The best gifts to give are:
To your friend - loyalty;
To your enemy - forgiveness;
To your boss - service;
To a child - a good example;
To your parents - gratitude and devotion;
To your soul mate - love and faithfulness;
To all men and women - charity;
To God - your life. Amen...
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah,
you're an engineer--you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts de-
signing and building improvements.
After a while they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a
pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,
"So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air
conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to
come up with next! God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake--he should
never have gotten down there; send him back up here!"
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God replies
"Send him back up here or I'll sue."
"Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
would sit on his mother's lap and have a small bowl for dessert.
Unfortunately, he developed the habit of licking the bowl afterwards to "make sure he got it all".
This went on for a while, much to his mother's embarrassment . Finally, trying to tactfully hint that
licking my dish was a VERY impolite thing to do."
Bryant thought a minute, and then responded, "Well you can do it now if you like, because I don't
mind at all!"
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen where he filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In one he placed carrots; in the second, eggs; and in the last, ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
The daughter impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After a while, he went over and turned off the burners. He fished out the carrots and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He poured the coffee into a bowl. Turning to her he asked, "Darling, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled, as she tasted its rich flavor.
She asked, "What does it mean, Father?" He explained that each of them had faced the same adver- sity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
Now bringing you back...
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