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'Working Together' newsletter

'Working Together' newsletter

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Published by Patrick McPartlin
Spoof newsletter calls for Scottish embassy to the UK post-independence to be sited in Yorkshire.
Spoof newsletter calls for Scottish embassy to the UK post-independence to be sited in Yorkshire.

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Published by: Patrick McPartlin on Jul 03, 2014
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07/03/2014

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Celebrating Educating Yorkshire - page 3 A new approach to school crossings - page 6 Le Tour comes to Kirkdale - page 4
Together Together
Working Working
July/August 2014 July/August 2014
Our new Super Council Our new Super Council
Kirklees and Calderdale merger set to transform local services
 
 
Contents
 
Working Together - 2
In: Alan
 
Out: Wine
 
2 Welcome 3 Media-led regeneration 4 Le Tour comes to Kirkdale 5 Independence for Yorkshire in 2015? 6 New school crossing patrol safety measures 7 Improving your health and saving you money 8 The great Kirkdale recycling challenge What’s on in Kirkdale The definitive guide to Council-sponsored fun
Working Together
Since 2014
Bradley Moffat
In July we will put such worries aside as we welcome international athletes to the borough. The
énorme specticle
of the Tour de France sweeping through Kirkdale (page 4). We will also be working to position Kirkdale as the premier borough within West Yorkshire, as we push for a vote on independence for Yorkshire in 2015 (page 5). I hope you enjoy the inaugural copy of
Working Together.
Only by working together we will create a brighter future for all our residents.
Cllr Bradley Moffat, The Leader of Kirkdale Council
Welcome
It is my great privilege to be leading the merger of two great Yorkshire local authorities & overseeing a period of transformational change in the provision of local services.
Tight public finances will unfortunately mean staffing levels being reduced further. We will have many difficult choices to make which may see reduced services in some cases. However these impacts will be minimised through the efficiencies gained through adopting a radical new business models. Council tax payers will be further protected as we embark on an utterly demoralising process of job evaluation and restructure: as natural wastage rises, our predicted redundancy costs will fall.
Kirkdale is Yorkshire’s new super-council bringing together 622,000 residents from the former boroughs of Calderdale and Kirklees. The new organisation will see over 20,000 full-time equivalent staff working to benefit the local people, economy and environment. Our annual budget of over £1 billion will enable us to negotiate strong contracts with faceless uncaring, multi-nationals as we accelerate our programme of outsourcing and privatisation.
 
Kirkdale set to benefit from media-led regeneration
Regeneration 
Working Together - 3
Taking Kirkdale to a Global Audience
In 2010 the BBC did significant damage to the local economy when it cancelled the comedy ‘Last of the Summer Wine’. Whilst the show still tops the most-repeated lists on British TV, tourism revenue will never reach the dizzy heights of the late 1990’s. However a
Council-sponsored
deal has seen South African TV magnate Willem Coetzee, East-West Capital Management Inc., and The Elland Sanitary Wares Company, give financial backing to the launch of a new satellite channel to be based in the heart of Kirkdale. We’re pleased to announce we’ve helped secure the services of TV and gardening legend
Alan Titchmarsh
 MBE, as
prime-anchor
 for the channel. Fresh from a seven-year stint hosting the nation’s favourite afternoon chat show, TV’s very own Mr Yorkshire will commute three days a week from his Hampshire farmhouse, to broadcast live from Halifax’s forthcoming
Piece Hall Media Village
. Alan’s business acumen in distilling the essence of Yorkshire-ness and exploiting it for personal profit is hugely inspiring. Marketing such regional clichés to a gullible nation will be the subject of exploratory talks with the Disney Company this autumn. Watch this space.
Nurturing Home Grown Talent
Our young students and their hard-working teachers were taken to the nation’s hearts in 2013 with
Channel 4’s Educating Yorkshire
. We’re elevating the stars of this show to become official Kirkdale Educational Ambassadors to help us build strong foundations for future economic growth. With Kirkdale support, Musharaf, the undisputed star of the show, is set to launch his own range of headphones set to rival Beats Audio for sound quality and uber street cred.
‘Mushy P Cans’
will hit the shelves in October. Twenty percent of the profits from sales of Mushy’s designer audio accessory will be donated to the
Mr Bennet Charitable Foundation
. All funds raised will pay for inspirational skinny black trousers and hair gel for all male teachers, throughout Kirkdale and beyond.
Promoting Kirkdale at a regional, national and global level has been identified by US consultancy ‘Blue-Sky Regeneration’, as critical to sustained economic growth. Francis Strong, CEO of ‘BS Regeneration’, unveils a game-changing approach to ensure Kirkdale becomes Europe’s investment hub of choice

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