The biggest mistake most men make in terms of Dates is going for the phone number assoon as she is attracted, and not pushing the relationship forward. Then they assume thatthe woman will meet them again, and they can continue where they left off, only to get“flaked.” They never meet up.
Why? Let’s look at the situation from a woman’s perspective:She goes out to a restaurant with her friends. While waiting at the bar, an interesting manapproaches her. 3-5 minutes later (about how long it should take to get some attraction going),he asks for her number so they can “hang out sometime.” At that moment, she genuinely would“hang out” with this man “sometime”...... but it doesn’t turn out that way.See, going out “sometime” is different from going out Thursday night. To see her “sometime”all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That’s a pretty low standard, so of course she’ll agree to it. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you.However, most worthwhile women rarely have “nothing else to do.”So, to see her at a specific time, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could bedoing, like friends, hobbies, work, other dates, or relaxing at home. That’s a tough standard tomeet in 3-5 minutes. Especially since over the course of the night she met a bunch of other men.Did you think you were the only man to notice her? She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn’t have time to go on 9 dates this week.
A woman is going to look for reasons NOT to go out with you.
Remember, meeting up with strange men is scary for a woman. First, there are issues of physical safety. If she’s not comfortable with you, she may feel the risk of date rape or worse.Less dramatically is the hyper-developed fear that many women have of being in awkwardsocial situations. Women do not generally go by themselves to interact socially with strangers.So, they bring a friend. To a man, the idea that you might not have a great time with thiswoman is irrelevant. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Maybe you don’t care, because she’s beautiful. Either way, you’ll never know if you don’t meet up. Worst case scenario is you cut itshort early and go home. Men don’t agonize and worry over whether it will be sociallyawkward or not. But, many women do, and we need to take this into account.It should be clear by now that a quick interaction leading to some basic attraction and “weshould hang out sometime” is rarely going to lead an exceptionally desirable woman into seeingyou again. She fears safety, she fears social awkwardness, and who is this guy anyway? She’s busy and she only met you for five minutes. If she’s really trying to convince herself not toshow up, she’ll wonder why you’d even call her when you only met for a few minutes and youknow so little about her (after all, you spent that time attracting her as opposed to learning abouther). Are you desperate? Or are you a player?