Speed Seduction 3 Disc Eight

Speed Seduction 3.
0

Program Transcript:
Disc Eight

Created By
Ross Jeffries
Getting Some

Website:
http://www.speedseduction.biz

The Guru of

For the smart guy who refuses

to resort to bullying, begging,

Copyright 2008, Ross Jeffries. All Rights Reserved.
This transcript may not be duplicated without written permission
buying, bs or booze, in his pursuit of happiness.

from the author.
Disclaimer

This program may contain viewpoints that may be considered controversial by certain
audiences. It is intended as a powerful guide for self-respecting, intelligent men who
are looking to avoid from "real-hate-shun-ships by default" and instead claim the
happiness that they deserve.

I, Ross Jeffries, Ghita Services., Inc, and/or SpeedSeduction.biz (or any of our other
websites or entities) cannot and will not be held responsible in any way for your actions,
and will not be held liable for any and all claims from you or any other third party.

You alone are responsible for your decisions and actions, even if they have an impact
on others. This information is meant for "entertainment" purposes only.

While this transcript contains information, tips, tools, and strategies that are
recommended by us and, in most cases, have succeeded when applied by others, this
product and its contents carry no warranty or guarantee (either explicit or implied) that
the purchaser or reader will achieve success with women, or in any other endeavor for
which they may be used.

Ross: Do you see how easily hes able to learn when you slow down? You
remembered what I said. You were able to put it together in your mind and
come up with a beautiful application because you slowed down. Do you
see the power of it? It almost gives me a woody because Im such a good
teacher.

Do you know what else? I know someone who used to do this. He would
be at a bar. He would be talking to girls. He would say, What youre really
saying is if you could meet a guy who makes you feel connected and that
sense of destiny to the point where you say Mmmm, that would be
incredible, wouldnt it? Then he sits down on the chair. Its all anchored.

Anchoring is really simple. You dont need to take a course in it. Does
anybody know who John Wooden was? You wouldnt. UCLA, my school
where I went, had the worlds best basketball team. When John Wooden
was coach, for about 30 years, they won the NCAA Championship about
28 years out of that 30. He was arguably the greatest college basketball
coach in the world.

John Wooden only had one play. He had one defensive play, which was
man-on-man. He had one offensive play, which was the fast break. His
players were drilled over and over again in taking one kind of shot, which
was a 15-foot shot from basically the free-throw line.

He trained his players that, when they would get the ball, they didnt do
any fancy stuff. They would always stop at the free-throw line and pass
the ball effectively. There was no point in their opponents ever scouting
UCLA to find out what their plays were because they were obvious. There
was only one, but they drilled them over and over again, so they did it to
perfection.

Speed Seduction 3.0 | Program Transcript Disc Eight
Website http://www.speedseduction.biz
1
You dont need to have 20 different ways to anchor people. You just need
one or two. You can anchor by stacking things on your thumb and doing
this. You can put things in your hands. Thats another way.

When you think about someone you want to have wild sex with, I know my
face doesnt immediately pop into mind. You can put things in your hands
and imagine theyre there in your hands. Thats another way to anchor. Its
very simple.

You can anchor things to an object, to a chair. Heres another wicked one.
Ive done this. Youre talking to the girl. You have your drink here. Shes
telling you about the things that turn you on. You say, So, what youre
really saying is if you could be with someone whos a great kisser, or
whatever quality shes looking for, and then you look at your hand.

Look at your hand, guys. Practice with me looking at your hand. Why do I
look at her hand? I want to direct her attention to what Im doing. If you
could be with someone who makes you really laugh, has great hands and
is a scandalous kisser, where do you think that could lead? They dont
get it.

How many times have you done this?

Participant: Thirty-five or 40 times.

Ross: How many times has it actually worked to get a strong response?

Participant: Its never failed to get a strong response.

Ross: Its always worked. Its worked 100%. Have you ever been caught?

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Participant: Never. One time a girl repeated it.

Ross: Good. Shes putting it in.

Participant: I also put a bit of a challenge as well. Ill say, When you have those three
qualities in front of you, what it is it about this person that would make you
come back for more?

Ross: Ooh. So he says, If you could be with someone who has this, this and
this, what is it about them that would make you want to come back for
more? Thats beautiful. Now hes not only anchoring all of that stuff to
him, but hes also challenging them to jump through the hoop and explain
why theyre worth it.

Participant: Theres a little bit of fractionating in there too.

Ross: Thats right. By the way, Ive used a similar thing when women say, Im
not going to go out with you because I know who you are and you just
want to fuck me. I turn around and say, If I was a woman, I would have
so much confidence in my ability to fuck my brains out. I know that that
person would keep coming back for more because the sex would be so
fantastic.

