The unspoiled landscape is only briefly touched upon by the ambitions of humankind, with few houses and fewerbusinesses, churches and chocolateshops. The local high school is theonly building of note, constructed in the1920’s. Nowhere can claim the best highschool football team in the state – in fact,in local parlance a particularly good orsurprising play is often said to “comefrom Nowhere”. The fabled Bridge toNowhere is a favorite town legend, andparts of the bridge can still be seen inneighboring Pleasantville.For a city of this size, the amount of recreational activities is extraordinary.Nowhere is the home of the semiannualInternational Lawnwatching Competition.Teams of lawnwatchers from around the world come together for three days of watching grass grow. The winning teamtakes home a 50 lb. bag of Kentucky Bluegrass seeds and a trophy in the shapeof a lawnmower.Nowhere is also the place to celebrateNational Paintdrying Week. Throughout the festivities, fences, houses, porticos,gazebos and derelict barns are coated with gaily colored paint, and visitors areinvited to watch as the paint dries to a bright, moisture-sealing finish. Lodgingsfill up fast for this event, so make sure you reserve your spot early!Culturally, Nowhere has influenced great musical works. During a visit in 1969,Neil Young got the inspiration for hisclassic album, “Everyone Knows Thisis Nowhere”, and even took the coverphoto here. During a cross-country tourin 1965, John Lennon made a stop inNowhere, inspiring the well-known hit “Nowhere Man”. According to locallore, “Nowhere Man” is based on a blind, aimless, clueless townsperson witha bad sense of direction.
What to Do?
Nowhere provides a number of primesocial activities Every Friday, the en-tire town gets together to perform theclassic song “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”, until all the citizens either fallaway dead drunk or the beer stocks arespent. Nowhere also hosts the country’sfirst Procrastinators’ Club, establishedin 1867. Although its first meeting has yet to be held, its members uphold theclub’s tenets in their daily lives and striveto spread the message of procrastination whenever they get around to it.