LIFE ISN'T PRETTY!

by: WILLIAM DUKENFIELD

A TALE OF OLD PEOPLE'S TUKHUS'S AND LIFE IN THE SERVANT CLASS.
CHAPTER ONE: FALLING FROM GRACE INTO SHIT!

After my job went to the mystical east, that is India, and my company went from a benefits company to an outsourcing
company with blinding speed and inefficiency; I hit the bottom of the job market. This trend of outsourcing was not a good
thing for me or for many schmucks known as the baby boomers now deemed ancient and useless.
Ironically, if I had been Indian, the one with the dot and not the one stuck on an Indian reservation life might have taken a
turn for the better. That i!'t a "a#it tat$%$!t i& y'( "$a)i*$ that I +'!'t )i,$ h(%a! i! -$!$"a). A)) h(%a! !' %att$"
.hat #"$$+/ #')'"/ "$)i-i'! th$y ha0$ a)) +ia11'i!t$+ %$ %$ i! th$i" $thi#/ %'"a) a!+ &"i$!+)i!$. I ,!'. i! h(%a!
hit'"y/ th$"$ ha b$$! '%$ !'t$+ h(%a! b$ha0i!- h$"'i# a!+ a#hi$0$+ '%$ ta, &'" th$ -''+ %a!,i!+/ b(t '!
%y b)'#, a!+ )i&$ %'t 1$'1)$ a"$ )it$+ a ah')$ '" &(t("$ ah')$. I +i+ h'1$ t' %$$t -"$at 1$'1)$/ b(t ' &a"/ a+)y/
th$ '!$ I ha0$ %$t '! a 1$"'!a) )$0$) !$0$" 2(it$ %$a("$+ (1.
I ha0$ !'thi!- a-ai!t a!yb'+y b$#a($ th$y a"$ !'!3.hit$. Y'( $$ I +it"(t a!+ +'!'t )i,$ .hit$ 1$'1)$ $ith$". I&
y'( $0$" !'ti#$+ $"ia) ,i))$" a!+ th'$ %a h''t$" a"$ !'"%a))y .$i"+ .hit$ -(y. The pattern is older white guys,
serial killers and the younger white guys shooters of mass killings at Highschool, colleges, etc. !ost people even white
people should be just as scared when seeing an odd middleage white guy or male teenager dressed in black with an A"#$"
Tshirt looking totally spaced out or pissed at the world.
%n the whole, you can only trust your pets. If you love your pets, they will give unconditional love, whereas, people most
likely will fuck you over the first chance they get. $uring my life, I would see most everybody scratching for a buck and
dime and some even turning to murder, or the minor sin of adultery to feed their inner faulty human nature, but that is not the
total story here.
CHAPTER TWO: SEX-APPEAL AND A MARRIED PHILIPPINE HORN DOG DESTROY'S MY CAREER.
INDIA AND PAKISTAN ARE UNITED IN DESTROYING A HAPLESS SCHMUCK...ME!
!y fault was due to my age and appearance.
There is even a study proving that goodlooking people make more money on the jobmarket and get hired faster.
http&##online.wsj.com#news#articles#'()***)+,+*-,./*,*012/-*+-/11--00)+)2,*+2+,
(eing middleage meant I was no longer deemed fit for the American corporate scene.
America somehow e3uates youth with brilliance and motivation.
I $2(at$ y'(th .ith +"(!,$! %ita,$ a!+ 1''" .'", habit. And so it goes. This became blindly apparent like a fucking
aircraft landing light shining into my feeble eyes when I met the future me.