That gets rid of the objection. Thats brilliant. Jonathan, this is an example
of a student improving on what I do by adding in an element. I taught you
that element, but I never put it together in that way.

When you meet someone who has this, this and this, what is it about you
that would keep this person coming back for more? It forces her to begin
to describe her good qualities and try to prove to you that shes
worthwhile.
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Participant: I used it once. The girl said, Well, Im also a really good kisser. She
couldnt come with any other stuff.

Ross: What you have to say is, Prove it.

Participant: I said, Thats all I want to know about you. Then I kissed her.

Ross: Good. Do we get how this works? You could do this with anything, even if
its not a formal quiz. In the course of talking, if you pick up that her trance
words are destiny, energy and ecstasy, you could say, Isnt it interesting
that, if you were to meet someone who made you feel that energy, destiny
and ecstasy, how it could lead to something that would take you in a
whole new direction?

Its almost like theres a much bigger part you want to take on tonight.
Then you can say, Why dont we go somewhere where we can really
focus in without all this noise, really relax and enjoy. Notice the part
where we can really relax and enjoy. Enjoy what? I dont say. It keeps it
safe. It also gets her to imagine it.

If I said, Why dont we go somewhere where we can relax and focus in,
where its quiet? We can really enjoy making out and fucking like crazed
weasels, that might often work by this point.

Participant: Are there any methods you can use to memorize all this stuff, like actors
would use?

Ross: What stuff?

Participant: Everything. I mean all the lines.
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Ross: First and foremost, dont memorize. Understand. Look at me. Understand
how it works. If you understand the principles, you can come up with your
own stuff for your own unique combinations. Im very serious. This is as
important for you as it was for him to slow down and vary his intensity.

First, understand how it works. Second, if you want to memorize it,
rehearse it out loud. Dont rehearse it out loud just sitting there. Actually
get up and move the way you would move if you were doing it. Imagine
the person in front of you. If you really want to add a kicker, imagine being
inside the other person listening to you have all the responses you would
like them to have.

Thats a great thing to rehearse before you go out sarging. I was going to
talk about this when I wrapped up. Before you go out sarging, rehearse all
of this.

Then imagine taking on the perspective of a woman hearing all this and
getting really turned on in her body and thinking, I really want to fuck this
guy. You would be surprised how that communicates a great message,
and you wind up having that happen.

Look at me. This is a subtle point. Instead of rehearsing failure and being
rejected, why dont you rehearse being inside the woman and being totally
turned on and wanting to fuck you as a result of what youre saying? That
is really powerful. It sends a message out. Notice I didnt say to rehearse
being accepted and succeeding.

Participant: Does that mean if youre rehearsing inside of yourself superior
performance from the time you go out, talking with a woman, closing it,
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and youre rehearsing this stuff over and over in your head, youre going to
perform because youre going to push yourself to be on it?

Ross: Right, but I didnt say superior. Theres an important distinction. You dont
need superiority. You just need to be effective. Sometimes effective is just
very simple. Sometimes the most effective thing you can do is pick the
right subject. Thats a quote. Write that down. Its Ross Jeffries quote.
Sometimes the most effective thing you can do is to pick the right
subject.

You cant pick the right subject unless you know what kind of energy and
vibe youre looking for in a woman. To get the skill at picking the right
subject, you must spend some time in study, whether youre meditating,
going out for a walk, hiking or taking a shower.

You must spend some time beginning to discover the energy and vibe of
the women you would like to be with so that you know, instinctively and
intuitively, how to pick the right subjects.

In this dream, it was a way of my mind, my unconscious, deeply
rehearsing the kind of energy that I would like to be with in a woman who I
would deeply love, perhaps for a lifetime. You need to spend some time
not only rehearsing the skills, beliefs and concepts, but also tuning into the
type of energy and vibe in the woman, the type of personality that you
would like to attract.

Certainly, what I dont want is someone who needs to be persuaded to
have sex with anyone at all, someone who doesnt enjoy sex. Its not my
job to take a cold, sexually turned-off or freaked-out woman and try to
make her open to life. Thats not my job.

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Its not my job to take someone whos terrified of taking any kind of step
and making her into an adventurous person. Its not my job to take
someone whos a selfish person and make her into a giver. Its not my job
to take an angry, enraged person and make them into a happy, open
person. This is not my job.

All the things Ive said to you, notwithstanding people having their first
responses and people really having these patterns, Im not out to teach
them. Im out to teach you guys. Its not my job to be their transformer,
healer or therapist.

Any time it begins to feel like work, like Im pushing the snowball up the
hill, its not SpeedSeduction. If Im pushing the snowball down the hill,
riding on it as it goes, and screaming, Whee! thats SpeedSeduction.
Then she eats my ice cream cone on the way down. Thats
SpeedSeduction.

