Anthrax and the Common Man: Forewarned is Forearmed

by Christopher Michael Langan

This column usually monorails the cutting edge of science and philosophy. This
month, I have a less scholarly topic to address. It involves an oil-stained letter from
audi !rabia, received the same wee" that a similar letter mailed to a Microsoft
subsidiary in #eno, $evada tested positive for anthra%. The moral of the story& if you
e%pect your federal, state or local authorities to protect you from the threat of postal
bioterrorism, or for that matter any other "ind of bioterrorism, you might want to
thin" again. $ot only are there no effective procedures designed to address such
problems, but you could play hell getting anyone to even ta"e a loo".
Let me be more specific. In response to the following 'uestion&
(ow do I ma"e sure that this highly suspicious letter I )ust received is duly tested for
anthra% or other dangerous biological agents, as per F*I and other public health
advisories+
The correct answer might be&
If you are, or wor" in the offices of, a high-ran"ing politician, bureaucrat, or media
figure, )ust drop a dime to the *oard of (ealth, *ut if you-re not, well, spea"ing of
your health, have you been ta"ing your Cipro, lately+
In other words, the ne%t time you hear some officious televised tal"ing head earnestly
say something li"e, but there are only .%/ "nown cases of infection involving this
diseasease, )ust remember& numbers don-t always mean what they seem to mean. In
this case, they could mean simply that if you-re not a high-ran"ing politician or media
personage, the tal"ing heads really don-t give a hoot what you-re infected with as long
as they figure they won-t catch it from you. !nd to the best of my recent personal
e%perience, that-s 0od honest truth.
*efore I proceed, let me state my own 'ualifications to form opinions on public
safety. I-ve been in the security business on 1astern Long Island since 23456 that-s
almost 77 years. In addition, I-m an e%-8F .8nited tates Forest ervice/
Fireguard who once covered an area comparable in si9e to uffol" County alone, and
am well aware of the bureaucratic responsibilities and nuisances faced by civil
servants in general .in fact, I finally got fed up with them and 'uit/. In addition, I
"now a little bit about biology. 1nough said.
In order to ma"e the best social use of some publicity I-ve received over the last
couple of years, my girlfriend and I set up a charitable foundation, the Mega
Foundation, for the benefit of intellectually advanced adults and children. 1ach wee"
we receive a few applications from those see"ing to participate in various Foundation
programs. :uring the second wee" of ;ctober, we received our first application from
the Moslem world. !ccording to its return address and postmar", it had been mailed
from audi !rabia .all previous applications from the Middle 1ast had emanated
from Israel/. <hile the name of the return addressee loo"ed !merican, it was
un"nown to us. hortly after routinely opening the letter, my girlfriend remar"ed to
me that the envelope bore an oily stain. I loo"ed6 it was pin"ish in color. *aby oil+
Transmission fluid+ There was no safe way to "now. *ut given that the envelope had
emitted no obvious puff of white powder li"e that found in the anthra%-laden
envelopes recently received by media companies in Florida and Manhattan, I decided
to ignore it, until Friday, ;ctober 27, when I happened to see a report on a powder-
free but nevertheless anthra%-contaminated envelope sent from Malaysia to a
Microsoft subsidiary in #eno, $evada.
Included in the report was the 8#L .Internet address/ of an F*I !dvisory regarding
suspicious mail. This advisory listed the following warning signs& no return address6
restrictive mar"ings6 possibly mailed from a foreign country6 e%cessive postage6
misspelled words6 addressed to title only or incorrect title6 badly typed or written6
protruding wires6 lopsided or uneven6 rigid or bul"y6 strange odor6 wrong title with
name6 oily stains, discolorations or crystalli9ation on wrapper6 e%cessive tape or
string. The audi envelope carried at least three of these indicators .mailed from a
foreign country, addressed to title only6 oily stains/. In addition, there were at least
two other indicators publici9ed elsewhere& it was from someone we didn-t "now, and
the postmar" .:ammam/ did not match the return address .!l =hobar/.
