Originally printed in

WSD Today

, a supplement to the

Western Star.

This is a collection of pointers and observations about attending a straight square dance for your very first time.Originally part of a series which Patty White prepared in April, 1989, it was

edited by Freeman Stamper

The Northern California Roundup is always Memorial Day weekend and is being held in Santa Rosa this year [1989].WSD will be carpooling to Roundup on Saturday, May 26. While it will look and feel like the IAGSDC convention,workshops are not as extensive. You will be able to dance only at the highest program for which you have completedclasses. Being "pulled through" a few calls you don't know could be disastrous. The Club doesn't have time to schedule alearn-the-other-role class; however, if you are planning to go to Roundup, you will need to dance your correct biologicalrole. Use the next three Mondays to orchestrate some tips where you can dance your biological role if you are notcurrently doing so.The square dance scene is a large one, with over 25,000 clubs, fantastic callers, wonderful people and great dancing allover the world. WSD follows a policy of building gay square dancing and of interfacing with the straight dance community.Western Star has been building the bridge of interfacing since its beginning in 1982. Attending Roundup is our way ofpracticing this interface, and we have had considerable success in producing quality dancers who are noticed andrespected.Roundup will

look and feel

like any gay dance you have already attended. There are tips composed of hash, a singingcall, and a break. You will see a crinoline on every woman, so, since there is little if any "gender-bending," you'll not havedifficulty remembering who is dancing what role. As at any convention, Roundup rotates the callers through the varioushalls each hour. And it goes on almost all day, not just three hours.The

basic principle

is that the visitor (in this case, that's we the gay community) always follows the customs of the host(that's the straight community who has organized Roundup). Bowing to the customs of the host applies to styling, dress,floor courtesies, everything. Let's start with styling.

Styling

: You'll see a wide variety of dance styles—from sedate dancing, almost like a minuet, to very high-energy kicksand twirls. Many straight dancers do no styling since they feel it corrupts the smooth flow of the dance. Don't be fooledbecause their style looks a little dull; there are some very good dancers out there—people who are always in the rightplace at the right time, smoothly holding squares together and making everyone else feel great because they think theydid it!A few clubs actually disapprove of styling—perfectly innocent twirling for example or circling to a line without the taughtcircle and end-dancer twirl. Some ladies (LOL's—Little Old Ladies-- especially) don't like to be twirled (hard to believe, buttrue!). Some LOL's don't mind the twirl but don't get to do it often, so their balance may be off.

Be certain

that

YOU

are incontrol when you twirl the women. The men may never twirl women, so don't pull his joints out of socket by twirlingyourself.The thing to do is to take your cues from others in your square.

If in doubt, just don't style

until you see the others doingit. And if someone does a styling you've not done, just do your best to follow. You could catch on the second or third timethrough, and you might like it.

WHAT TO WEAR

: At straight dances, "square dance attire" is absolutely required in the clothing of your biological sex.(Yes, Steffany, the Bradleys, and Sybil must all stay home.) Men wear slacks or new jeans (button all the buttons) andlong-sleeved shirts, preferably western, with a complimentary-color western scarf (not really required). Women must weardresses, preferably with at least a small crinoline and definitely with pettipants. Everyone should wear sturdy, comfortableshoes (the floors may be cement). Cowboy boots are perfectly acceptable for men, but you'll see a lot of men with soft-

Freeman Stamper

soled shoes (complimenting their polyester trousers). Hats are not acceptable. Rhinestone jewelry is a no-no for womenas it snags, but you will see rhinestones on men's and women's clothing, just not excessive amounts.Failing to observe the "square dance attire" requirement may result in your being asked to leave the hall. Such as, amixed-sex couple who were wearing the biologically correct clothing were dressed in cute white sailor costumes. Thecostumes were well received at the Western Star retreat, but they were not permitted to dance at Roundup. And, it is notpolite to point at or visibly snicker about all the couples' matching outfits.

SAME-SEX COUPLES

: Until you get through Advanced and into Challenge, you will almost never see same-sex couplesoutside the gay community. People object to being confused about their positions, and everyone else outside the gaycommunity spends as much time concentrating on whether they're wearing a skirt or pants. That's why the gay communitycan produce better dancers–we concentrate on position and definition from the beginning rather than gender Identifiers.But, you can't change their education in one dance or in a weekend, so just don't do it.When there is an absolute need in the straight community for all students to dance, some students dance the oppositerole. This is almost always two women, and the "gent" will wear distinctive clothing. This is not a choice (as in the gaycommunity); this is a necessity.If you feel you must or bust dance as a same-sex couple for some reason, do so only in a square you know is very strongand only after you have asked permission of everyone in the square. And then only if you know for certain that the callerisn’t using your square as a pilot. (A pilot square is a square about which the caller makes written or mental notes aboutcouples and couples' homes and which he uses intermittently to make adjustments for problems on the floor.) These rulesare true also for opposite-sex couples dancing switched roles (called

arky

SWITCHING ROLES DURING A TIP

: Don't do it unless the entire square agrees that you can. Most people don't reallyenjoy your doing so, and most callers hate it. Again, if you absolutely must or bust, be certain you're not In the caller's pilotsquare.

DEALING WITH CURIOSITY

: If you are out of the closet, you won't have any problem in stating that Western StarDancers is a gay club—if they indicate they don't know your dub. We've been around long enough that the oldies probablywon't ask. If you feel uncomfortable saying 'gay' in mixed company, try Patty White's finesse: 'We're one of the SanFrancisco clubs, and I see you're a member of the [XYZ Squares]. Have you been dancing long?" She suggests practicingvacuous conversation as an aid to many other straight social situations. Once you're in the square and waiting for the tipto start, the other couples probably won't create much conversation.

Do introduce yourself

to all others in the square.After the introductions, people usually just pleasantly smile at each other hoping that all of you can get through the tip.What do you say when they ask when Is your club night? The truth.

DANCE PROFICIENCY

: Appraise your dance proficiency honestly. Everyone dreads getting stuck in a square withsomeone who thinks he/she can dance a program higher than he/she really can. It's no different than at your club—thestrongest dancers usually gravitate towards the front of the hall. If you must or bust dance a higher program than whereyou are proficient, take a square of your friends with you. Convention Is a place to shine and dance with many people andto many callers. Dance your best program so that you feel proud and all those with whom you dance feel privileged.

DRINKING

: The gay community is more tolerant of drinking at conventions than the straight community. Don't drink or usedrugs before or during the dance.

VENDORS

: Bring money and/or check book and/or credit cards. You'll see stuff you've never seen before. And, yes, theguys can buy crinolines and such, but you better be good at stretching the truth. If you need some advice, ask someonefrom Western Star who has had experience.

REMEMBER

: Square dancing is fun. You shouldn't do things that will cause you to be stressed nor should you do thingswhich you believe might cause others to be stressed. Underlying everything is the idea of respecting the other person.Square dancing is a cooperative activity, not a competitive one. Your square is not a place for you to show off as anindividual; rather, it's where each of the eight contributes to create something that not one could do alone. Remember thateach person in your square has something to contribute and each deserves your acknowledgment that his/hercontribution is valuable to you (however little it may see to you). When you happen to be in a square where all or some ofthe other dancers have less proficiency than you, just get through it gracefully. There is always another set when you cansquare up with different folks.

SQUARING UP:

Almost all straight dancers dance as "normal" couples, and they mostly square up that way. Get apartner before you head for the floor. (That's different from the way we do it.) It is considered bad etiquette to prearrangesquares (even in the gay community), so, if you simply must dance with a particular couple, loiter around next to each