If it feels like Im pushing hard, the timing is really off, shes not bringing
her own mind to the exploration, shes not fun, shes not healthy or she
doesnt have some reasonable ability to control the circumstances of her
life, I dont want to deal with it.

Many women who are flaky are not flaky because they dont like you. Its
just that their life is totally chaotic and out of control. Their parole officer
tried to rape them and walked in on them shooting heroin with their twin
brother whos cheating on them with their mother. Its that whole Jerry
Springer thing. I was on that show three times, by the way, before it was
violent.

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I love a kung fu lesbian teenage Siamese twin vampire who lives in a
trailer park on the dole. No. I was on Jerry Springer teaching this. Ive
been talking about this for a long time.

You need to decide and explore for yourself in different ways what is the
vibe and the type of women you want to attract. Sometimes you can only
do that by having many experiences and seeing what you like and what
you dont.

The lesbian who had you duct-taped to the bed to fulfill her rape fantasies,
did she want you to slap her and choke her when you were fucking her?
Certainly thats someone who would be fun, but I dont know if youd want
to take her home to family supper. It might liven up Shabbat dinner at my
sister Marions house.

My nephews would like it. I wont tell you their nickname for me because
its a family nickname. Whenever I bring over a beautiful girl, they say,
Uncle blank-blank has brought someone else again.

They dont do this anymore. My nephew Gideons girlfriend is smoking
hot. Shes half Israeli-half Italian. Shes not only gorgeous, but she has a
great attitude. Shes really spicy and spunky. She calls me Uncle, but
she flirts with me. She told me she was having dreams about me. She
said, Uncle, I want to talk to you. Ive been having dreams about you. I
said, Really? Tell me, Niece.

She said, In this dream, Im in the swimming pool outside in the backyard.
Your voice is calling to me under the water. I try to fight it, but I feel myself
being pulled downward irresistibly. I cant control it. The water just takes
me. Your voice is down there waiting for me. Ive had this dream several
nights in a row, Uncle.
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I said, Martinique, if youre asking me if Im doing something to you
psychically, Im not. I really wasnt. I said, I love my nephew. I would
never do that to him. Maybe I represent a level of power and maturity that
you feel is really attractive, but youre not ready for it yet. Thats why you
fight the tug. She said, I think youre right. My nephew no longer cares.
He has his needs well taken care of.

Participant: What was it, instead of rehearsing something rejection?

Ross: Instead of rehearsing rejection, rehearse how women will feel as they
totally want to fuck you as a result of what youre saying. I want you to
rehearse out loud what youd say and what youd do. Then I want you to
fractionate and take on the womans perspective, being on the receiving
end of this, how she would feel in her body.

Im so proud of you guys. Youve become great learners since Friday.
Youre on it. Youre learning. Youre participating. Youre demonstrating
great understanding. Youre a fantastic audience. This is fun.

Remember that I said I dont want to perform emotional dentistry? I dont
want to have to pull her emotional teeth. If a woman is chaotic, if she
doesnt have her life organized, I dont want to deal with it. They have to
have a moderate level, at least a good degree of control over the
circumstance of their life.

Otherwise, I dont have the time. Im too busy. I have too much on my
mind. This job Im doing now is just part of what Im working on. I dont
have time for people who waste my time, who cant follow through. I just
dont.

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Participant: Who rehearses in the context of equanimity as well?

Ross: You mean not grasping onto it? Thats far too complex a question to ask
for most people here. Youre right. Thats very advanced thinking on your
part. Youre Indian, by extraction, arent you?

Participant: Yes.

Ross: My Indian students are always the smartest. Shame on you, white people.
Im the Omega male. No, hes not good at sarging.

This afternoon, I want to do the following things. I want to cover how to
install those four vibes that are really attractive to women, how to use
them in the openers and then how to carry them through the entire sarge.

This afternoon, were going to do vibe and the walk-up diamond openers.
Since you guys want it, you want some different sequence of patterns, Im
going to give it to you since you feel you need the training wheels. Ill give
you your training wheels. Were going to do a little bit more on the
meditation exercise that you need. Then well take some more questions.

You know what, Shirleen? If you want to take another 45 minutes to flit
about, I want to do the openers with them. Youre welcome to stay, but I
wont need you to teach for another 45 minutes to an hour. Shirleen also
has CDs for sale. Theyre in the back of the room. Shes told me shell
take the curse off me if youll buy them.

I want to congratulate you guys. I was absolutely thrilled to see the level of
participation this morning when I shared that dream with you. You guys
were spot on. I mean really good at even educating me. I did not realize
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some of the dynamics of what made that work. I really did not. You guys
educated me. Seriously, give yourself a pat on the back.

