The Looking Glass.....................................................................................................................................3 A Childhood of Nightmares.......................................................................................................................7 A Dream Awakens....................................................................................................................................10 A New Mask.............................................................................................................................................12 The Animal Within...................................................................................................................................13 A Birthday To Remember........................................................................................................................14 A Return To Okataina, 1985.....................................................................................................................16 1987..........................................................................................................................................................17 The High School Years - 1988.................................................................................................................22 The First High School Camp...................................................................................................................24 The Spiral Downwards - 1989.................................................................................................................27 A New Beginning.....................................................................................................................................28 Back to the Scene of the Crime................................................................................................................30 1991..........................................................................................................................................................34 1992..........................................................................................................................................................36 Another Geography Camp.......................................................................................................................37 Peter's Camping Trip................................................................................................................................39 The Camping Trip....................................................................................................................................41 An Answer to Peter's Camping Trip.........................................................................................................44 The Long and Winding Road Down........................................................................................................45 A New Town.............................................................................................................................................47 The Beginning..........................................................................................................................................49 On The Move Again.................................................................................................................................51 A Stranger Awakens.................................................................................................................................56 Returning home........................................................................................................................................58 Peek-a-Boo...............................................................................................................................................61 A Waking Dream......................................................................................................................................62 Aaron's experience...................................................................................................................................63 Keeping It In The Family.........................................................................................................................65 Moving Out Of Town...............................................................................................................................67 An Awakening..........................................................................................................................................71 Leslie's Experiences.................................................................................................................................73 The Beginning of Understanding.............................................................................................................76 A Few Years Latter...................................................................................................................................77 On The Move Again.................................................................................................................................80 Is There A Doctor In The Room?.............................................................................................................84 Photographer to the Spirit........................................................................................................................87 A waking visitor.......................................................................................................................................89 A Journey into MySpace..........................................................................................................................90 A Return to MySpace...............................................................................................................................95 An Experiment.........................................................................................................................................97

The Experimentation Continues.............................................................................................................100 Returning To Self Healing......................................................................................................................102 The Walls Are Falling............................................................................................................................108 Through The Looking Glass of My Life................................................................................................111 Contact...................................................................................................................................................115

I often sit and wonder, often questioning the very fabric of my life, my being, my
existence. I find this world at times to be a rather cold world to exist within; it is a world that is
spiritually and morally detached, drifting through time detached from its origin, detached from
its roots. So I will often sit and question my very being in this world, contemplating my
existence in this world, while often trying to answer a very basic yet difficult question. Do I
belong here, was this life a mistake? Do I have the energy to continue to exist within this
world, within a world that seems so lost, a world that is so cold and detached? Do I have the
energy to exist within a world where the societies are wondering around so completely lost
and detached from their roots, their origin, and their spirit? A world where this detachment is
causing a very real illness that our societies are completely ignoring.

I know that within my life I have deeply touched and helped many people, but I still
search for the answers for myself, to try and comprehend whether this life was a mistake, to
try and answer a very simple yet difficult question, was this life a mistake, is it worth living,
worth waking up each day and facing, or am I just wasting my time in this life, in this world?
Often wondering if I have reached a point where my only option is to end my life? I find this
world at times to be a very cold and detached world, a world that is very difficult to live within.
Often I find myself lost in this world because of the detachment that exists within this world
from its origins, from spirit, and lost because of the degree of violence, hatred, and prejudice
that flow through our societies.

Our societies are constructed, in my view, around boxes. People\u2019s experiences, their
belief systems so often place them within a box where anything that exists outside of that box
remains extremely difficult for them to comprehend, and thus they alienate those that do not
fit into that box that they have created to exist within. Their boxes that they live within, create
around themselves are their realities, and they are not always an honest and open reality.
The problem with living inside a box, with creating our realities inside of a box is that too often
we close the lids on our boxes and refuse to explore outside of that box. So we become
trapped within a box, a reality that is doing us more harm than good. These boxes that we
have created to live within are causing very real problems in our world, as people are too
afraid, to prejudiced to accept what lays outside of our boxes, our realities. It is the prejudice,
the hatred, the lies, and the coldness that is leaking out of these boxes, tainting our societies,