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Stress Reduction from theMayo Clinic:
I always ask my new clients toimmediately begin to take on a practice that will reduce the effectsof stress on their minds and bodies.Divorce is stress to the maximumand it wreaks havoc on our abilityto handle life.Read the latest from the MayoClinic on how to reduce stress inyour life…http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/HQ01070
Are You Interested In a4-6 Week Tele-seminar onLife After Divorce?
I am currently putting the nishing
touches on a powerful tele-seminar series that will walk you throughthe essential steps to letting go andmoving on after your divorce.
Divorce Recovery Newsletter / Vol 21
July 7, 2009
Celebrate Your Independence Day!
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, thatall people (men) are created equal, that they areendowed by their Creator with certain unalienableRights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Need I say more? You are entitled to a life that
is lled with freedom, happiness and meaning.
What’s more, there are other unalienable rights towhich you are entitled and now is the time to ensure that your life includesthe following:respect
•
self-esteem
•
 passion
•
love
•
dignity
•
light-heartedness
•
security
•
fun
•fullling relationships•
and peace of mind.
•
Hope you had a great Fourth of July!
Jon and Kate: A Personal Note
Am I the only person in America who was clueless as to the identityof Kate and Jon? It has only been in the past month, with the media blitz on this so-called famous couple, that I actually learned of their TV show and their lives with eight children. I’m not a big TV
 
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This is a unique opportunity
to reap the benets of Divorce
Coaching in a group setting.I want to ensure that I meet allyour needs in this series so couldyou please get back to me with an-swers to the following questions?
• What are the top 3 issues and
challenges that you are facing inyour own divorce?
• What would work better for you
in terms of times …lunchtime ESTor evenings EST?Please e-mail me with your re-sponses ASAP!
Where are You in theDivorce RecoveryJourney?
Check out my Divorce Life quizand see where you are in the jour-ney to recovery from your divorceand get instant feedback fromShelley.Go to: http://www.change-coachshelley.com/life_coaching_ resources/take_quiz.php
watcher, especially when it comes to reality shows, but even if I were,I doubt their show is one I would watch.
Sometimes the less information the better.
The American public is mesmerized by divorce. It’s all over themedia. Having gone through my own divorce, I cannot imagine theadditional pain of having your life scrutinized by the masses.I suppose it is the same phenomenon as driving past a car accidentand searching to see the victims. Sad state of affairs. It seems to me
to be all about our core values. Michael Jackson, a tragic gure in lifedies of what will probably be conrmed as a drug overdose, and the
Internet is nearly shut down with hits from all over the world.On that same day, Farrah Fawcett lost her three-year struggle withcancer. She fought a highly courageous and extremely agonizing battle and yet her death goes almost unnoticed. It’s all so sad.I would love to hear what you think about this subject. Contact us atshelleystile@changecoachshelley.com.
Picture of the Month:
 
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Consider Giving the Gift of Peace of Mindfor a Loved One.Give the Gift of Coaching.Go to:
http://www.changecoachshelley.com/why_  be_coached/special-offers.html
Quotes of the Month
“If we can recognize that changeand uncertainty are basic principles,we can greet the future and thetransformation we are undergoing withthe understanding that we do not knowenough to be pessimistic.”
Hazel Henderson (Economist, writerand syndicated columnist)
“Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough,a way of living in advance through atrauma that prepares you for a future of radical transformation.”
Cherrie Moraga
Divorce Recovery and Personal Growth:
I need only point to myself as a prime example of how divorcerecovery and personal growth is an on-going process. I am constantlystopping and noticing when I fall back into behavior that does notserve me.The good news is that I am conscious enough to notice when I amfalling backwards so that I can catch myself and turn it around again.Wouldn’t it be fabulous to be transformed into a highly evolved andhappy human being and remain that way thereafter?
Sure but that is yet another unrealistic expectation that willonly set us up for disappointment.
The goal of divorce recovery is for you to be able to let go of the painof your past, to grow and evolve as a person and then to create a life
that proves to be meaningful, fullling and happy.
But not always!What do I mean by ‘not always’?
Transformation is a process that demands our daily attention andefforts. You cannot expect to be this ‘new and improved’ version allthe time. There is no perfection in life. Life will continually challengeus even when we have let go and moved on after our divorce. Our goal, as always, is be able to utilize the skills and tools we haveamassed on how to handle life through thick and thin.
So here’s my latest setback: teenagers!!!!
This summer my wonderful 19-year-old son and my 15-year-old
daughter are challenging me. I nd that my plea for semi-clean bedrooms and tidying up after themselves falls on deaf ears. I nd
myself spending an inordinate amount of time picking up after themand resenting it. I notice myself resenting the fact that I sound like anag. I make it their fault.I am feeling unappreciated and put-upon. It’s a pity party in themaking! None of this feels good and it certainly isn’t getting them or me anywhere.
Back to Einstein’s adage:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. My present modus-operendi is not working and worse, I feel lousy too much of the time.
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