This afternoon, were going to get into the vibe and openers. Then were
going to show you sequences, a couple of examples of what would make
for a successful sarge because you want that, right? You guys need some
sense of a roadmap, some kind of training wheels that you can run on
before you take off the wheels and just go. I understand that.

Ive been promising that to you. I had to lay the groundwork first. Now you
have a good working understanding of how this stuff works. Now when I
show it to you, you wont be scratching your ass, sticking your thumb in
your rectum and saying, Uhhh.

This is really interesting. I came up with this right around Christmastime
this past year. I was really thinking about this whole program of nailing
your inner game. People have asked about those DVDs and CDs. Thats
my bad. Im still working on it. We have your names and addresses.
Eventually well get them to you. Be patient with me. I will send you
updates in emails.

Ive been working on this idea. Lets say you get guys to stop doing all that
reinforcing and ruminating. Thats all gone. You give them beliefs for
learning. How are you going to teach them what to pay attention to and
what to ignore? When you set out and do a sarge, as I said, one of the
most challenging things is confusion. Youre not quite sure what worked or
what went wrong.

In James case, he got good positive feedback. When that lesbian lifted
her skirt, pulled aside her panties, showed him, said, Look, its dripping,
took him home and said, Duct tape me, please, and fuck my brains out,
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theres no ambiguity there. Theres no uncertainty in your mind that you
had a 100% successful outcome.

James: The first time I ever used the pattern, it was a different story.

Ross: Dont gainsay me here. For the point of the story, when that happened,
you had success. There was no confusion there. The bottom line is there
is usually no confusion at the peak of your skills because its all working.
When you have no skill at all, theres no confusion. You know youre
failing because nothings happening.

When you start to move up the learning curve, often what happens is
youre not sure what to pay attention to. You dont know at what level or at
what point in the sarge things are not working so it gets confusing. Am I
right or am I right? Raise your hands if youve experienced this.

The single biggest challenge for those of you in the back of the room who
teach these skill sets, whether you teach your own or mine, Im telling you
right now is not approach-anxiety or fear. To be certain, those are
important. The single biggest thing is confusion, not knowing if theyre
being effective or not. Are they becoming attractive or are they not
becoming attractive?

Its that fractionation back and forth between thinking it is working and
then thinking its not working thats deeply confusing. Youre fractionating
yourselves in a way that is not useful. Heres one thing I came up with that
I think is very useful. When youre looking at any kind of skill set, but
especially sarging, one thing to look at is to chunk it according to time.

Maybe you need to improve what youre doing in the preparation phase.
Maybe theres something you need to do more of, do differently, do less
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of, subtract or add in. Before you go out and sarge, are you doing the right
preparation? Are you visualizing how youre going to behave? Are you
rehearsing the basics? Are you putting on the right vibe when you go out?

You may need to make some improvements in the preparation phase.
Bear in mind, here are the ways you can improve. This is where I do want
you to write notes. There are those things you need to add in. It may be
that theres simply something that youre entirely missing that you need to
add in.

You may need to add something in. That could be a skill set, a belief, a
vibe, an attitude. There may be something you need to add in. Does that
make sense? There may be something you need to subtract out. This is in
any phase of improvement, whether before, during or after. There are
things you need to add in, things you need to subtract out.

There may be things that you need to diminish. Its not that you shouldnt
do them. Maybe you need to diminish the intensity. You may need to
diminish the frequency. In other words, dont do it as often. You can
diminish the speed at which you do something. Do things slower.

You may want to diminish the amount of internal dialog. Dont let it go
entirely, but really turn it down. There are those aspects you need to
diminish. You may need to add in, subtract in or diminish. You may need
to increase or intensify.

You can increase the overall energetic intensity. You could increase your
volume. You could increase your speed. You could increase the number
of repetitions you simply go out and do. Instead of talking to five women,
maybe you have to increase it and talk to 20.

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You can increase the amount that you listen or the proportion of how you
do something. Maybe you actually increase the amount of listening as
opposed to the amount of talking. At any stage, in all these stages Im
about to show you, you can make adjustments in these different ways.

Finally, there are those things that need to be balanced. In other words,
yes, youre increasing or diminishing them, but youre only doing it in pair
with something else. For example, maybe you diminish your dominance,
but you increase your playfulness. Youre not diminishing your dominance
outside of anything else. Youre doing it in concert with something else.

Does this make sense? This is pretty common sense, but people tend to
forget it when theyre in an area of light thats very charged.

When we look at sarging, the first phase we look at where we want to
improve is the preparation period. Theres how you prepare immediately
before you go out and sarge, like the hour before. Do you do a little bit of
meditation? Do you rehearse your beliefs for learning? Do you rehearse
your vibe? Do you just go out without any preparation?

