whole inner growth of spiritual experience. all kinds of insights would blend andflourish in a fertile effervescence. a sensation of actuality and spiritual content wouldbe born, like the rise of a wave or a musical phrase. to be full of one's self, not in thesense of pride, but of enrichment, to be tormented by a sense of inner infinity, meansto live so intensely that you feel you are about to die of life. such a feeling is so rareand strange that we would live it out with shouts. i feel i could die of life, and i askmyself if it makes any sense to look for an explanation. when your entire spiritualpast vibrates inside you with a supreme tension, when a sense of total presenceresurrects buried experiences and you lose your normal rhythm, then, from theheights of life, you are caught by death without the fear which normally accompaniesit. it is a feeling similar to that experienced by lovers on the heights of happiness,when they have a passing but intense intimation of death or when a premonition of betrayal haunts their budding love.only a few can endure such experiences to the end. there is always a seriousdanger in repressing something which requires objectification, in locking up explosiveenergy, because there comes a moment when one cannot restrain suchoverwhelming power. and then the fall is from too much plenitude. there areexperiences and obsessions one cannot live with. salvation lies in confessing them.the terrifying experience of death, when preserved in consciousness, becomesruinous. if you talk about death, you save part of your self. but at the same time,something of your real self dies, because objectified meanings lose the actuality theyhave in consciousness. this is why lyricism represents a dispersion of subjectivity; it isa certain quantity of an individual's spiritual effervescence which cannot becontained and needs constant expression. to be lyrical means you cannot stay closedup inside yourself. the need to externalize is the more intense, the more the lyricismis interiorized, profound, and concentrated. why is the suffering or loving man lyrical?because such states, although different in nature and orientation, spring up from thedeepest and most intimate part of our being, from the substantial center of subjectivity, as from a radiation zone. one becomes lyrical when one's life beats to anessential rhythm and the experience is so intense that it synthesizes the entiremeaning of one's personality. what is unique and specific in us is then realized in aform so expressive that the individual rises onto a universal plane. the deepestsubjective experiences are also the most universal, because through them onereaches the original source of life. true interiorization leads to a universalityinaccessible to those who remain on the periphery. the vulgar interpretation of universality calls it a phenomenon of quantitative expansion rather than aqualitatively rich containment. such an interpretation sees lyricism as a peripheraland inferior phenomenon, the product of spiritual inconsistency, failing to notice thatthe lyrical resources of subjectivity show remarkable freshness and depth. there arepeople who become lyrical only at crucial moments in their life; some only in thethroes of death, when their entire past suddenly appears before them and hits themwith the force of a waterfall. many become lyrical after some decisively criticalexperience, when the turmoil of their inner being reaches paroxysm. thus people whoare normally inclined toward objectivity and impersonality, strangers both tothemselves and to reality, once they become prisoners of love, experience feelingswhich actualize all their personal resources. the fact that almost everybody writes
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Thank you this is... just awesome I never read anything by this author... kindred thoughts to mine... lol