4ou see; I was forced out for a younger more Asian version of myself. The female version of me, wasa cute ,* something
5akistan girl who used her se6 appeal to win my pseudo boss over.
I guess it was my 3uest for job fucking security that did me in.
!y stupidity came into play when I desired to get promoted out of my position as a lowly network operator. 4ou see,
although I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, I knew that 7IT goal was to move their computer operations to India. !4
plan might have worked, but for some reason, I always encounter an ass hole that has a knack for making my life a shit fest
of pain and suffering. It was my first day in my office when I met the young girl in all her sparkly brownskinned beauty that
would turn my life into a nightmare.
I was in early in my corner office ne6t to Ivar8s office, when she arrived. 'he had that twentyyearold se6 appeal meant
she was wearing not the normal business skirt and button downed business blouse, but tight fitting blue jeans and a top that
showed her cleavage. I, being middleage knew that she was playing up her se6appeal for what it was worth. (eing in the
world of computers at that time meant an attractive female was rare thing, something like spotting a twoheaded chicken.
!ost of the women whom I worked with had weight issues. "omputer %perations for the workers both male and female is
normally where you go into grubbiness of losing the makeup and polish of dressing for success. I worked with %perators who
lived in sweat pants, and some women operators tipped the scales at two hundred pounds, plus. 'adly, these women didn8t try
to have nice personality to make up for their handicap of being fat. Those women normally had a very surly disposition,
unless that had a crush on one the boytoys that worked in the unit. The "hunkettes then would be charming to the boytoy to
try to get them to date a chubby married lady who dreamed of replacing their clown of husband with sleak new se6 machine.
Their charm failed on all the boytoys which made them even more surly. As I left that unit of fat women and men who had
given up the social graces of life, I entered the unit of beautiful younger creatures who were considered bright shining
e6amples of brain power and beauty. %nce I entered my new office, I meet beauty, brains and evil.
I looked up from my $ell computer to see her give me the once over look of disgust. 9Hi my name is !ike, welcome.:
In that weird moment, she let me know that she didn8t want to share in office with me. It was a look and vibe that gives that
all away. 4ou can tell right away when you are deemed unworthy with the younger set.
;ith that (ritish accent, the India culture seems stuck with; she replied in that singsong voice. 9I am 5ayal Tharma.:
'he then gave me that look like I was an insect. 'he was starting unloading her knapsack of crap on the desk across from
me with a desire to make me disappear like a cockroach in a kitchen.
I noticed it had some photos of an old guy who either was her father or maybe a relic from India. 'he seemed to be bored
already.
Hmm, this was going to be weird, my mind said to myself.
I tried to be charming, but unless one is the right age and correct appearance, these sort of things fall flat. !y mind wondered
what type of person is this bright and beautiful shiny babble of a person<
;hat she did ne6t e6plain to me what I was in store for. It was the deadgive away what sort of a woman she was.
9Hmm, !ike. "an I leave my car parked here in the parking lot overnight< !y friends are taking me out to celebrate my
promotion.:
(ingo, welcome to the wonderful world of hiring teenagers. I knew that she would be getting drunk.

I had nailed it, the ne6t day she did show up hungover. %f course, the other idiots in my group didn8t reali=e or turned a
blind eye to her less than stellar performance on her second day of work. 'he actually went home sick. 7nless your boss is
your friend, I bet going into your boss and stating, 9I am one hungover sonof bitch.: It is not going to get you promoted.
!y brain said narc on her, but I reali=ed cute and se6y would cut her slack, and boy was I right.

The mistakes most American corporations make is they think that Indians, 5akistani are studious and never party like
their American coworkers. !y inner reali=ation that most people no matter culture or religion are corruptible was apparent
when I met the first contract workers from India.
>etsoft was hired to work on our >etdyanmics software for deployment of java code. ?our guys from India who were given
my future office. As an operator, we had to work with them directly telling them if there were errors or problems when they
moved code.
!ost operators would have to call or notify any support staff of problems as the managers would freak out if there were
alarms showing up on our monitors. ;e had large T@ screens like >A'A setup to impress the clients, in theory if there were
any AB$ alarms blinking immediate action was to take place. 'olve the problem and 3uickly was the motto of the middle
managers milling about.
CIronically, most teams never tuned their alarm system correctly so there were a lot of false alarms, but most groups
wouldn8t work with operations to resolve these bogus alerts.D
;e were to page the support staff, and they were immediately to call us back and start resolving the issue.
;e paged the >etsoft team but nothing happened our most anal manager, a woman; we nicknamed 9THB $7EB,F as she
was weirdly the spitting image of Gohn ;ayne in drag, glared at me, which meant immediate action must take place. Hike the
movie version of the $uke,she would go into a leadership role having a fit that sounded like this&
9HI'TB> 75I 5IHJAI! I ;A>T THI' ?IKB$ >%;.:

I knew that she would bother us until the team finally responded, so I decided to use the best method without the futility of
waiting on someone their electronic leash. I got up and walked to their office across the hall. 'ince it was a crisis, I walked to
their office knocked on the door and opened it. ;alking in their office, I found the whole group were sleeping in their chairs,
the only one that appeared awake had headphones on listening to his (ollywood showtunes. (usiness schools like Harvard
and 4ale or ;harton most likely never cover these types of topics, but it is the norm in most large corporations.
Th$ #ha1t$" #'()+ b$ #a))$+ .hat t' +' .h$! y'(" H4Via .'",$" #"$. '&& )i,$ th$ A%$"i#a! .'",$" y'( 5(t
&i"$+.
"orporations are filled with these types of events and characters.
I had a devote !uslim named !ohammed looking at pornography. I had boss who was the poster for being blonde and
good looking but ethically challenged. !y manager was (ill Langer, who was promoted not for being smart; he was the male
version of the dumb blonde joke. He was indicative of who got promoted and who got screwed over for management. The
most ugly nonass kisser never made into management; (ill, however, looked perfect for the role of a manager, tall and thin,
powerful with a crew cut, with the right wardrobe of white pressed shirt and power tie, the yellow one with tiny red dots.
He was a nice guy and a manager that left you alone since he was a dimbulb. 'ince he was good looking, he was headed
for more promotions, e6cept for that incident which was his downfall.
>ot being smart about the world of accounting, he had finally gotten caught embe==ling money out of petty cash to cover his
gambling debts of ten thousand dollars. The Internet was new then and gambling was open to many a dumb chump with a 5"
and Internet connection.
Therefore, poor (ill was taken out of 7IT by his earlobe. %nce the Accountants Aeali=ed That (ill had taken out ten
thousand dollars for himself his good looks and manager status evaporated. A manager did actually come into office with
security and grasp his earlobe and lead him out of the building. (ill disappeared along with all his stuff bo6ed up into the
wonder world of corporate screw ups.
7nlike (ill, I had committed no crimes, but I was wise enough to know that the future was moving the work to India and
the time I spend solving problems and carrying a pager would not save my ass from the termination festival planned for
profits. 7it itself like Joogle had been generous with their free lunch, or their benefits for working !om8s, but it still was a
hell of sweatshop for the working class member or associate.
I was fucked and I knew it. I trusted Ivar to at least train me in my new role, but he spent all his time with his new love.
The only other member of my Team was a middleage India named (onkia Jaur who had been working years in websphere
and planned on relocating to work from home. 'he had planned to fuck the company over as soon as she got hired.
I tried my best to make an alliance with her, but she ironically sided with 5ayal, who I found out was from 5akistan. >ow,
they should have given me the >obel peace pri=e since I united India and 5akistan in an alliance. 'adly, they made an
alliance to get rid of meI 'o much for being a peace maker. ;ell, it didn8t take long for my nervous breakdown. Trying to
teach myself meant working twelvehour days reading manual that were written by e6perts in their field but didn8t fit the 7it
system.

!y boss, a married 5hilippine guy, named Irav spent all his free time with ,*yearold 5akistan se6 kitten. Irav, therefore,
gave me the worst projects with no guidance. It was a perfect plan to drive me to the point of madness.
I was made feel as welcome in the group as a hooker at a church social. It was like weird out of body e6perience of seeing
yourself getting screwed over. Hike a car accident, you are in where you can just see yourself being crushed into the
pavement and can8t stop the crash. 4ou can tell something about a guy when his first car is a cheesy TransA!. Ivar8s first
car was a very cheesy Transam that his mechanical incompetence couldn8t keep running.
;hile Ivar worked on driving home romancing the bone with the 5akistan 5rincesses, and I was left to have a nervous
breakdown trying to teach myself a brandnew job with no real manuals or guidance.

!y biggest mistake was not blackmailing this sonof bitch into keeping my position. 4ou see; I had met Ivar8s wife, 5inky her
nickname from the 5hilippines. I reali=ed that demure oriental beauty would have taken Ivar to the poorhouse, if she found
out that he was already playing hide the sausage with a twentyyearold.
%n the hand would she believe me<
I knew that Ivar could talk his way out anything with both managers and his wife, as he was slated too cute and not
capable of betraying his worshiping audience. I saw this first hand, as Ivar had worked as !@'operator on the third shift
and one of the political correct gay managers would catch him sound asleep on his shift.
%f course, if I had been caught sleeping, I would have been fired. Ivar was just given a pat on the head and reminder to try
to stay awake. %thers that had tried to sleep through work normally got fired but those were the ugly people or not a chic
minority. Ivar was golden to everybody, like he had no faults.
Therefore, I predicted that 5inky, Ivar8s wife wouldn8t believe the evidence of his betray. 5inky was a 5hilippine beauty, but
her fatal flaw was worshiping a man who was going through an early midlife crisis. Hike most women getting older, she
planned to marry her prince, Ivar. Ivar always thought of himself as a player, and that marriage institution must have seemed
to be just another chain in the link of life. 7it chained him to his desk and 5inky wanted him forever and ever chained in a
mortgage and future diaper hell.