When I sarge, I do all my vibe. I do all that stuff. Then I imagine walking in
to the venue. I see a symbolic representation of my energy reaching out
and unconsciously touching all the women who are already going to get
me. They may not consciously be aware of it. Because theyre tuned into
my vibe, theyre already getting me.

My job during the evening is not to create any kind of attraction at all. Its
merely to take the attraction that the vibe created and to bring it to the
conscious surface. Thats my model for me of doing SpeedSeduction.

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Everything I do with my behavior and my language is not creating
anything. Its simply bringing to the surface the connection that happened
the instant I walked into the room. Even if theyre not looking at me, my
belief is that the ones who are going to get it have already gotten it
unconsciously.

Some of them are so aware of their own energy and their own bodies that
they immediately know theyve gotten somebody. Theyre just not sure
who. Theyll look around the room. When they look at me, they think, Oh,
hes the one I get. Do you understand?

Maybe you need to do something in the preparation phase. I would bet
that most of you do. Then, and this is really cool, there are those things
you do continually throughout the sarge, from the beginning, to the middle,
all the way to the end. It may be something like that that you have to work
on.

What are some of the elements you should be always doing? You never
stop doing it. Always be in control of your state. Always control your state.
Always be calibrating the other person to see if theyre following with you
or not. The word calibrating just means paying attention.

Control your state. Calibrate. I teach that you should always be in rapport.
Those who say break rapport, with all due respect, dont understand
what rapport means. They think rapport means trying to gather information
about the person or getting them to accept you. Thats not rapport at all.
That has nothing to do with it.

A person could hate your fucking, living guts, and you could still be in
rapport with them. To me, rapport is about an unconscious sense of
connection. Somewhere in the unconscious level, youre vibing with that
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person even if they fucking hate you. The best way for you guys to be in
rapport is to not worry about it. Quiet your mind and focus on having the
right vibe.

You may need to make adjustments in those things youre always going to
do, continuously. You never stop doing them. Does this make sense?
Youre going to be changing your vibe throughout the sarge, but youre
always paying attention, on some level, to your vibe.

If you can learn to analyze things in this level, youll get a lot better
understanding of where you need to make improvements. There are those
that you do sequentially, meaning you only do them once and you do them
in a certain order. Think of a recipe. When you bake a cake, you put
together all the ingredients. You mix it up in the bowl. You stick it in the
oven. You take it out of the oven.

But you dont crack in the eggs once youve baked it. You have to do it in
the right order. You dont keep cracking in the eggs. You do it once, at the
right point, in the right proportion.

What were going to cover this afternoon are those things you do
sequentially. When you guys ask for a sequence of patterns from start to
close, youre asking for things that are done sequentially. You only do
them once. You do them in a certain order. Thats what youre asking for.
Im going to give that to you.

I want you to understand that that may not be where you need your
improvement. It may not be where you have the most leverage. You may
have the most leverage for improvement somewhere else.

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Here comes the really tricky one. This is where mastery lies. Mastery is
found right here. This is where the biggest leverage for improvement is.
Im a masterful teacher, correct? You would agree, yes? I am a very
masterful teacher because I understand how to do this with my students.

This is subtle, but this is where mastery is. This is the stuff you return to
periodically throughout the sarge from time to time. You dont do it all the
time, but neither do you only do it in a certain order. You return to it
periodically throughout the sarging process. Im going to say it again. You
dont do it all the time, but you return to it periodically throughout the
sarging process.

This is where mastery is. In fact, in any kind of persuasive skill set, the
mastery is right there. Its what most people ignore on their way to
mastery. Most people who get good and stop right there dont understand
this and dont master this bit. Its this bit that is your key to absolute
mastery, right here.

What would be something we return to periodically? We dont do it
constantly, but we periodically do it.

Participant: Fractionating.

Ross: We dont do fractionation every moment, but we periodically return to it.
The frequency with which you do it, and the level on which you fractionate,
can vary. People who are great communicators naturally fractionate.
Whether they intentionally plan it out in their mind or just do it inherently,
they do it, whether they know it or not.

Yes, thats one thing you do periodically. What else might you do
periodically?
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Participant: Check her state.

Ross: Its on the line of something you do continuously, but Ill buy that. What
else? What is something you do periodically? You dont do it all the time,
nor do you do it only once.

How about periodically checking to see how comfortable she is with being
touched? Periodically, were going to return to the scene. One of the
things I do is, periodically, I check in to see the balance between comfort
and heat. Im working toward two things, comfort and heat. Periodically, I
will check in to see where thats at. How I do that is another question.

Periodically, you ought to be checking in to see how comfortable shes
growing with your touch. Thats one example. Its a periodic thing. What
else might we return to periodically?

Participant: Structuring opportunities.

