How to Write a Winning Abstract

for Grant Applications

Elena Kallestinova, PhD.
Graduate School Writing Center
The Challenge of Obtaining Funding
Reviewers Expectations at Initial
Reading
Interesting, innovative ideas that would
contribute to the field;
Solid data showing that the approach has
promise;
Evidence that the PI is well qualified to do the
research.
A crisp, specific project description with a
research plan that is well thought out;
Writing that is clear and concise.
The Reality of the Grant Review
Process
NIH Reviewers:
20 100 proposals for
reading;
6 8 proposals as
primary reviewers.
A grant application is not
science; it is the marketing of
science.
-J.L. Ferrara and A.H. Schmaier
Grant Writing as Genre of
Academic Writing
Type : Persuasive writing;
Purpose: to persuade proposal reviewers to
fund the proposed research
The abstract must sell the grant.
If I dont get interested by the first
page, the proposal is lost.
* NIH study section reviewers comments;
from Robert Porter, 2005. What Do Grant
Reviewers Really Want, Anyway?
Reviewers Remarks*
Abstracts are very important!
All your peer reviewers read your abstract.
Abstracts are used to decide where to
assign your application.
They show the importance and relevance of
your research.
Abstract Writing
Structure of an abstract;
Types of Abstracts;
Writing Principles;
Hands-on exercises.
Function of the Abstract
The function of the abstract is to
describe succinctly every major aspect
of the proposed project.
Structure of the Abstract
Brief background;
Problem
Objectives and hypotheses;
Preliminary results;
Methodology and/or strategy;
Significance and innovation;
Signals of the Structure
Problem
has not been determined
is unclear
X is limited by
The questions remains
whether
Objective
Our objective is
We propose to
We will examine the
hypothesis that
Strategy
We will achieve this goal by
Specifically, we will by
Our general strategy is to
Significance or impact
is important for
These results may play a role
in
Y can be used to
will provide insights into
Example
Global warming is arguably one of the most pressing
concerns of our time. However, we lack an effective model
to predict precisely by how much the temperature will rise
as a consequence of the increased levels of CO
2
and other
factors. The width of this range is due to several
uncertainties in different elements of the climate models,
including the variability in the Suns rate of energy output.
To gain greater insight into the relationship between solar
energy output and global temperature, we propose to
launch the internationally led ABC satellite in April 2012.
Our aim is to collect for 2 years data on the solar diameter
and shape, oscillations, and photospheric temperature
variation. We will assess these data to model solar
variability. Our findings will dramatically advance our
understanding of solar activity and its climate effects.
Background
Problem
Objective
Strategy
Significance
Example
X is a major human pathogen, which infects over
100 million people per year, leading to high
morbidity and mortality. Current therapies for X
are expensive, poorly tolerated, and only partially
effective in controlling the pathogens and in
limiting disease. Recently, we and other
succeeded in establishing a system to grow X in
cell culture. These systems will allow us to
completely dissect the life cycle of X. Our initial
characterization of cell culture-produced X
indicates unusual physical properties.
Understanding of Xs life cycle will aid in the
development of improved pharmaceuticals.
Problem
statement
is missing
Objective
is missing
Types of Abstracts
Technical Abstracts Lay Abstracts
The same content
Written for federal
agencies;
Contain shorter
background sections;
Elaborate on preliminary
results, research strategies
and specific aims.
Written for private
foundation and corporations;
Should be widely
understandable;
Contain longer background
sections and significance
sections.
Background Section
Most people over the age
of 35 years exhibit
emphysema, a major
manifestation of chronic
obstructive pulmonary
disease (COPD). Cigarette
smoke, pollutants, and
gender are thought to be
important determinants of
the severity of the
disorder.
Emphysema is a major subset of chronic
obstructive lung disease, predicted to
reach epidemic proportions by 2020.