Ivar had finally married his longsuffering ?lippino girl friend nicknamed 5inky but still flirted with the younger females in
the office. (eing young and Asian was hip and se6y, so he lapped up all the attention.
I was jealous of course, that he had a pretty wife and was a golden god at work. %ur company 7IT also had a hardon
for anything Asian. Asian were looked at as being both cute and but more importantly cheap. 7IT8s secret or maybe not so
secret got rid of the deadweight if it the worker was e6pensive workers who had builtup wages and vacation days. These
workers were mainly men in middleage who handed attained the brass wing and worked in more menial positions.
I was on a hit list of course. The others on that hit list were sadly the elderly, the ugly women with mediocre degrees also
were forced out by the women whom were grappling for power. It was a total $arwinian scene.
I had a nervous breakdown one night thinking how I was infinite loop of torture. ?uck it, I decided it was time just to get
out of 7IT. 7IT as company was going through the shit. The brown stuff is hitting the fan phase of their business. The free
lunch and the benefits part of 7IT original business was no longer viable. The "?% and the "B% left the building with
golden parachutes.
I no longer wanted to fight or be there while the place dissolved into chaos. ?inally, I said fuck it and resigned. Twentyfour
years in the world of mainframe computer was mostly boredom, hell, striving for better things. !ost of the people were on
the weird side and when I left, I felt good. >o longer did I have the pressure or the
pager following me like toddler tugging on my shirt.

CHAPTER THREE:
MY LIFE ENTERING OLD PEOPLE HELL!
A CAREER CHANGE YOU MIGHT NOT WANT UNLESS YOU ARE A SAINT!

I was like my father screwed and a little bitter. 7nemployed people near forty or over have it very tough finding a job.
The only job I could get was working as a caregiver for the elderly. It was a job that I was suited, since granny lived with us,
and I understood the basics of the aging process. %ne of my first patients was a man who like my father had been a veteran.
His problem was that he went in for a knee replacement at the @A. Hike my father who went to get his old body fi6, this man
got screwed over by @A8s incompetence. They broke my father8s colon, and this guy got a leg that could not bend at the knee.
I don8t recommend the @A until they really fi6 the place up. ;hen my ?ather was there they even closed the surgical unit
down. I was shocked that this guy went to the @A instead of a regular hospital, as now the knee, they had replaced now didn8t
work at all. This senior now ended up with a leg brace and knee that didn8t bend.
This would end up being a bitch for both, me and him. If I was religious, I would wonder why is Jod torturing me with this
job and testing my patience and soul.

The old guy was a retired politician. (ob MMMMMMM, the mayor of HighNNNN no less. He strangely didn8t talk like a
politician, in fact;he didn8t talk much at all. I will give the old guy credit as he went for a walk every day he could. The
problem is I didn8t how far a guy with one good leg could walk. I asked his wife how far can he walk< 'he was clueless about
her husbands work out routine. Her
wifely main goal was to get out the house and have some fun without her husband.
'he would run out of the house so 3uickly, I nicknamed her the flash. It was like being tested on my first day, as the old guy
from High was walking with me ne6t to me on the street. This section of HighO had no sidewalks, as the rich or near
wealthy don8t like side walks. "ars rushed by as the old man kept on walking. I was worried that we both get crushed by a
!ercedes or (!; in their mad dash to rush around in elite >a=i8s mobiles that proved they had made the grade I worried as
the old man kept walking.
9$on8t you think we should go back now; this is very far<:
I looked on as the old guy had to work very hard to move his leg that was in the brace. He had to use his whole body to
throw the leg for each step. 9I normally go this far and back.: (ob said that with confidence that didn8t match the reality of
the length of the walk.
The street loomed ahead with great front lawns that showed their status. This was a cheaper version of the Jreat Jabsy, but
still a much better kept neighborhood than mine. I noticed that the street had many pot holes for an affluent area. Trying
levity and some cajoling to get the old guy to turn around, I gave it my best shot.
9If you were still the !ayor, this street maybe in better condition, so we had better go back in so you complain about this
new administration.:

