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Consciously Choose Your Social SystemSummary: Why is it important to consciously choose your social system? We areborn into a family which is a social system and we react to the rest of the worldbased on how we interact with our original social system. Now you are an adult,you want to be aware of your social system and be deliberate about who you chooseto allow into your space.We human beings are social beings. Oftentimes, we forget that we are socialbeings. It is important to remember this, not just when there is a loss of somesort in our lives but all the time. When you are too busy pursuing your career andfinancial goals, you loose your ability to connect with other human beings. Howare your social connections? If you work for a large company, are you aware thatcompany is a social system? Your community is a social system and if you have alarge enough family, that is a social system.Are you aware of the social system that you belong to? Are you giving to it? Areyou taking from it? Being deliberate about your social system is critical to yourlife reinvention process. There are some old relationships that you want torekindle. There are some you want to let go of. Let them go. Rekindle those thatmatter.Whenever we engage with our social system our brains continuously scan forinformation that assess whether the person we are engaging in is a threat or areward. If we perceive an interaction as a threat, we recoil and if perceive it asa reward, we engage more fully.Some of us, having focused on work and career for so many years may have neglectedto develop strong social skills and we end up unconsciously reacting tointeractions with other people as threats.Be more deliberate in your interactions and look for those reward experiences andenjoy them. The reward experiences create the release of hormones and chemicals inour bodies that enhance our health and well-being. The reward experiences arepowerful and we want to follow the trial that they leave behind.Within these social relationships, do not forget your intimate relationships. Ifyou are intimately involved with someone, get physical in an affectionate way andmake it part of your weekly and daily routine to incorporate touch and affectioninto your life. If you have a partner, reinvent your sex life! It is important.Did you know that if a baby is not held and touched by other humans, the babydies? What do you think happens with that when we grow up? We still need touch,physical and emotional connection. It is part of our neural wiring.So expand your social networks. Take risks. Enjoy new connections. Experience therewards of positive relationships. Look for those relationships across multipledimensions. Enjoy lots of hugs and smiles. Give them and take them.Relate with people from all age groups. Kids. The Elderly. People with Down’sSyndrome. Kids with autism. Disadvantaged kids. Intellectuals. College students.Blue Collar workers. White collar workers. People outside your own race. Peopleoutside your sexual orientation.When you stretch your social network like this, you are developing new neuralpatterns that reduce your brain’s perception of threats and overall releaseshormones of reward which include oxytocin.
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