The condition develops in most people
over the age of 35 and can lead to the
loss of oxygen exchange, lung
enlargement, and, if severe, complete
respiratory failure. Cigarette smoke,
pollutants, and gender are thought to be
important determinants of the severity
of the disorder.
Technical Abstract Lay Abstract
Problem Section
Disease-altering treatment or
reliable diagnostic features that can
be used to measure the progress of
the disease have not yet been
determined.
Curative therapies or
reliable diagnostic
biomarkers do not exist for
emphysema/ COPD.
Lay Abstract Technical Abstract
Objective Section
Therefore, we propose to
identify new diagnostic or
therapeutic targets for
emphysema by exploring its
underlying mechanisms.
Our objective is to identify
new diagnostic or therapeutic
targets for emphysema by
applying our recent discovery
of novel molecules in mouse
models to humans.
Lay Abstract Technical Abstract
Preliminary Results Section
Using genetically altered mouse
models, we have recently
discovered two novel molecules
involved in the development of
lung emphysema, X and Y. We
found that a substantial
increase in these molecules
destroys lung tissue, resulting
in emphysema. Interestingly,
both molecules are controlled
by a specific cell wall structure
(receptor Z).
Aging or cigarette smoke-exposed mice exhibit
lung changes that partially mimic human
emphysema, and mice deficient in toll-like
receptor Z, a canonical receptor for
lipopolysaccharides, exhibit an accelerated
form of spontaneous, age-induced
emphysema. We hypothesize that the
synergistic or addictive effects of age and
smoking on Z function in susceptible individuals
may explain the pathogenesis and temporal
characteristics of emphysema. We have
identified to molecules regulated by Z, an
oxidant-generating enzyme (X) and a protease
(y), and implicated both in the pathogenesis of
emphysema in mice.
Lay Abstract Technical Abstract
Strategy Section
We believe that the
synergistic or additive
effects of age and
cigarette smoke on Zs
function may explain
disease development and
characteristics.
This proposal will directly build on and
expand our pilot findings. Specifically,
we will first confirm the role of Z, X, and
Y in the pathogenesis of age-induced
and cigarette smoke-induced
emphysema and validate their roles as
therapeutic targets. Subsequently, we
will analyze molecular interactions of
these molecules in young and aged
people in relation to cigarette exposure,
gender, and emphysema/COPD.
Lay Abstract Technical Abstract
Significance Section
These studies will provide
important insights into the
pathophysiologic
mechanisms of emphysema,
ultimately leading to the
identification of novel
targets for diagnostic or
therapeutic interventions.
Analysis of the role of receptor Z,
as well as those of X and Y, in age-
induced and cigarette smoke-
induced emphysema will provide
insights into the underlying
mechanism of the disorder and
may ultimately lead to the
identification of novel targets for
diagnostic and therapeutic
interventions.
Lay Abstract Technical Abstract
Type Differences
Technical Abstracts
Assume background
knowledge;
Few justifications;
Extensive use of
terminology;
Few definitions and
examples;
Few linking phrases.
Lay Abstracts
Require background;
Frequent initial purpose
clauses;
Terminology is used with
caution;
More definitions and
examples;
Wide range of linking phrases.
Avoid in abstracts:
Any information not covered in
your proposal;
Any confidential information;
Graphs or images;
Citations.
Common Problems with Abstracts
Excessive length;
Unclear sentences.
Writing problems
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence
should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the
same reason that a drawing should have no
unnecessary lines and a machine no
unnecessary parts. This requires not that the
writer make all his sentences short, or that he
avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in
outline, but that every word tell.
William Strunk, Jr.
in Elements of Style
From Wordy to Concise Sentences
Tips to Avoid Wordy Abstracts
Level of Vocabulary;
Level of Grammar;
Level of Content.
Avoid Redundancies
circle around;
final outcome;
new innovations;
particular interest;
summarize briefly;
shorter/longer in length;
puzzling in nature;
already existing;
completely eliminate;
basic fundamentals;
estimates roughly at;
period of time;
main essentials;
true facts.
