pharmacology, and I grew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee.Gout, in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had seized me without my being awareof it; and zymosis I had evidently been suffering with from boyhood. There were no morediseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me.I sat and pondered. I thought what an interesting case I must be from a medical point of view, what an acquisition I should be to a class! Students would have no need to "walk thehospitals," if they had me. I was a hospital in myself. All they need do would be to walkround me, and, after that, take their diploma.Then I wondered how long I had to live. I tried to examine myself. I felt my pulse. I couldnot at first feel any pulse at all. Then, all of a sudden, it seemed to start off. I pulled out mywatch and timed it. I made it a hundred and forty-seven to the minute. I tried to feel myheart. I could not feel my heart. It had stopped beating. I have since been induced to cometo the opinion that it must have been there all the time, and must have been beating, but Icannot account for it. I patted myself all over my front, from what I call my waist up to myhead, and I went a bit round each side, and a little way up the back. But I could not feel or hear anything. I tried to look at my tongue. I stuck it out as far as ever it would go, and Ishut one eye, and tried to examine it with the other. I could only see the tip, and the onlything that I could gain from that was to feel more certain than before that I had scarletfever.I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.I went to my medical man. He is an old chum of mine, and feels my pulse, and looks at mytongue, and talks about the weather, all for nothing, when I fancy I'm ill; so I thought Iwould do him a good turn by going to him now. "What a doctor wants," I said, "is practice.He shall have me. He will get more practice out of me than out of seventeen hundred of your ordinary, commonplace patients, with only one or two diseases each." So I wentstraight up and saw him, and he said:"Well, what's the matter with you?"I said:"I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life isbrief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But I will tell you what is NOT thematter with me. I have not got housemaid's knee. Why I have not got housemaid's knee, Icannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, IHAVE got." And I told him how I came to discover it all.Then he opened me and looked down me, and clutched hold of my wrist, and then he hitme over the chest when I wasn't expecting it - a cowardly thing to do, I call it - andimmediately afterwards butted me with the side of his head. After that, he sat down andwrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and wentout.I did not open it. I took it to the nearest chemist's, and handed it in.