Ross: Very good. He nailed it. Its structuring opportunities. Periodically,
throughout the sarge, were structuring opportunities and offering
challenges, are we not? Remember I talked about challenge as being
something thats really powerful.

Periodically, were testing for readiness. Were testing to see where shes
at. Remember I said if a lady is giving you every signal that shes totally
turned on by you, wants to be with you and is absolutely ready, dont go
piling on more stuff. Youre done. Job over.

In the beginning, I know many of you are going to get so excited about
these tools working that youre going to go crazy with them. Im saying no.
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Chop the throttles. Put out the flaps. Put down the landing gear. Its time to
land. Youre going to be putting the throttles to the firewall and wanting to
go 800 miles an hour. No. This is key.

Its also key to utilize her responses. Do we ignore information? Who does
most of the talking in a good SpeedSeduction? Lets hear it.

Participants: She does.

Ross: Eighty percent of the talking is being done by her. If she gives you
information and you ignore it, you are a fucking idiot. Write that down. If
she gives me information and I ignore it, I am a fucking idiot. This is the
beauty of SpeedSeduction. To do it well, you really have to listen and pay
attention to the unique person in front of you.

If youre doing 50 different stories to show her what an exciting life you
have, youre not doing SpeedSeduction. And more, youre doing the work.

Were not the guys who push the snowball up the hill, and it gets heavier
and heavier. We take the little snowball, tap it and it gathers its own
momentum and creates an avalanche, a snow slide. You had better be
paying attention to what she says and incorporate it.

Participant: Wouldnt that be continually instead of periodically?

Ross: Yes, youre always paying attention. Utilizing what she gives you is what
you do periodically. Im always paying attention to her. There are those
things you do periodically.

Periodically, fractionate your own energy. Periodically, switch between
someone whos being funny. Periodically, check in with your physical
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body. Periodically, from time to time, check in and feel your feet on the
ground so you remember youre actually there, present, in a human body,
not flitting around in the stratosphere.

Do any of these ladies want to play with me on stage, or are they still shy?
Look at that, theyre afraid of me. Hey, no bullying. Thats not allowed.
Look here, not at them. Calm down.

Im not of a mind to offer a gift to someone who is not of a mind to eagerly
accept it. If you give a gift, you dont persuade. If youre persuading, youre
selling, not giving a gift. Thats the end of the story.

If people dont want to learn to triple their orgasms, have feelings that
theyve never had before and be more in love with their boyfriends in a
way that their boyfriend would never even think of looking at another girl
ever again unless she picks the girl out to go home with him, thats fine. I
dont care. Its none of my business.

There are things you do at the end, when youre closing the deal. Maybe
you really have to work on your closing. I dont even like the word
closing. Its more like an opening, a powerful opening for a new direction.

Do you ever meet someone and, within 10 minutes, you just know you like
this person? This person can lead you places. Theres a different part you
want to take inside yourself. You can feel that youre opening for
something new, a new direction you want to take inside.

Even though people may laugh, friends may not approve and you may
even feel a little strange about it at first, still, at the same time, you also
can find a place in your mind where you set that aside, where you can see
20
yourself stripping away completely from anything that would have blocked
your own pleasure.

Its a place where you want to succeed. You all want to succeed. You can
see yourself suck-ceeding in a new direction. Theres stuff you do at the
very end, your closing. Theres a sense in which thats a mistake.

Thats also a mistake. I dont believe that closing is a discrete part of the
process. I believe the moment I approach someone, the way I interact with
them energetically has already begun the close. Anything that moves us
further along in a mutually enjoyable exploration is part of the close.

If you look at the close as something thats completely separate, then
youre making an error in your thinking, because its not. Its not really
separate. For the sake of the diagnostic, yes, but in reality, its not really a
separate thing.

My nephew Gabe is 18 years old. Hes a virgin. Its so cute. An 18-year-
old girl is hanging out with him. She clearly has a crush on this kid. They
went to meet me for pancakes. I was sitting at this diner in the Farmers
Market. She had read The Game, so she wanted to meet me. She,
another guy, and my nephew Gabe show up.

Shes on one side. Gabes on the other. Im talking to her about The
Game. Suddenly I look at her and say, So, do you have a thing for my
nephew? Women do this thing where the real answer will flash across
their face for a tenth of a second before they hide it. She and Gabe both
turned the same shade of beet red, looking at each other. I thought, Aha.
Very nice.

21
My nieces and nephews have a nickname for me that theyre not allowed
to say. Later, Gabe said to me, Uncle Paul, what do I do with Nicole? I
said, Have you kissed her? He said, No. Im not sure I should. Shes my
friend. I dont really know.

I said, You havent even made out with her? Dude, she clearly wants
you. He said, I know. She told me she was a virgin. You know, Im a
virgin too. I said, Okay, no problem. I was thinking, You wont be for
long, kid, not with me as your uncle. He said, What do I do?