As we started back to his house, I noticed that he was getting a little weaker. He used his walker properly, but his arms were
getting tired. >ow, I watched him more closely. I wish his damn wife knew how far he could actually walk. ;e were moving
slowly and more than halfway home, and then he stumbled. I grabbed him and held him up. He weighed about )/- pounds,
but I had to get him back in the house.
9Hold onI (ob, I am going to carry you back.:
I started carrying him back with a drag techni3ue. I held him and shuffled back to his driveway. I looked around and
knowing that he didn8t have a wheelchair in the garage, and I couldn8t hold him much longer. In the burbs that is normally
not a lot of people outside, mainly they get in their cars and go. I look and see two kids outside. Thank Jod. 9HB4 EI$', I
>BB$ 4%7A HBH5I:
9Eids get me a chair out of the garage.: Thankfully, these kids did what they were told, and they brought me a garden
chair.:
%nce they brought me the chair. I sat him down in it. (oth, he and I were e6hausted. I think $ad would have been a proud
marine who meant don8t leave your buddy behind. I didn8t lose him. $on8t leave the wounded or dead behind, right dad.
;orse yet about being a caregiver involves heavy lifting diapers, cranky old people with a pay that is insulting. The wage is
low near minimum wage and no medical benefits. Het me tell you; you need medical benefits if you are carrying or lifting up
old people for a living. The mayor was happy and told his wife that I had carried him back. 'he spent most of her days
avoiding him while I was partcook, part caregiver and part fake nurse. In fact, she actually ran out the house and would
chastise me for being five minutes late.

'he would yell and shout at me for being five minutes late while hurrying into her P0- infinity.
The mayor still didn8t talk much. %nly on a rare occasion did we converse. He had his routine. It started with a bagel and a
cup coffee and the >ew 4ork Times and "hicago 'untimes. 4es, kids, old people read the newspapers. His wife, $oris
would have me make the coffee or leave out the cream cheese if she was in a good mood.
I would have to get him out of bed put on his leg brace and then get him dressed. %ne day, she must have gotten up real early
and told me, that she had a special event to go to. I got (ob up and fit him into the only pants he could fit. He had lots of
clothes, but they no longer fit him. He was not in bad shape but had weight gains only have one lousy working leg. I tried to
get the wife to get rid of the clothes to charity. 'he said she would, however, the clothes just sat in his closet. A poor person
could use them as they were still in very good shape, slightly out of style but clothes that came from very nice stores. Hike
!arshall ?ields, "arsons and some highend independent stores.
(ob was tough as he walked by throwing his body around his bad leg. He had good upperbody strength, and his mind
was still sharp. Bven he didn8t talk me; I sort of liked the guy. He had been a successful businessman, and he was famous as a
major. 'ince he didn8t talk much I was shocked, he got elected. His wife, on the other hand, was someone I grew to hate. I am
not sure how those two got hooked up. 'he most likely was a looker and still was goodlooking for an old lady. ?or an
imagine she was almost a twin of >ancy 5elosi only shorter.
Although I was nice to this guy and bathed him clothed him and fed them, those cheap bastard would not offer me a
baloney sandwich. I could put up with their cheapness but the old lady got to me.
%ne word describes her to me today. !BA>I
4ou are most likely saying to herself, how mean can one old lady be< ;ell, let me tell you. The worst job of the caregiver
is giving that person a bath or shower. THAT one word is, A;E;AA$I
I am seeing a stranger totally naked, worse yet I have to scrub that person clean. I reali=ed that Gesus washed the feet of the
poor, but did he ever have scrub and wipe an old guy in his eighties. I tried to keep his and my dignity, and I was careful not
to drop the old guy. Haying on the (ob8s bathroom floor I had to remove his leg brace then get off his clothes, then I helped
lift his bad leg into the tub. I would make sure that he was on his bench and set the water to the right temperature. >ow was
the tough part. $rying him off and making sure he didn8t slip while getting on the tub with only one good leg. This is where
(ob knew he needed me. (ob was normally a mild person, but one time he said something that pissed him off, and I
reminded him that I could right now and leave him to have his wife take care of him. This worked, as he 3uickly apologi=ed.
I would say that the only good about having a crappy job is the ability to say, 9TAEB THI' G%( A>$ 'H%@B IT.:
I felt sorry for the old guy, as I reali=ed his wife didn8t like this part of the marriage vow; that sickness and health are
normally a deal breaker, as for his kids. They would have never done this type of hard work. Taking care of someone
correctly re3uired hard manual labor, which is frowned upon with the babyboomer generation that has that college degree.
Ironically, the company that hired me a ?ranchise called MMMMM'tead senior care, said there would be never any heavy lifting.
(7HH'HITI

