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Coming this Fall:95 Transformational Tipsto Transform Your LifeAfter Divorce:
My book offers 95 ways to moveforward after your divorce and will be released this Fall
The Marketplace:
A new feature on my website willoffer you access to some of the best yoga, meditation and center-ing exercises available.We must learn to combat the ef-fects of stress on our bodies andminds and the Marketplace willhelp you do just that!
Divorce Recovery Newsletter / Vol 23
September 1, 2009
Lessons are all Around You:
It’s Back to School time! As we send the kids ontheir way to a year of acquiring new knowledge,it might be time to stop and consider whether or not we are still growing as a human being by continually seeking out new knowledge andwisdom? It’s been said that when we stop learning,we stop living.I invite you to join methis fall for two major opportunities to learn andgrow when it comes to you and your divorce.Divorce can be your catalyst for creating positiveand empowering changes in your life. Use it assuch.On Wednesday, September 16th, I will begiving a free, live tele-seminar on Acceptance.
Acceptance is the most difcult but the most
important step in divorce recovery. Acceptanceextends to all the other challenges you may facein life. To sign-up now go to:http://www.changecoachshelley.com/life_coaching_resources/teleclasses.htmlI am extremely proud and excited to announce something that I have beenworking on for a very long time. In November, I will kick off a 5-week tele-seminar series entitled, Take Back Your Life After Divorce. This seriesof live classes will cover all of the major steps and concepts in divorcerecovery. To sign-up now, go to:http://takebackyourlifeafterdivorce.eventbrite.com/
 
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Where are You in the Di-vorce Recovery Journey?
Check out my Divorce Life quizand see where you are in the jour-ney to recovery from your divorceand get instant feedback fromShelley.Go to: http://www.changecoachshelley.com/life_ coaching_resources/take_quiz.php
Consider Giving the Gift of Peace of Mindfor a Loved One.Give the Gift of Coaching.Go to:
http://www.changecoachshelley.com/why_  be_coached/special-offers.html
Quotes of theMonth:
Learning is not compulsory...neither is survival.W. Edwards Deming (1900 -1993)I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail myship.Louisa May Alcott
Life Lessons from our Divorce: Senator TedKennedy
I have been watching the funeral andmemorial services on TV these last twodays for one of the greatest Senator’s in UShistory, Senator Edward Kennedy. Whatcame up for me is how this man took a stringof personal tragedies and missteps and usedthem as powerful lessons and catalysts to become one of our greatest public servants.If you too followed the coverage, youheard his sons speak of their Father andhow he also taught his children how to use adversity as a steppingstone to personal empowerment and growth. Teddy Jr. was diagnosed with cancer when he was only twelve and had to have his leg amputated. Patrick had a
crippling case of asthma. Their sister fought a difcult battle with cancer. All
overcame these formidable obstacles and went on to live enriching lives.Senator Kennedy himself lost his siblings Joe, Jack, Bobby and Kathleenwhen he was a young man. He was in a terrible plane crash that lefthim with chronic back pain. Then there was Chappaquiddick. Instead of retreating from the public sector and becoming a broken and bitter man, heused these experiences to become who he was meant to be.I want to share with you a quote from Ted Jr.’s speech that I think bears our attention:“My father taught me that even our most profound losses are survivable,and that is -- it is what we do with that loss, our ability to transform it into a positive event, that is one of my father’s greatest lessons.”Yes, our divorces are massive losses and upheavals. Yes, we suffer pain,anger, confusion, resentment and regret. Yes, it is a tough journey to recover and go on. Nonetheless, our divorce can be that profound loss that will giftus with the ability to transform our lives into something better.
Yes, We Can Change and Learn New Ways of Being!
Recently a client asked me if they could change habitual behavior and
learn new ways of being. The answer is a resounding yes! The eld of 
neuroplasticity explains how and why we can learn new habits:
The human brain is incredibly adaptive. Our mental capacity
 
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What’s on YourMind?
We want to hear from our readers: What are your thoughts on this month’ssubjects? Your story? Anyquestions? Feedback?Tell us what you are thinkingthen in future newsletters wewill feature your response.Share what you are thinking byemailing Shelley.
is astonishingly large, and our ability to process widely varied information and complex new experiences with relative ease can oftenbe surprising. The brain’s ability to act and react in ever-changing 
ways is known, in the scientifc community, as “neuroplasticity.” This
 special characteristic allows the brain’s estimated 100 billion nerve
cells, also called neurons (aka “gray matter”), to constantly lay down
new pathways for neural communication and to rearrange existing ones throughout life, thereby aiding the processes of learning, memory,and adaptation through experience. Without the ability to make such functional changes, our brains would not be able to memorize a new fact or master a new skill, form a new memory or adjust to a newenvironment; we, as individuals, would not be able to recover frombrain injuries or overcome cognitive disabilities. Because of the brain’sneuroplasticity, old dogs, so to speak, regularly learn new tricks of every conceivable kind.
Memoryzine.com
How did you learn to ride a bike? Did you get on it and simply take off? No.You took small action steps and worked your up until you mastered the artof bicycle riding. In the process you practiced over and over again. The keyword in learning and adapting new habits and behaviors is repetition. Tomaster something new simply commit to repeating it over and over again.
This is how we came to have habits in the rst place and this is how we will
adopt new ones to replace the old ones that do serve us anymore.Your brain can learn new ways of doing and being and it is never too late.
What Lessons and Wisdom Have You Gleanedfrom your Divorce?
As seen in Senator Kennedy’s life, we can take a loss in life and turn it into
a launching pad of sorts. Although it might be difcult for you to see right
now, what gifts might you have be given from this experience that will helpyou in the future?For instance, I have a new career as a result of my divorce and it is muchmore rewarding and meaningful work than I have ever done. These so-calledgifts will become more apparent to you as time goes on but rest assured thatthey are there for you even if you cannot see them right now.
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