For him, hes viewing it as a discrete thing that he does at the very end.
Hes viewing any kind of physical contact with her at all as something he
does at the very end to close the deal. Thats a mistake.

I said, You cant just go from no contact to lunging at her Try this. Try
play-fighting with her. Get into a pillow fight with her. Wrestle with her, so
she gets used to the touching. He said, I get it. Then he said, I met
someone even hotter, and shes not a virgin. I thought, Go for it, kid.

To view closing as something thats discrete, separate and different is an
error. For the sake of this diagnostic tool, we can think about it that way.
Then theres what you do afterward. How do you review the situation?
How do you learn from your mistakes and take what you did well, reinforce
it and congratulate yourself for it?

Im going to show you this stuff. You want to know the sequential stuff.
Bear in mind that the sequential stuff is only a piece of the puzzle, not the
whole thing.

22
These are some more distinctions I think youll find helpful. You may have
to adjust things that are analog. You may have to adjust things that are
digital. Let me explain what I mean by that.

Analog variables are anything that vary along a range. Lisa, do any of
these lights have a dimmer switch? That would be analog. It varies along
a range. There are some lights here that switch on and off. Which ones
switch on and off? Thats digital.

Some of what youre doing is analogical. Your volume, the speed at which
you move and the speed at which you process are analog. With digital, its
either there or its not. You either say this word, or you dont say this word.
You either make this move, or you dont make this move. You may want to
look at those things that have to be shifted or changed.

Thats one hell of a condom, isnt it? This is like the ultimate French
Tickler. It looks like it is Bigfoots French Tickler. Look at that. You have to
expect it to coo when you pet it. I dont want to say Im that big, but when I
go to Disney Land, I pay adult admission and an extra kids ticket too.

Finally, there are those things that are interpersonal, how you react with
others, and intrapersonal, meaning whats going on inside your own skin.
These are pretty exhaustive and thorough diagnostic categories. These
are all the different levels you need to look at where you might want to
make improvements and adjustments.

When you come home from a sarge and reboot, these are the various
things you can look at. Since were going to do some sequential stuff, lets
start with openers.

23
People usually come to me and ask questions that are not the best
questions. They say, How do you meet women on the Tube? How do you
meet women in the supermarket? How do you meet women on an
airplane? They make it very geographical.

When you get really good with this stuff, you just find yourself meeting
women anywhere, everywhere you go. Its no longer about a geographical
location.

My drawings improving. Thats a diamond. You can draw a diamond on
your paper with four different positions. Each corner represents a position.
This is only a model. Fundamentally, when youre going to do walkups,
when youre going to meet women, there are four approach-attitudes,
approach-vibes, approach-angles that you can use.

A good approach will either involve two of them simultaneously or one
fractionating right after the other. Over here, I have put-ons. Put-ons are
anything thats a joke, obviously not meant to be taken seriously, taking
the piss out of the person or saying something thats putting her on. Its
having someone on, or saying something funny.

One of the things I stopped doing was actually pretty effective. Lets say
she had a really big bag. Id say, Wow. Your bag is <pause> great. Sorry,
my complimenter is <pause> stuck. It gets a big laugh. Fuck you all.
Thats an example of a put-on.

Heres another put-on I often use. I was at the Roosevelt Hotel, and they
were having a Playmate convention. Im walking in the lobby, and Ive
never seen so many plastic-surgery examples in nine square feet. They
walk right in the middle of me. Suddenly Im in a swarm of them. I look
around and say, I picked the wrong hotel to be gay.
24

They all laughed and said, Oh my god. That gives you a hug. Youre
coming with us. Theyre dragging me along. Im talking about men. I say,
Arent men dicks out here? A few of them say, Who says were into
men? It was a really interesting thing. They were so stupid though. Im
thinking, I would rather go talk to the wall than talk to these people.

Thats a good opener, to say, I picked the wrong X to be gay. X would be
wherever you are. If youre in the supermarket and a beautiful girl walks
by, you say, I picked the wrong aisle to be gay. Thats a put-on. Its not
meant to be taken seriously. It opens the door with some laughter.

Another put-on is the fake stutter, to say, That bag is <pause> enormous.
Im sorry. My complimenter is on <pause> stuck. Trust me, it always gets
a laugh. You have to be able to deliver it right.

What would be another example of a put-on?

Participant: Be gay.

Ross: Another example is acting flamingly gay, which I dont do anymore, but I
used to. What else?

Participant: The woman all in pink.

Ross: The woman walks into the Coffee Bean. She has pink eyeliner, pink
lipstick, pink cheek blush. Strike that. Shes wearing purple, purple
eyeliner, purple lipstick, purple blush. She had a purple gym outfit, purple
bag, purple nails. I forgot to mention that. She had purple streaks in her
hair too.