After the shower, I had to get him dressed again, which was more difficult when I reali=ed that my workspace was a tiny
bathroom. !y bulky body was now crammed up against the wall and floor while holding his leg up to line up the brace.
Bven though the house was in HighMMMMM, it was large on the first floor. This was the design to impress the 3uests. In the
living room with an open concept that is chic. However, the upstairs bathroom was tiny. I had to lay on my side and struggle
putting on his brace
before I could get his pants back on. %nce I got the brace on. I had to hold him up and get the pants on. %f course, I had
mopped up the floor with the old towels and just hung them back up on the towel rack.

;hat I didn8t know is that this !an8s wife was about to show me the dark evil side of elder care. %nce this was done, the ne6t
stop was to stand behind (ob while he hopped down the stairs. At any moment I might have to hold on to him if he started
fallen. ;hat I didn8t know is that this !an8s wife was about to show me the dark evil side of elder care. %nce this was done,
the ne6t stop was to stand behind (ob while he hopped down the stairs. At any moment, I might have to hold on to him if he
started fallen.
>ow as he made it down the first step, his butt was directly in my face. I prayed to the god of flatulence that he didn8t pass
any gas, talking about adding insult to injury low pay and butts. If I had been a cute female stripper butt, the low pay would
have been okay. Hucky for me (ob also fought with constipation, so he wasn8t a very gas filled. %nce he made it into the
kitchen he sat at his alcove staring at the window.

>e6t I cut his bagel and poured his coffee while he read his newspaper. It seemed fine as he didn8t speak, and I just sat down.
Then all of sudden his wife came screaming in the kitchen.
(ob was entranced with his newspaper. $oris rushed in carrying a bath towel that had been used. 94%7 $I$>8T HA>J 75
THB P7B'T T%;BH 75 5A%5BAH4.: This she shouted at me.
I was stunned to say the least. 9H7H<: (ob turned to looking at his wife. 9THB T%;BH' 'H%7H$ (B H7>J 75
>BATH4<:
9(ut !rs. MMMMMM the towels I thought would be washed since they have been used for your H7'(A>$s 'H%;BA.F
Hike a cartoon character, steam seemed to be building between her ears. !y mind said who the hell uses towels over again
once someone took a major shower. 'he still had that cra=y look in her eyes. 9The maid, doesn8t come in to do the wash until
Thursday.:
9$oris, I didn8t know that and my goal is to make sure that husband doesn8t fall in the bath or anywhere.: $oris huffed, and
(ob shot her a dirty look. I thought about 3uitting, as this woman was cra=y. It hit me that I owed the guy not to be put into
harm8s way. I figured that if I left, (ob might have to incur her wrath. I will take it for a while and see if it gets any better.

CHAPTER FOUR: DEATH RIDE WITH A SENIOR DRIVER... 6OD HELP ME!....
I MEET THE MAID WHO WALKED FROM HELL INTO THE AMERICAN DREAM....
(ob and I got along, but his wife always seemed to flee the scene like a criminal. 'he wanted me now to drive (ob to his
appointments at the @A; I tried to fit him in my car, a )../ ?ord !ustang. His leg would never fit in my car. !y car wasn8t
big enough. $oris then wanted me to use her 30- Infinity, which is a Q+*,***.** or more sports sedans. Gesus, if I damaged
her car, I would be her slave trying pay off the damages. 9$oris, I don8t feel comfortable driving your car.: THI' 5I''B$
HBA %??. 'HB $I$>8T ;A>T T% '5B>$ A>4 TI!B ;ITH HBA H7'(A>$ AT THB @AH%'5ITAH