Avoid Abbreviated Redundancies
HIV virus = Human Immunodeficiency
Virus;
AIDS syndrome = Acquired ImmunoDeficiency
Syndrome;
CPU unit = Central Processing Unit;
Avoid Useless and Emotional
Intensifiers
Really, always, very, quite, extremely, severely,
clearly, certainly, essentially, actually:
The results clearly show that the protein was
absent in the fraction.
The results show that
Our results may indicate that siRNA duplex
possibly caused an RNA interference effect.
Our results suggest that siRNA duplex causes an
RNA interference effect.
Use Simpler Vocabulary
A large number of = many;
Along the lines = like;
As a general rule = generally;
Exhibits the ability = can;
On the occasion of = when;
Is equipped with = contains;
In the light of the fact = because.
Level of Grammar
Trim your clauses or phrases.
Omit Overview Phrases and
Sentences
Recent studies described/reported that
The experiment shows that
Our recent studies reported that intracellular calcium
is released when adipocytes are stimulated with
insulin. (15 words)
Intracellular calcium is released when adipocytes are
stimulated with insulin. (10 words)
We found a signature marker, which was the
interleukin-7 receptor alpha-chain, that distinguished
the subset of effector cells that would survive and
develop into memory CD8 T cells from those that
would die.
We found a signature marker, the interleukin-7
receptor alpha-chain, that distinguished the subset
of effector cells surviving and developing into
memory CD8 T cells.
Shorten Which/that clauses
Avoid Expletive Constructions
there is/are or it is
There is fellowship training in Allergy and Clinical
Immunology and Pulmonary Medicine at Yale
University.
Yale University provides fellowship training in Allergy
and Clinical immunology and Pulmonary Medicine.
Level of Content
Condense background;
Omit or subordinate less important
information:
Definitions;
Experimental preparations;
Details on methods;
Exact data;
Confirmatory results;
Comparisons with previous studies.
Clarity and Simplicity of
Your Ideas
The abstract should distil the essential
elements of the research project into
short, concise, and clear statements.
Your reviewer is reading through the
proposals, but shes left at the last
moment. Its 6 a.m. on the day shes
flying to Washington. Shes sitting at
the bus stop, its raining, she has the
flu, and shes got your proposal in front
of her. Your writing should be able to
persuade her that this is a great
proposal, even under those conditions.
(Brett Tyler, Virginia Bioinformatics
Institute).
Clarity and Simplicity of Your Ideas
Level of Vocabulary
Most unclear sentences result
from nominalizations:
Verbs: discover - discovery,
resist - resistance,
react - reaction,
fly - flying.
Adjectives: different - difference,
proficient - proficiency,
important - importance,
careless - carelessness.
Put the Action into the Verb
Sentences with action verbs are
natural, direct, and easy to understand.
Make decision - decide
Cause a decrease - decreased
Be a failure - fail
Have a tendency - tend
Example 1.
An increase in heart rate occurred.
Heart rate increased.
Example 2.
These studies contributed to the identification of
the cellular progenitors of memory CD8 T cells..
These studies helped to identify the cellular
progenitors of memory CD8 T cells.
Avoid Weak Verbs
be, have, do, make, cause, provide, get,
seem
Avoid Noun Clusters
Nouns are commonly used as modifiers:
Blood flow;
Protein metabolism;
Lung function.
Do not add another noun to an
existing noun pair:
Filament length variability
Air space phospholipid pool
Untangling Noun Clusters
Filament length variability
Variability of filament length
Air space phospholipid pool
Phospholipid pool in the air space
Chronic sheep experiments
Chronic experiments in sheep
Choose your words wisely:
affect vs. effect; among vs. between;
since vs. before; interval vs. period
How smoking affects the health is still a
matter if concern to physicians. (to act on
or influence)
We studied the effect of the X on MZ1
cells. (a result condition)
Avoid Ungrammatical Forms of
Words
Words with the suffixes ability, -zation, -
ology or -ized.