25
I said, Excuse me. The spirits are telling me, yes, you like the color
purple. That was meant to be a put-on, but she said, Youre good. She
was as dumb as a rock.

Who has another example of a put-on?

Participant: I know what your boyfriend looks like.

Ross: I havent used that in a long time. Or to say, Excuse me, miss. I know this
is going to sound a little strange, but I know what your perfect lover looks
like. Shes going to say, What do you mean? I say, I see his face in the
mirror every morning when I shave. Im forgetting some. Ive done a
couple of others that were really ripper funny in my career.

There are also context-specific put-ons. Back in April, I went to see this
roly-poly, light-in-the-loafers, flamingly gay spiritual reader. His name is
Hans King. He had a crowd of about 98 women in that room, and the only
two guys were my nephew and me.

I said, Hey, Gid, theres going to be plenty of poonani here. Lets go
cruise for chicks. He said, Okay, Uncle. This guy is a complete retard.
He was. He was saying things like, Did you know the Universe wants you
to find that perfect girl or guy? All you have to do is find someone who
sees you exactly as you are without wanting to change you and loves you
just the way you are.

I looked at Gideon and said, Why didnt I think of that? Thats really
simple. It was ridiculous. He kept talking about how the spirits will give
you lucky numbers. You can tune into the spirits to get Lotto numbers. At
the break, I saw this hot-looking woman at the literature table. I said to my
nephew, Nephew, watch this.
26

I walk up to her with my cell phone in my hand. I say, Excuse me, miss.
The spirits have been talking to me. The spirits are showing me a 10-digit
number that is the absolute key to your happiness. I opened up my cell
phone. It had the number of the phone on it right there.

That was very context-specific. You couldnt use that somewhere else,
could you? Maybe youre in the bedding shop. I dont know if you want to
date a woman who frequents the bedding shop, but you get my idea.

Heres another put-on I love to do. Now Im waking up. Im remembering
my own put-ons. In America, they have an office-supply store called
Staples. Go to your local Staples. Find the prettiest girl there whos a
customer. Ive done this, and I swear it works. Walk up to her and say,
Excuse me. Where do you keep the laser printer cartridges?

They always say, I dont work here. You say, I know, but the people who
work here are butt-ugly and youre really cute. It also works in the
supermarket. Walk up to the pretty girl. Excuse me. Where do you keep
the lamb shanks? They always say, I dont work here. You say, I know,
but the people who work here are dwarf-butt ugly, and youre really cute.
My name is

The thing about put-ons is theyre a screening. If a woman doesnt laugh
at my jokes, shes probably not going to get me, so Im going to leave.
Youre screening to see if the persons playful. It also takes away the
tension of meeting someone. When you start out with explosive laughter, it
drops the natural tension between people.

27
Theyre fun to do. Put-ons challenge me to think on my feet. My best put-
ons were not calculated. I didnt go out with them in my mind. I came up
with them on the spot.

James: I was in a club last January. This girl was sitting by the bar. Guys would
come up to her every two or three minutes. She was getting really pissed
off with it. There was one guy who was hanging around. I could tell she
was pissed off with him.

I went up to her and said, You two make such a cute couple. She said,
Hes been pestering me all night. I said, I just had to give him a chance
before I came along. My name is James.

Ross: I like that. Heres another one. Ive done this. If you see a woman whos
blowing guys off left and right, walk up to her and say, Im wondering
what it is youre doing to keep the guys away because its not working with
me.

The key thing about a put-on is that its fun. Its obviously not done with
any kind of malice to it. Its funny. It gets a laugh. From there, youre going
to introduce yourself.

Usually what happens when I do a put-on is, once the woman laughs, Ill
say something like, Im glad you laughed. I noticed you here. I wanted to
meet the person wrapped inside all the pretty. My name is. Thats my
standard follow-up for a put-on. Or Ill say, I noticed you here, and I
wanted to meet you.

The wrapped in the pretty is not a direct compliment. Were going to get
to indirect compliments in a moment. Its an implied compliment. I didnt
28
29
say directly, I think youre very pretty. I said, I wanted to meet the
person wrapped in the pretty.

That is not directly saying I think shes pretty. If you really wanted to be a
bastard, you could say, Im glad you laughed because I wanted to meet
the person wrapped in all the pretty, but she just walked out the door. We
dont do that kind of stuff. Thats neging. We dont neg.

Participant: With that opener that you just had, What is it that youre using to keep the
men away because its not working with me? she will laugh.

Ross: Now youre really learning. Do you see how smart he is? I do one little
change and suddenly he goes from a confused spastic to a super-genius.

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