$oris was steaming mad again, thankfully, (ob interceded to put her in her place. 9$oris just drive as he wouldn8t feel
comfortable driving somebody else car.: $oris glared at me like a snake.
The 30- is beautiful car and very sporty sedan. I didn8t know how sporty until I had got (ob in the passenger seat, the
leather heated lu6ury bucket seat was better designed than any chair in my house. The car itself cost the original price of my
parent8s house, Q)+,+,*** for house in ).+. and the cost of this car about Q0*,***.**.
$oris started the car with the button. >othing like a pedestrian key method for this car. Gust like Games (ond the interior
display lite up to display all that slick and hitech, Gapanese brilliance.
$oris then slammed down the gas pedal in the garage as the automatic garage door opened. The car8s tires now spun as she
jammed the gas pedal. I was e6ploded back into my seat as she backed out with ama=ing speed. Holy crap my mind said. I
might die today in this crappy job. (ob looked on hanging onto his seat and the leather strap that was on top of the car8s door
jam. (ob didn8t say anything, but he had the same look of fear in his face that was reflected in mine as we sped down the side
streets. $oris had it fifty miles hour on the fucking side street. (ob now finally spoke. 9Gesus $oris slow it downI:
'he now slightly stopped mashing down the accelerator while (ob and said our prayers. (ob8s prayer something to the
Gewish godlike help me survived this meshuggah wife I married. !y pray to agnostic Jod of justice that protects the good
against the cheap, mean and cra=y ladies whom you didn8t marry.
%nce on the freeway, $oris went back to be a speed demon, (ob turned white, and I just mumbled in the backseat. 95lease
Gesus, I am sorry, don8t let me die at the hands of this Gewish 5rincess.F
9Aemember Gesus, I have to take care of my !other.:
I looked at the speedometer and my god; she had that 30- up to ninety miles an hour. 'he bobbed and weaved out of track
like she was an >A'"AA driver. I think; she could have beaten any of those hillbilly drivers on a dirt track. >ormally, it
would take about forty minutes to get to the @A, but we made it in fifteen minutes. I am not sure but I think (ob passed out
for a moment, as we pulled into the parking lot. 9;B are hereI:
$oris said this while I, and (ob gulped some air and reali=ed we were both alive. I had to get his wheelchair out of the trunk
and get him into the chair. Hucky for (ob, even if the ride had made him pee in his pants and least he had on a diaper.
I checked myself and lucky for me I didn8t pee in my pants, but it came close. I got (ob in the wheelchair and pushed him
while $oris adjusted her makeup and marched along side. %nce inside, she became the doting wife, as if the press was going
to interview her on how to be a good and faithful, >ancy Aeagan style wife. 'eeing her go into this act made me want to
throw up.
The @A had improved visually since I took my ?ather to this place. It was remodeled to take care of the new victims of
>eocon warmonger madness. It now had more veterans, the Ira3 and Afghan veterans who would be flooding the system.
The place was crowded and still worked as well as your local post office. It would take a long time for (ob to get a simple
blood test.
$oris put on the show of being a politician8s wife and schmoo=ed the audience of veteran and their wives. I really started
hated that bitch. ;hat a fraud. At least, (ob wasn8t that fake, even for a politician he never seemed to put on that dog and
pony and show.
It took about two hours to get (ob in for his simple blood test, $oris then drove us home at the speed of Aichard 5etty. 'he
was still pissed at me since spending time on stuck in the @A didn8t redeem me in her eyes. Hucky for me my time was
running out as I had another patient to take care of. !y last duty was to make (ob lunch.
I had been dreaming of starting a new career as "hef so I thought this job could lead to putting down on my resume
that I was a personal chef for the rich and stuffy. However, (ob was not a man who seemed to love food or least try new
types of food. Bvery lunch consisted of me making him a sandwich on a Jeorge ?oreman grill.
The only thing I varied for (ob8s palette was lunchmeat. $oris bought one pound of Ham, Aoast (eef, Turkey and then a
nice 3uality fiber wholewheat bread. %f course, I was never offered a sandwich and $oris always over bought that the lunch
meat would actually spoil; it would turn green or rainbow colors. I told her to cut back to a half a pound instead of a pound,
'ince $oris was gone, and it was lunch time I would sneak around and make myself a sandwich. Hifting up old people will
make you hungry. I joked that the Ham wasn8t kosher, but my joke fell flat. I would assemble the sandwich with the lunch
