Ed died last night. This sounds pretty shallow, but my biggest concern is that I amgoing to be alone this holiday season. My real Lover, the one I
ʼ
ve been cheating onwith Ed is gone right now too.He left to prepare our home somewhere really beautiful. And he promised to come backfor me as soon as he could. It
ʼ
s not that I don
ʼ
t believe him, it
ʼ
s just that waiting got solong.That
ʼ
s when I met Ed. We were just friends for the longest time. Then it turned intoflirting. At first, everyone thought he was really cool. Several of my friends commentedthat they wished they could find a guy like Ed.“Oh my gosh, he
ʼ
s gorgeous! You seem so happy with him!” But the more time wespent together, when we became exclusive, things changed. He was very controlling.He wanted to be the only person in my life.Ed didn
ʼ
t have many friends, only a few admirers. Most people who got to know himquickly learned that he was very social and he was pretty self absorbed. So being hisclosest acquaintance in the area, I feel obligated to give his eulogy. But before I waxnostalgic, let me tell you how I really feel.Personally, I
ʼ
m a little peeved that he passed right before the holidays. Now, I have nodate for the annual events and dinner parties. It
ʼ
s not that I really wish he could come,he can really ruin a good time. However, I
ʼ
m not used to doing anything alone. I dreadthe comments and questions.“Where
ʼ
s Ed? Is he well?”“It
ʼ
s a shame Ed couldn
ʼ
t make it.”“Wow, I barely recognized you without Ed!”Yeah, it
ʼ
s going to be a little uncomfortable alone.I remember recent years when Ed was here. Call it ironic sentimentality.Ed always made sure we brought something. “Take the veggie tray. You have to havesomething you can eat.” But often it didn
ʼ
t matter anyway. Ed insisted on beingfashionably late. We always missed appetizers, usually missed dinner and showed up just in time for only dessert and coffee. OK, just for coffee. Ed said he really didn
ʼ
t carefor sweets.Wow! Come to think of it I don
ʼ
t even know how I like my coffee! I work at Starbucksand don
ʼ
t even know how I like my coffee. Ed always brought it to me. He said hespared no expense to make sure he got me the
ʻ
healthiest
ʼ
option. It
ʼ
s kind of excitingto consider what else I might try.
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