>retty clear cut, no+ <ell, in all fairness, the envelope did contain what appeared to
be a legitimate application for participation in Foundation programs, and this was
bac"ed up by an online follow-up. *ecause the name in the return address seemed
!merican, we con)ectured that perhaps the applicant was an employee of the 8..
military, a 8.. oil company, or some other 8.. concern in the =ingdom of audi
!rabia. (owever, things weren-t 'uite that simple. audi !rabia is "nown to have a
large terrorist underground whose members presumably have access to the
wherewithal of bioterrorism, anthra%, smallpo%, plague, you name it. urely some of
them are to be found in the audi Civil ervice. ;nce a letter leaves the hands of a
audi resident, it must obviously be handled by the audi >ost ;ffice. It follows that
the audi >ost ;ffice would be an ideal place to contaminate 8-bound letters by,
say, splashing them with an oily suspension of virus or spores. Into a bag they go, and
the ne%t person to touch them is, surprise, surprise, an !merican, .uffice it to say
that anyone who treats this as --impossible-- or --highly unli"ely-- should consider a
career in high-sta"es gambling./
!nyway, having never received either an oil-stained letter or a letter from audi
!rabia, we toted up the probabilities and decided that the letter should probably be
tested. (ere-s a chronology of the near-comical wild goose chase that ensued.
First we called the <esthampton *each ?illage >olice. >olitely, they informed us that
we should contact outhampton Town. <e then called the outhampton Town >olice,
only to be connected with an apparently annoyed des" person. !fter a brief
conversation, it became evident that there was no procedure in place for evaluating
the threat from such mail or having it tested. <e then called the uffol" ;ffice of the
$ew @or" tate :epartment of (ealth, which was .naturally/ closed until Monday.
Then we tried the uffol" and $ew @or" ;ffices of the F*I, finally obtaining an 455
number, our call to which was answered by a lady who again gave us the uffol"
;ffice number. !t appro%imately A&55am, an F*I employee named Bill called our
home number, leaving a message re'uesting a return call. !t C&D5am she called again,
only to inform us that since her office didn-t handle ha9ardous materials complaints,
we should call 322. o we called 322 and told the operator about the letter. <e-ll send
a car by to ta"e a loo". <ill it be tested+ I as"ed. $o, we don-t do that.
!t this point, we decided to hold onto the letter lest it not be tested at all. Finally, we
bro"e down and called the uffol" F*I number again, informing the person who
answered that we had called 322 only to be told that the police would not have the
letter tested. @es they will, they-re )ust apparently not aware of that. .*ut of course
not,/ $e%t, we decided to try the uffol" County >olice :epartment, which politely
informed us that they lac"ed )urisdiction in our area and that we needed to contact
outhampton Town. outhampton town doesn-t test, we informed them. Then try the
:epartment of (ealth. ince the :epartment of (ealth was closed until Monday, we
again called 322. ;nce again, we as"ed if the police were willing to test the letter.
<e-ll send someone over to chec" it and see.
>erhaps half an hour later, a cruiser pulled up in the driveway. I e%ited the cottage,
letter in hand. The officer emerged from his car and began pulling on a pair of rubber
gloves as I approached. 0et bac", stay away from the car,, he commanded. .<hat+
(ad I spontaneously mutated into a body double of ;sama bin Laden+/ I stopped and
stood in the glare of his headlights as he finished gloving himself. !fter radioing
head'uarters to report that he was on site, he motioned that I should approach the car.
Is the letter in a plastic bag+ @es. In fact, it-s in two, one inside the other. ;"ay, let-s
have a loo" at it. (e didn-t want to touch it, so I laid it on the hood of his cruiser.
