Next day I took the bus to school again. He was riding it like the past 3 days. There was an empty seat next to him and I could see him looking at me, kindof inviting to sit next to him. It was so tempting I thought of it for a secondbut then I chickened out and grabbed a seat a bit farther opposite to him. Icould see a hint of disappointment on his face, or at least that’s what Ithought. During school I could not think of anything else but him. It was anawkward feeling that totally captured me, just like being in love but stillstrange and different. Actually I have never been in love so I could not know,but I sure thought it was actually love. The thought itself kinda gave me thecreeps but it did feel good indeed. Well the word good is a tad strong for itbecause since the time I glimpsed at him I had this weird feeling I can notreally explain. I guess to put is best way was that I felt like I wanted to get toknow him and wanted to get close to him but also was afraid to make anymove. Him staring at me even made it more difficult because I could notmake out if he also wanted to get to know me or was just staring at mebecause I acted funny.By the end of the week I was totally out of order. I had no clue what wasgoing on with me. All I knew was that I wanted to see him and be close tohim. I wanted to talk to him, become his best friend – the one he shareseverything with. I even wanted to touch him and hug him. It was a feeling Ihad no control over. By this time I was pretty sure I was in love with him. Thereal problem was that it kinda seemed like he was interested in me as well,but none of us made a move. I did not dare to do anything, and he seemedlike the same. I was so confused as never in my life before. What if hedoesn’t even care about me? What if he has a girlfriend? I almost startedcrying. I have never in my life – which was not much actually, only 17 years –have felt this bad. At this point I felt like there is nothing I could – or woulddare to do in this situation.My thoughts were spinning and getting further and further away from facts. Iimagined him with a girl, laughing at me, as a stupid jerk who stared at him.