meat, and weirdly every sandwich had to have barbecue sauce on it.
I will give Jeorge ?oreman credit that grill was brilliant marketing method of making sandwiches. 'adly, (ob never let
me try a hamburger or something different, as his pattern never changed.
(ob was trying to keep his weight down, so he stuck to his diet, the (agel for (reakfast the sandwich for lunch and then
whatever $oris put together for supper. 5ersonally, I would have not trusted $oris with making me food, as she most likely
would have poisoned me for not hanging up the guest towels nicely. In fact, one morning $oris almost tried to poison (ob
with his own routine. $oris got up before (ob and made herself tea and ate just little cubes of cheese. Bven though she was in
her seventies, she still wanted to be se6y and fit into those designer clothes. !aybe she was taking speed or some other drug,
as soon as I entered the house from the garage entrance she would physically say hello and then run fleeing from the house.
(ob was still in bed sleeping or just waking up. It was just him and me against the world. $oris would make the coffee and
leave just ready to hit the start brew button; she also sometimes left out the cream cheese for his (agel. I had cut his (agel,
and (ob then would spread the butter and cream cheese on it himself. ;eirdly, he had to complete this bagel ritual. I gave
(ob his (agel, and he was reading the paper; he reached for the cream cheese container that $oris left out. As he opened it
up, he was still looking at the paper, out of boredom I looked up and noticed that the cream cheese was a shade of $A4JH%
JABB>. 9(%( $%>8T 7'B THAT "ABA! "HBB'B 4%7A ;I?B I' TA4I>J T% EIHH 4%7I:
(ob looked at me like I was cra=y. I pointed to the creamcheese container, and it is ama=ing green color. (ob pushed the
creamcheese away. He chuckled, but maybe I was closer to the truth than he reali=ed. $oris must have got up at -&** in the
morning and left the creamcheese thinking that it was the perfect setup, the old man would consume it and died of food
poisoning. ;ho knows<
The job of a caregiver is a strange one when you think that you are helping and caring for a nonrelative. If you have
ethics, you are compassionate and caring the job entails a lot of work and patience.
'eniors suffer through many things, loss of health, sometimes the loss of the mind, and basically are left with memories and
few friends. !y 3uestion about this Gudea "hristian nation is, where are the family members< (ob did have daughters, but as
for caring for him, they only showed up briefly, and I still had to do all the work keeping their father alive. I was making a
little better than minimum wage is keeping your relative, your daddy, or granddaddy alive. As soon as said parent or
grandparent is dead then you show up.
I stuck it out for (ob, but the job certainly pay enough nor did command enough respect. $oris was not getting any nicer to
me or for that matter; her actions seemed to indicate that she would never eclipse the bitch status. Her life seemed actually
3uite good, for three days a week I took care of (ob, and the housework was handled by a maid. The maid had her routine,
and $oris, for some reason, didn8t bitch and her like she did me. Guanita and I bumped into each other on my last day on the
job. I had enough of $oris and after working for her when she went to the >ew 4ork fashion show. I had spent twentyfour
hours a day with (ob for a whole week and the money she paid was short for the correct amount by about three hundred
dollars. Her daughter had kicked in some money, but I should have been paid for around the clock service. The agency I
worked for would have charged her 3uite a bit more, but they also take to have the caregiver8s wages.
I decided that I would be an independent caregiver and chose a different client. I liked (ob a lot. However, if you are treated
like a servant without compensation for the e6tras, like fi6ing her shower door, or organi=ing her computer files it was time to
e6it stage left.
(efore I left I found out that Guanita had walked from Juatemala to America. Holy crap, is that dedication to that American
dream. !y neighbor8s teenage kids can8t walk to the curb to take in the garbage cans. !aybe we are deporting the wrong
people<
Guanita had a birthday my last day there; I felt guilty not getting her a cake and felt guilty leaving (ob to the whims of his
wife and another caregiver. 5ersonally, I couldn8t take $oris one more minute.
I went to work for another guy who was more talkative and sweeter than (ob, but it was still a hell involving strange family
that is seemed to plague humans and make a tragedy of aging bad cosmic joke by that Jod who made us in his image.