7 Foolish Things Moms SayBy JoJo Tabares
Matthew 7:7 says, “
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
” What we look for, what we believe, what we expect, what we seek, we will find. If we expect that our children will be trouble, if we verbalie it, not only do we find it even in places where it doesn!t exist, but we also put that thou"ht into the #inds of our children. $ere are seven foolish thin"s #o#s say that create poor expectations for both parent and child and cause the very thin"s we are tryin" to avoid.
Johnny, how many times have I told you not to do these stupid things
Johnny’s always messing up his schoolwork
.” &his one isn!t a specific word or phrase but a series of thin"s #o#s say, either in front of or to their children, that tend to hu#iliate or focus on what the child doesn!t do well. &his e#barrasses the child, who then concentrates #ore ener"y on the proble# instead of the solution. “
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the ord
'arentin" isn!t for wi#ps. It!s an ei"hteen(year )or lon"er* tireless co##it#ent that tests your patience and brin"s you to the ed"e of your sanity in sleep deprivation. &his is why +od, in $is infinite wisdo#, "ives us nine #onths to prepare for babyhood and ei"hteen years to prepare our children for their adulthood. It!s understandable that parents so#eti#es "et overwhel#ed, but it!s i#portant not to speak out of our frustration or an"er. It!s i#perative that we take care not to da#a"e our children!s self(estee# by constantly pointin" out their flaws, especially in front of others.
Not now. I’m busy.
ayin" this fre-uently will "ive our children the i#pression that we either don!t have the ti#e or won!t take the ti#e for the# when they need us. Mo#s are so#e of the busiest people on the planet, but we should always re#e#ber our #ost precious char"e: our children. &hey should co#e first, and they should
that they co#e first. ot only should we #o#s not say this, but it!s e-ually i#portant not to "ive this i#pression with our body lan"ua"e. If children feel that we are too busy to talk to the#, they will feel as if they don!t #atter and will be less likely to co#e to us when they have a proble# or a concern. &his can be devastatin" when their concern is with
Do as I say, not as I do.
&his is /ust a silly sayin" in #y hu#ble opinion. 0es, there are thin"s adults can and should do that are not appropriate for children, but this sayin" "oes far beyond that. What this often co##unicates to our children is that we have the freedo# to #ake bad choices, but they do not. I!ve heard #any parents use this sayin" as an excuse to #ake bad decisions they don!t want their children to #ake. We are to set the exa#ple for our children. 1ourteen(year(old 2ohnny "ets in trouble for s#okin" and re#inds Mo# that she s#okes. “3o as I say, not as I do4” /ust doesn!t cut it here. Instead of "ivin" an order, explain why you started, why you wish you could -uit, and why you don!t want the sa#e for your son. &hat will #ake your case for you #uch #ore effectively than a #andate not to s#oke.