself and becoming whole. One of thefactors that causes fragmentation of your identity - who you think and feel youare - is invalidation, which happens when you feel made wrong by another'scomments or actions.
When you act according to the will of another person and suppress your ownwishes, you have identified a part of yourself with the other person. You havelet them into your mind, as your master. You have become fragmented. One of the main ways this comes about is through invalidation, or 'making wrong'. If somebody says your effort was 'not good enough' or that you 'shouldn't havedone that', then you start to question yourself. You begin to introspect andask, 'Is there something wrong with me?' When another person wronglyevaluates or misunderstands your communications or your state of mind,naturally this is upsetting. It means the other has not understood you. Yourenthusiasm wanes. You may accept this false evaluation - perhaps because of the authority or dominance of the other person. If you ignore your own feelingsand believe they must be right, you begin to follow their will, not your own. Apart of you has identified with the other person and split from the real you. Theyou that is responsible for your choices.This very commonly occurs with children, where they take on thecharacteristics of their parents. It is also very frequent in relationships whereone partner adjusts to match the other's expectations. And of course ithappens at work too. When our goals are suppressed by another - howeverwell meant - it is eventually life destroying. Negative evaluations (personalcriticisms, opinions) by another especially at times of stress can cause extremeupset.