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This Month our Newsletter revolves around the subject of resentment. Re-sentments are highly toxic emotions that rob us of both our life force and thelife we deserve. Many of us are not even aware of the hidden resentments wehold onto and which govern our everyday moves.
Read on…
A Transformational Trip to the Holy Land
I just returned from two amazing weeks in Israel. It’s an interesting story inthat I spent the second week of the trip with my ex and his extended family.I kind of felt like Demi and Bruce for a while there, although I was sorelymissing Ashton Kutcher!
Letting go so experiences can be shared
My ex’s brother and his wife and I have remained very close and their sonwas being Bar Mitzvahed at the Western Wall of the ancient Jewish Temple. Iseized on the opportunity to go to Israel as I had never been before and I alsowanted to share this wonderful experience with Benn and Linda and their family.
An experience that cannot fully be put into words
The rst week my kids and I traveled throughout northern Israel together.Icannot express adequately the beauty and signicance of the sites we saw.
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The Art of Creating Change and Growth in Life
Coaching for Change Newsletter / Vol 9
July 2, 2008
 
The history is mind-blowing, totally surreal. The ability to be in places wherethe ancient Israelites and Jesus lived and to see the history of both the oldand new Testaments come to life is an experience that cannot fully be putinto words.
Choosing to let go of resentments and judgements
The second week we met everyone in Jerusalem. Here was my chance to bewith my ex without having to be in resentment or judgment. For those of uswho are divorced, this is an on-going challenge. Old wounds and buttonsget activated all the time. Buttons being pushed are a good reminder that wehave more work to do on ourselves. I have learned that holding onto resent-ments means being forever linked to the pain that we are desperately tryingto escape. Continuing to blame our ex not only keeps us a victim, whichmakes us powerless, but also keeps us tied to them in a way that drains us of our ability to enjoy life.
Only one emotional reaction - a great track record
I can honestly report that the week went extremely well. There was only onetime that I went into an emotional reaction and I consider that a great track record! Mind you, we were all together from 8am to 11pm every single day.
Coming together as a family to celebrate
We saw all the sites of Jerusalem and the surrounding areas, spending hourson a tour bus in closed quarters. We ate all our meals together. We spent theevenings together. We experienced the joy of Erik’s Bar Mitzvah at the Walland came together for a celebratory luncheon.
Resentments come & then you must let them go
This was not a huge group in which to get lost. It was merely 20 people.Look, I know I have much more work to do as it pertains to my new life andmy divorce. I still go into reaction. Whenever I think I have given up myresentments, a new one surfaces that I must let go of.
Living in the moment - Letting go of the past
It’s an on-going process as is anything in life. But this was an opportunity for me to give myself a gift: the gift of being with a family that I love, the gift2
Getting Older and Wiser!
In a new study released fromthe University of Queensland,Professor Bill Von Hipell re-lates: “Older adults appear tosee the good things in life moreeasily and are less likely to beupset by the little things that gowrong.“As a consequence, their dailyexperiences bring them just asmuch satisfaction as younger adults, even if they have lostfriends or a spouse, or if theycan no longer get out as muchas they would like.This may bethe wisdom of ageing, the abil-ity to experience everyday lifeas uplifting.”The research was published inthe June issue of the AmericanPsychological Association jour-nal Psychology and Aging.
Quotes of the Month:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other  person to die.
Carrie Fisher (1956 -)
 
of being in the moment without endless negative mind chatter that robs meof life’s joys; the gift of letting go of a past that no longer exists and takesme out of the present; the gift of allowing my children to be with both of their parents on this very special trip and also letting them see that we can alllearn to forgive and live in harmony…maybe not all the time, but most of it!
Be free to live our best life possible!
Divorce recovery demands that we learn to let go of our emotional woundsand the reactive behaviors that accompany them. Without doing so, we willnever be free to live our best life possible.
Picture of the Month: And you thought youwere angry?How resentment harms your health!
A resentment would appear to be a cluster of anger and thought. To developan anger, one must start out with a certain expectation of someone. Then
when the person does not fulll that expectation, there is a feeling of anger.
3Holding on to anger, resentmentand hurt only gives you tensemuscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth.Forgiveness gives you back thelaughter and the lightness inyour life.
Joan Linden, in HealthyLiving Magazine
cont’d from column 1,page 3...How resentmentharms your health!
That state of arousal, especiallyif chronic, threatens our health, afact documented for some time.From the innovative research of Hans Selye to the current fron-tier of psychoimmunology, thereis a long tradition of aware-ness of the negative impact of chronic emotional arousal onour health.
When we resent, we are ina state of chronic emotionalarousal
If we know that resentmentsare not good for us, why do weallow them to develop in the
rst place?
Some of us do notlike confrontation . Others of usavoid anger. Sometimes we mayconvince ourselves that we can“think” our way out of a resent-
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