search for the meaning of consciousness

i have searched the hollow hills and fields

to mountain breast and flows of sea-ice frozen cragged
where desert winds blow wind-dusted in scorching heat
through night visions tongues licking-hot
simmering speech rectify the mean world
the mean life the dull throb of monotony
the meanness of boredom at every corner
brick-cobbled trodden path rising filled with
wasted days eating fucking sleeping smoking laughing
and the meanness of death
a ruse played by the rab-tevyas of pogrom-ville
popes of styx shiva gods river gods cobra gods
giant sperm whale gods of cocks and crows
tongue of ty-bets mouthing mantra lingo
light bulb flames sizzle spew warm breath as night falls
slacking along streets well-worn well-trod
age outshines that final glow-bulb of wattage dim
the soft whining babies pink-perched in the starry tree night
falling at dawn the slow-down dawn
children fresh dewey-eyed rampant with life
i have searched where beats a heart of conscious thought