!fter e%amining the letter and stain with a flashlight, he radioed again. Then he
brought out a pad and pen and transcribed the letter-s return address. @ou "now this
person+ $o. More radio time. <ell, my ergeant said that it-s not what they-re loo"ing
for, no white powder, there-s a return address on it, today we got E5 complaints from
people about suspicious mail and we )ust don-t have time for that
#espectfully, I pointed out that the F*I web page and other sources had listed several
attributes of this letter as warning signs .foreign origin, oily stains, no prior
"nowledge of the sender, and so on/. I went on to e%plain that the apparent absence of
white powder was meaningless, since the #eno letter had lac"ed anything of the "ind
and had merely been sub)ected to li'uid immersion .and that for all we "new, the
envelope might contain traces of white powder as well/. I even mentioned that my
Foundation and I, having received a bit of international publicity, might conceivably
have been specifically targeted. *ut no dice. I definitely see what you mean, but I
can-t go against my ergeant, good luc". o again we called the F*I, informing the
agent, this one male, that 322 )ust wasn-t doing it for us. They don-t want to have it
tested, I told the agent. The agent-s professional opinion& That-s not really very smart
of them. 0ame over until Monday morning.
;n Monday, we called the :epartment of (ealth. ;h, yes, you can call 322 for that,
!gain, we e%plained that the local police weren-t in a testing mood. Then we called
the 1astport >ost ;ffice, which invited us to ma"e a report. Thin"ing that our chances
of getting a meaningful response would be better if such a report were filed with
someone I "new, we instead decided to contact someone at the peon" >.;., where
they happen to "now my face. >ost Ladies >at and :onna then provided me with the
number of Tom 0aynor, 8> >ublic #elations, and the C:C. Tom 0aynor gave me
the number of the $@C >ostal Inspector-s ;ffice6 the person who answered, while
unauthori9ed to ta"e any action, promised to have an Inspector return our call.
!round Apm, >ostal Inspector Boe #inaldi called to give us the bad news& <e-ve been
inundated and >ostal Inspectors are running around all over the place. o you
basically have two options& throw it away or call 322.
The day before, we-d seen our neighbor Cathy, a #ed Cross employee, in the grocery
store and as"ed her if she "new whom we should contact. $ow she came to the door
and gave us the number for a Lieutenant Iberger of the outhampton Town >olice.
<e than"ed her and called the number. 0reatly to our surprise, Lt. Iberger displayed
some interest. Let me chec" this out, see what we-ve got, maybe do a little paperwor"
on this. Then I-ll come by for a loo". Finally, some action by somebody in charge,
<hile we waited for the Lieutenant, we decided to call the C:C hotline. The person
who answered said that we should call the emergency number for the tate #eference
Lab of the $@ :epartment of (ealth. o we called the :epartment of (ealth and
were assured that someone would call us bac".
Lt. Iberger arrived at around Cpm. (e was courteous and professional, but unable to
promise that anyone would test the envelope. $evertheless, he promised to loo" for
some way of dealing with the situation. <hen he mentioned that a good many of the
false alarms had involved plain brown envelopes sent to !mericans by con artists
operating out of $igeria, I informed him that these scams have been going on for a
very long time in $igeria, where crime sometimes seems to be the $ational port,
and that my brother, my girlfriend and one of my friends had at various times
received written proposals or invitations to $igeria from $igerians claiming to be
wealthy investors or charitable donors. .! call or two to the F*I and tate
:epartment had confirmed that !mericans accepting such invitations are often bil"ed
or even "idnapped./ ;ut of respect for the Lieutenant-s intelligence, I refrained from
pointing out to him that an ongoing flood of scam mail from $igeria scarcely seems
li"e a reason not to test an oil-stained letter from audi !rabia.
$ot too long after the Lieutenant departed, we received a return call from =athy
Carlton of the $ew @or" :epartment of (ealth. he was obviously fra99led from
overwor", but concerned and an%ious to be helpful. I-ll start trying to do something
about this right away, if no one contacts you tonight, you should definitely hear from
someone tomorrow, because the state lab is inundated, as you can imagine, this is a
triage situation, our directive from the C:C mandates a local ris" assessment by the
F*I, of course, they-re inundated as well. I hate to say this, but don-t be too
disappointed if, even if and when someone gets bac" to you, they simply tell you to
throw the letter out. .Throw it out where - a public trash receptacle+ (ow about the
one in front of Mc:onald-s+/ omehow, we weren-t especially surprised when
nobody from the :epartment of (ealth called us bac" the ne%t day.