Changeability of X occurs when Y is added.
X can change when Y is added.
Keep abbreviations to a minimum
MPTP is converted by MAOB to MPP,
which reaches SNpc nerve cells via DA
uptake systems.
Level of Grammar
For snoring?! Hell, thats nothing.
I once shot a man for ending a
sentence in a preposition.
Avoid phrases or clauses between the
subject and the predicate
Estrogen, through engagement of membrane
receptors, stimulates rapid endothelial cell signaling.
Estrogen stimulates rapid endothelial cell signaling
through engagement of membrane receptors.
Sentences are better understood if the
subject and verb are not interrupted.
Write Shorter Sentences
Easy to understand ( 20-22 words);
Emphasize the idea;
Weigh more;
It is generally accepted in the field of
medicine that rheumatic fever is an
autoimmune disease.
Rheumatic fever is an autoimmune disease.
Level of Content
Use Clear Pronouns
Avoid missing pronoun antecedents.
We have a clearer understanding of the signals
controlling formation of memory CD8 T cells
during bacterial infection, and this will greatly
impact new generation vaccines and
immunotherapies.
This knowledge will greatly impact new
generation vaccines and immunotherapies.
Avoid ambiguous pronoun
antecedents
Laboratory animals are not susceptible to
these diseases, so research on them is
hampered.
Research on these diseases is hampered
because laboratory animals are not
susceptible to them.
Avoid ambiguous comparisons
Our results are similar to previous studies.
Our results are similar to the results of
previous studies.
Our results are similar to those of previous
studies.
Begin sentences with information
familiar to your reader.
End sentences with information
that readers cannot anticipate.
Go From Old to New
Volcanic pipes are composed of a deep
narrow cone.
a. Solidified magma usually fills the cone.
b. The cone is usually filled with solidified
magma.
Example
Macular degeneration is affected by diet.
a. Vitamin B6 is one of the diet
components that influences the
progression of macular degeneration
b. One of the diet components that
influences the progression of macular
degeneration is vitamin B6.
Checkpoint
Abstract does not omit any part;
It is written with the reader in mind;
It meets the word count limitations;
Its ideas are clearly expressed.
From S.K. Inouye and D.A. Fiellin. 2005. An Evidence-Based Guide to Writing
Grant Proposals for Clinical Research.
Task Timeline (months before submission)
References
Barnard, Stephanie, et al. 2001. Writing, Speaking, Communication Skills for Health Professionals. Yale
University Press.
Booth, Wayne C., Gregory G. Colomb, and Joseph M. Williams. 2008. The Craft of Research. The
University of Chicago Press.
Hofmann, Angelika. 2009. Scientific Writing and Communication. Oxford University Press.
Zeiger, Mimi. 2000. Essentials of Writing Biomedical Research Papers. McGraw-Hill Companies.
Williams, Joseph M. 2007 Style: Lessons in Clarity. Pearson, Longman.
Robert Porter, 2005. What Do Grant Reviewers Really Want, Anyway? Journal of Research
Administration, April.
Inouye, Sharon K. and David A. Fiellin. 2005. An Evidence-Based Guide to Writing Grant Proposals for
Clinical Research. Annals of Internal Medicine, 142:274-82.
Ferrara J.L. and A.H. Schmaier. 2002. Hematology grants workshop. Hematology American Society
Hematology Education Program, 484-9.
Strunk, William. Elements of Style. Ithaca, N.Y.: Priv. print. [Geneva, N.Y.: Press of W.P. Humphrey], 1918;
Bartleby.com, 1999. www.bartleby.com/141/.
Most of the examples are taken and adapted for educational purposes from NIH Abstract Reporter of
funded grant proposals publicly available at www.projectreporter.nih.gov/reporter.cfm.