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Coming this Fall:The ‘Take Back YourLife’ Tele-Seminar Series:
Stay tuned for more informa-tion on this powerful, 5 week Tele-Seminar Series that will takeyou through the steps of DivorceRecovery and lead into Life After Divorce.Classes will start in late October and run for 5 consecutive weeks.
95 Transformational Tipsto Transform Your LifeAfter Divorce:
My book offers 95 ways to moveforward after your divorce and will be released this Fall
The Marketplace:
A new feature on my website willoffer you access to some of the best yoga, meditation and center-ing exercises available.
Divorce Recovery Newsletter / Vol 22
August 4, 2009
Lessons are all Around You:
Recently, I had an interesting challenge presentedto me by my web designer. She wanted me tocome up with some sort of life lesson applicableto divorce recovery based on an incident that hasabsolutely nothing to do with said subject...or so Ithought.I am blessed to have spent time on the Jersey shore
this summer. The ocean is the place where I nd
total relaxation, centering and deep gratitude.Anyway,I was walking up a few steps on adock to view the sunset when I tripped andcaught my big toe on the step and bang!Ripped the nail off the toe. Now I am hobbling around with the toe allwrapped up in gauze and cannot go intothe ocean for a week. How does this haveanything to do with divorce? My son gave methe insight when he said, “Mom, you aren’tlooking where you are going.” In retrospect,he was right. I kind of went unconsciouswhen the mishap occurred. I was heading to the sunset and wasn’t really paying attention.When we aren’t aware of what is going on around us, we end up gettinghurt. Going unconscious during the emotional turmoil of divorce is almost agiven. We are locked into emotional reactivity. Our emotions take over andwe go unconscious and say and do things that we question afterwards.We aren’t looking at where we are going and we end up hurting ourselves.
 
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We must learn to combat the ef-fects of stress on our bodies andminds and the Marketplace willhelp you do just that!
Where are You in the Di-vorce Recovery Journey?
Check out my Divorce Life quizand see where you are in the jour-ney to recovery from your divorceand get instant feedback fromShelley.Go to: http://www.changecoachshelley.com/life_ coaching_resources/take_quiz.php
Consider Giving the Gift of Peace of Mindfor a Loved One.Give the Gift of Coaching.Go to:
http://www.changecoachshelley.com/why_  be_coached/special-offers.html
Quotes of theMonth
“Anger is the feeling that makesyour mouth work faster thanyour mind.”
Evan Esar, (1899 - 1995)
Stay conscious. Be aware of what is going on in your body and your mind. Notice when you are reacting in an inappropriate and dangerous manner.
 Notice how your heart starts to utter, your body tenses up and your 
 breathing becomes shallow when you are heading into reactivity.Be conscious of all these signals. Stop what you are doing, go off somewhere and spend a few minutes deep breathing. Once you have broughtyour physical self out of reaction, and then think about how you want tohandle the challenge in front of you. So there Colleen...I met your challenge!
Comments from our Readers:
“Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer. From what I understandher cancer was caused by the HPV Virus. This virus is nothing to beashamed of; most people carry it at some point in their lives.Fortunately there is a vaccination available for certain strains of the virus. Lets talk about this...give Farrah Fawcett the respect shedeserves in her battle, while here on earth, and spread the word. Her life and her death had great meaning and can teach us all something.Farrah Fawcett’s son was addicted to drugs, just as Michael Jackson.
The ght of addiction cannot be paid for; all walks of life are affected
 by this horrible mental illness. Society needs to wake up and stoptreating mental illness as a taboo, something to keep quiet about.Let’s start talking...let’s start having an understanding, compassion,empathy towards it, just as someone with heart disease or diabetes.
Depression, anxiety, difculty coping with divorce or any other loss,
can become a lasting mental illness. It is time for us to connect andcare about each other. Just my opinion....”
Anne B
“Hi Shelly!! I love the newsletter you are great I’m so glad I foundyou. Please keep up the good work!! So many of us need good peoplelike you, when we are not at our best. Life is hard enough; glad youare here with info I can really use!!! Again THANK YOU!!!! 
Bobbie T
 
3“Anger is a signal, and oneworth listening to.”
Harriet Lerner,The Dance of Anger, 1985
“When anger rises, think of theconsequences.”
Confucius, (551 BC - 479 BC)
“Anger makes you smaller,while forgiveness forces you togrow beyond what you were.”
Cherie Carter-Scott,
What’s on YourMind?
We want to hear from our readers: What are your thoughts on this month’ssubjects? Your story? Anyquestions? Feedback?Tell us what you are thinkingthen in future newsletters wewill feature your response.Share what you are thinking byemailing Shelley.“In answer to your question of the three things that you are mostchallenged by now:1. Anger 2. Acceptance3. Financial/Legal”
Julie K 
So Let’s Talk About Anger
You are allowed to be angry but you are not allowed to be the target of 
your anger. You need to gure out ways to release your anger without
harming yourself or others.* You can do this by burning it off through exercise.* You can take a plastic bat and beat the hell out of your pillows.* You can go into the woods and scream your head off.These are all healthy ways to release anger.During the grieving period that follows this life transition of divorce,anger is a natural response to loss. It is to be expected. Ultimately of course, we need to understand the anger and whom it harms. I assureyou that you will be the ultimate recipient of the effects of your anger.Listen to what anger does to your body and mind: It is important tounderstand what happens to the body when one becomes angry. In amoment of anger, you may experience:* muscle tension* grinding of teeth and teeth clenching* ringing in the ears
* ushing
* higher blood pressure* chest pains* excessive sweating* chills* severe headaches or migraines.With chronic anger people can also experience:* peptic ulcers* constipation* diarrhea* intestinal cramping* hiccups* chronic indigestion
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