Love Systems Insider
Date: April 2007
Observations from a Los Angeles Bootcamp
Last weekend,The DonandI, with three assistant instructors, taught another great and
In no particular order, here are some thoughts and observations that were sparked this weekend,though of course they come from all of the bootcamps at which I've taught over the past fewyears:
Qualification is the hardest part of the game for someone new. The mechanics aren'tterribly complicated, but it can be tough for men who are not used to getting so muchattraction from women so quickly (some of our students are quite advanced already;these guys usually have different problems that I will cover below) to "risk" thatattraction by making her work for your interest. In truth, you are risking nothing – attracting a woman without qualifying her does not usually get you very far and oftenleads to lots of flakes as well as difficulties in the seduction phase.KEY INSIGHT TO REMEMBER: If she doesn't feel like she knows why you like her,then you're not building on a solid foundation. I chose my words carefully by the way – she has to "feel like she knows" as opposed to "know" – while qualification can bedescribed as a logical process, to most women it's an emotional one. Does she feel thatshe showed you something about herself that made her unique in your eyes and madeyou interested in her?
More advanced bootcamp students often suffer from either setting their sights too low or not having a coherent identity. At pretty much every bootcamp there are at least a coupleof men who can consistently meet women, attract them, make plans, and get phonenumbers. What we teach these men to do is A) go for the most desirable women and B) push the interaction beyond a phone number (you don't need to take her home, thoughthat's often the goal, but moving to any different location will solidify her interest in youand the connection you build). Often when these successful men try to play on thisharder level, other issues in their game surface which we can then correct. One of themost common of these is identity. A highly-desirable woman has to know who you are(usually expressed by your choice of profession or serious hobby) and you must act andappear to be consistent with this identity. For highly-desirable women, this identityshould be one that she would feel proud to be associated with.KEY INSIGHT TO REMEMBER: Never settle for a phone number. Never settle for women who aren't as desirable to you as others you would like to meet. Figure out whoyou are so that you have a good, but not bragging, answer to the question "what do youdo" and ensure that you act and dress and surround yourself with people who areconsistent with this identity. If your identity is not itself attractive, either present it