<e spo"e to Lt. Iberger again on Tuesday. (e said that he could have the letter pic"ed
up by the uffol" County :epartment of 1mergency ervices for transportation to
!lbany along with other items of suspicious mail that had been received by area
residents. 8nfortunately, since he was being given contradictory information by
various authorities, he could not guarantee that the letter would be tested. .*y the
way, we have no reason to believe that the Lieutenant-s )ob performance was anything
but the best it could be under the circumstances./ In view of his uncertainty about
whether tests would be run, we re'uested that the person in charge of pic"-up call us
before coming. That way, we could as" him about testing directly, and if the answer
were negative, hold onto the letter for testing later on, without, of course, holding our
breath.
The ne%t day .<ednesday/, the uffol" County :epartment of 1mergency ervices
called to schedule a pic"-up. <e as"ed if the letter would be tested. The answer& $o.
o we opted to hold onto it for later analysis, or barring that, a personally supervised
trip to the incinerator. (aving brought the goose chase case to a decidedly
unsatisfactory close, we regretfully replaced the suspicious letter in its drawer
pending unforeseen future developments. .(ey, at least it-s in a plastic bag,/
$ow, some readers may be as"ing themselves how it might be, given the officially
ac"nowledged need to test suspicious mail due to multiple apparent cases of
bioterrorism, that an oil-stained letter handled by persons un"nown in the =ingdom
of audi !rabia, a letter bearing several warning signs posted by the F*I and
announced over several ma)or television networ"s - does not warrant the temporary
dirtying-up of a glass bea"er and a couple of paper test strips. That-s a very good
'uestion. <hile the letter may be totally innocent, the sun shines hot in !rabia, and
maybe a little tanning lotion got spilled on it en route to the >.;., it surely seems to be
the "ind of thing that the F*I and other federal and state organi9ations are as"ing
!merican citi9ens to report and submit for testing. o why aren-t the tests being run+
!gain, that-s a good 'uestion. If you-re a enator or a enator-s !ide, or a networ"
anchorman or anchorman-s assistant, you can have any suspicious letter that you see
tested with no more than a phone call. <hile the letter is being tested, you will be
screened for infection, and if you wish, placed on precautionary antibiotics. *ut if
you-re Boe Citi9en, things may wor" a bit differently for you, more li"e they wor" for,
say, a guinea pig. To put it bluntly, the government will wait to see if you become a
full-fledged, medically-certified bioterrorism disease victim, and will let you ta"e
your own time and spend your own money to find that out. !nd if you do, then you,
and perhaps whomever else has been in first, second or third-hand contact with you,
will have the opportunity to serve your nation as disease vectors-'ua-canaries in the
coal mine. ;n the other hand, if you have no medical insurance, and nobody
recogni9es your symptoms until many others begin showing them as well, then all
bets are off.
These are times of peril and sacrifice, and none of us wants to overburden our
already-harried emergency services departments with nuisance calls. *ut we do have
a right to e%pect due diligence, and we have the right to be told straight up what
measures will be ta"en on our behalf. That is, we should not be misled into a false
belief that )ust because the rear ends of successful 8.. politicians and celebrities are
.as usual/ well-covered, the government has things well under control in the
bioterrorism department. !s this e%ample shows beyond any shadow of doubt, it
would be easy, without official detection, obstruction or penalty, to mail virulent
microorganisms into this country in or on clearly suspicious letters or pac"ages
whose recipients would try in vain to report them.
<ith all due respect to our national morale, this is no time for feel-good propaganda
regarding public welfare. ;nly when citi9ens are fully and accurately informed of the
real situation can they raise their level of vigilance to match the true level of ris".